Anyway, so Irina wins - big shocker.  Yes, her collection was mostly black, but as much as I hate to say it, it was the strongest of the three.

I still wanted Carol Hannah to win.  Oh well.  Hopefully next season will be better.  MUCH better.

Discuss.

Apparently, though, it’s a HUGE deal.  I’ve never seen so much sweating on one episode.  This one was a nail-biter, too.  I thought for sure Kevin was going home.  I mean, sous-vide when he’s never done it before?  In Top Chef history, when you try things you’ve never done, especially this late in the competition, it’s typically a bad, bad, thing.  But this season seems to be breaking those rules a little bit.

It was so good to see Jen crank it up and get back in the game.  Watching somebody crash and burn over a series of weeks (well, weeks for us, days for her) is difficult to do.  Watching somebody rally after a hard time is heartwarming.

I hate lamb.  Really, it’s not good.  And don’t tell me I just haven’t had good lamb.  I’ve had good lamb, I’ve had bad lamb.  I don’t like it, and I won’t order it.  So watching all that lamb last night, even though it was the best cuts, and the best chefs, didn’t make my mouth water like some of the other episodes have done in the past.

After reading the blogs, it seems that Bryan would have won if he’d had more time.  They really liked where his dish was going, but in the end, it was Kevin’s solid flavors.  Kevin’s solid flavors - which seem to be getting him win after win after win.

Eli’s elimination was more emotional than I thought it would be.  It was actually kind of sad to watch him go, even though I figured this was his last week.

And so we have the top four that everybody has predicted.  Next week will be a heartbreaker.  I don’t want any one of them to get cut after getting to Napa.  It’s always my least favorite elimination - the one from 4 to 3.  It’s just cruel - let all 4 of them compete in the finals, Bravo, come on!  (This is also why I’m not a TV producer.  My TV would be very very boring.)

I’m going to have to put myself solidly in Team Kevin and/or Team Jen at this point, although any one of them could take it, truly.  I do think if one brother won, it would be weird.  How do you get past that in any kind of family situation?  Who’s doing Thanksgiving this year?  The winning brother, or the one just not quiiiiiiiiite good enough?  Ugh.  For the sake of their family unity (having never met them at all, you understand) I hope it’s Kevin or Jen. 

My guess for winner is Kevin.  But you never know, the time off changes things.  But I will tell you this - I will definitely be watching.  This has been a great season.

But I was never more shocked and stunned by the 4 letter word I heard come out of the principal’s office when I picked up my daughter from school this morning:  “Mrs. Mc., A. has LICE.”

I nearly dropped to the floor.

I think I would have preferred to hear the F bomb.

For nearly 10 hours, I have had the washing machine going non-stop.  I have used more hot water in that time than in the previous year.  I’ve bought every lice killing chemical on the shelf.  I spent over 3 hours combing dead lice and nits out of my daughter’s Rapunzel-like, blond hair, only to realize I have to repeat this very same process in seven days, at my Mother’s, during Thanksgiving.  I have garbage bags of toys, pillows, and stuffed animals like land-mines around the house, in hopes of smothering this vermin.  In a humiliating act, I had a neighbor check my hair for the offending pest.  I’ve picked through all three males in the house and have found nothing so far.  I’ve prepared my daughter that when she goes back to school, kids will probably avoid her and tease.  It really broke my heart when I counseled, “Please remember to say a quiet prayer for strength if children are hateful.”  All because of a nasty, blood-sucking bug.

I know lice are not supposed to be related to the cleanliness – or lack thereof – of one’s home – but how come I feel so guilty?  She’s been scratching her head for several days, and it never even occurred to me it was lice??!!  Am I that filthy??

So, tonight, I’m sitting here exhausted, embarrassed, and very sad.  And incredibly itchy!  D*%# lice!

J runs in the house after he and Little Sister and Maggie the dog were playing with the neighbors, and says, “Phew! I’m thirsty! It’s hot!” He pulls out a bottle of Powerade, and unscrews the cap. For reasons unfathomable, he then takes that exact opportunity to take off his shoes and socks.

Little Sister sees the bright bottle of “juice”, and starts keening for it, in a voice that only dogs and irritated mothers can hear.

“Joo!” she whines, both arms above her head, trying to reach the counter.

J moves the bottle further out of her reach, and then continues to untie his shoes.

“Awan JOO!” she cries, now jumping up and down for the bottle. I’m flipping through the mail, and say, “Hey, J, if you’re not going to drink the powerade, give it to your sister, please.”

“I AM going to drink it. I’m SO hot!”

“Well, give her a sip from the bottle so she can drink it while you’re taking off your shoes.”

“NO. I don’t want her to drink anything before I have my shoes off!”

Because having a small child drinking powerade while her brother is still shod is obviously cause for concern.

At this point the wailing has turned into full blown freak out, and I reach for the bottle to give her a sip, knowing that just one sip will pacify her.

“Mom, NO! I don’t like drinking out of the same bottle as Little Sister!”

Fair enough. “Well, then get yourself a cup, and pour yourself some, and then I’ll give her the bottle. I know she just wants one sip out of the bottle.”

So J grabs a SIPPY CUP, without a lid, and pours the liquid into it, and tries to hand it to his sister, saying, “But I REALLY want to drink out of the bottle too!”

Little Sister sees the sippy cup, and does a little dance of anger with a siren-like howl. J shrugs and gives it to me, and takes a swig out of the bottle.

This enrages my daughter even more, and she responds by kicking me and hitting me and dumping the still not lidded cup of powerade all down my front and all over the mail. I stand up, pick up my daughter, and drag her into a time out in her room, telling her that it’s not okay to kick and hit mom. (Mostly, however, I put her in a time out so I don’t hit and kick her back.) As I’m depositing my daughter into her room so she can fully express herself at the top of her lungs, I call down to J, ‘WHY couldn’t you just pour some powerade into a cup? How hard would it have been to just give her the bottle??!”

J meekly acquiesces, and I hear him get a cup and pour, bringing the bottle to me upstairs. I thank him, close the door to Little Sister’s room, and go back downstairs. I find him in the living room, calmly reading a book. A full cup of powerade sits on the kitchen table.

“Aren’t you going to drink your stuff?” I ask him.

Without looking up, he says, “No. I’m not thirsty.”

And…cue the laugh track. Oh wait, this isn’t a sitcom. It’s my life.

Prophets have called children jewels in our crown, our most glorious achievement.

DH calls them irrational, destructive, sticky little beasts.

If you want my opinion, please don’t ask for it at 4:30 pm. Not if you are sensitive to swear words.

(P.S. My personal opinion is that it’s mainly to reduce costs, even though they swear that’s not it.  I’m still getting a mammogram at age 40. Call me old fashioned.)

Also, they are not teaching formal self examination anymore, rather, general “breast awareness”, meaning, basically, feel for lumps, know your breasts, but there’s no “one right way” to do it.  Discuss.

P.S. Be nice.

He has been here since Thursday evening.

In that time he has dumped newspapers all over the floor, and expected me to pick them up.

He expected a vehicle for transportation while both my DH and I were at work.  However, when it was time for him to pick me up, my 6 year old told me, “Papa didn’t buckle Baby Brother (3yrs old) in his car seat.”  This is my precious boy who barely survived open heart surgery – I would really appreciate it if he didn’t DIE in a car accident because his grandfather didn’t find it necessary to use his car seat!

He criticized the aforementioned vehicle because it is has 140K miles.  “It’s paid for, “I replied, “we are driving it until the wheels fall off.”

He complains that my DH is overweight and he really should do something about his health. 

I am overflowing with bile and resentment and I really want him to go home!

How do you deal with your in-laws?

13.1 miles.  If you don’t hear from me for a while, assume I’m sleeping for a week. 

I tell you, leaving for a couple of weeks really got me out of the P.R. groove. I missed Top Chef, and watched all the ones I taped as soon as I could, but getting back into Project Runway just didn’t seem all that interesting.  Where’s Christian when you need him?

I’m not all that surprised at the top 3, although how Althea is there over Gordana after that last challenge  - “Gordana - We love your dress. Auf.  Althea - Your dress was awful. Welcome to fashion week.” ???????

I will watch the finale.  Probably.  Honestly, I fast forwarded through much of this episode. But hey, the finale is always fun.  And I will give it a shot next season.  Get them used to the new producers, new network, new timing (wasn’t this fashion show we’re about to see almost a year ago?) but if the judges are gone as much as they were this season (continuity, people!) and the challenges are this boring, I’m out.

I do want Carol Hannah to win, though.  So I guess I’m a teeny bit invested.

Bryan’s was beautiful, but I can see how the vanilla would have thrown it off.  Vanilla and egg are not two things one would normally associate together.

Is it that cool a prize to get your recipe in the TC cookbook?

Elimination:

These chefs are EXHAUSTED.  Wandering through the casinos, it was pretty clear they would all rather have gone home to take a nap, possibly flip through a catalog to get inspiration.  Jen, in particular, is over it. 

Michael’s chicken wing and blue cheese disc looked amazing. I want one. RIGHT NOW.  GIMME.  No?  Fiiiine……….Kevin’s salmon was also something I would order in a heartbeat. And Bryan, of course, solid as well. They’ve clearly reached the point where they’re not even trying to hide who the top 3 are.  Of course, it could have just worked out that way. 

Seriously, though - 175 people?  By yourself?  In 3.5 hours?  Mean, Bravo.  Just mean.  I know they’re always mean, but I still like to point it out.

Eli was in serious danger with that revolting peanut mess.  I wanted to vomit just looking at it.  I think he was a little upset with his theme.  Waaah.  But in the end, a boring, poorly made panna cotta sent Robin packing.  It was time.  Possibly past time, but I don’t miss Mike I. in the least.  I don’t think Jen was in any real danger, her meat was tough, yes, and in other challenges, that could have been enough to send her home, but it wasn’t anywhere near the nastiness of the other 2.  She was solidly “in the middle” on this one.

Sooooooo. Now it gets verry interesting.  5 left - who goes?  My guess is either Eli or Jen, but in which order, and will somebody else crash and make a huge mistake, sending one of them (Eli/Jen) to the finals? Will Jen rally and start making her great food again?  I wish I knew, but I’m excited to find out.

Winner?  I used to think Jen, but now, I really have no idea.  It could be either V. brother or Kevin could pull it off. He’s been really strong, and frankly, his stuff looks really tasty.  I would be happy with anyone at this point.  There’s no “go Carla go” or “get Lisa OUT OF THERE” this time.  I like it this way, knowing I’ll be happy for the whomever gets the title.

Discuss.

P.S. Fabio is still sexy.