What to wear–short dress or long, or go casual? Swanky symphony, or party we were invited to? Try to get dates, or go stag?  As a teenager and as a young adult, as Dec 31 approached, these were all very, very, very important questions.  And to be caught at home on New Year’s Eve— well.  You might as well be branded with an “L” across your head for life. 

My friends and I have had some, um, creative New Year’s Eves, with some, um, creative companions.  We always wanted to make a night of it, and felt it was our teenagerly duty to do so.  And I have to hand it to us.  For girls who didn’t drink, we sure did some stupid stuff. (more…)

Yup, I’m still talking about my computer.

I am currently blogging from my DH’s office, as all is fairly quiet over here, because our computer is moaning in pain.  The worms and viruses have multiplied within it, probably programmed to do so every time we type the letter “e”, or something hideous like that.  We finally found a “doctor” for it, who said he’s seen worse.  Great.  Thanks.  We hope to have it up and running again soon.  We don’t just want to trash it, as the doctor initially suggested (yeah, always encouraging when a computer geek tells you you’re better off starting over) because it’s a fairly new computer, and we’d rather not spend the money on a new one three days after Christmas, thank you very much.  We need time to let those credit cards cool off, if you know what I mean.

I have so much to tell y’all (Yes,  I’m allowed to say that!), including posting pictures of the BEST CHRISTMAS PRESENT EVER, which happens to be an original child’s chess table painted by none other than the great Tracy M herself.  Yup, she and The Wiz took pity on my demonic possession and conspired together to grace my playroom with what is without doubt the coolest piece of art ever.  When our computer is up and running, I will definitely post pictures.  If ever you doubted Tracy’s talent before, this table will make you a true believer.  Not that I ever doubted it, I’m just now overwhelmingly impressed!  Thanks, you guys.

We’ll keep you posted.

I have a hangover.  A holiday hangover.  My eyes are bloodshot, lids heavy from lack of sleep, my head aches at the sound of toy noise, and my tongue is swollen from too many sweets.  (more…)

Merry Christmas, one and all! We have all been off making merry with our loved ones, as I’m sure you all (or y’all, as Heather O. would say!) were doing the same.

There have been a lot of comments on the new “dress” we tried on for the holiday… and we still haven’t settled on what, exactly, we’re going to do… so bear with us- you ladies know what it’s like trying to find something in your closet you feel good in and want to show the world, right? Well, I guess that’s what we’re doing too!

By the time find the perfect thing, I’m sure there will be a pile of “dresses” on the bed, and we love getting feedback- we want you to come along and feel and home, hang out, have some hot chocolate with us, and gab for a while. Basically, we want you to like it here, not only because we’re brilliant mama’s and writers (bwa-ha-ha-hahaha!) but because it’s pretty, too.

So, if you check in any random day, and things look different- let us know what you think or how it makes you feel… just don’t tell us it makes us look fat. Oh, and don’t worry, Rosie isn’t banished, just waiting for the right space to land.

I just couldn’t leave well enough alone.  This year, for a variety of reasons, we decided not to travel back West to see our families for Christmas.  For the second time in our entire marriage, we would be alone for Christmas.  Just us.

I have been savoring the thought for a while.  Ahh, alone.  Nowhere to go.  Just us.

Then yesterday it hit me.  Alone?!!?  Nowhere to go??!! Just US???  AAAAACK! (more…)

I’m not talking about my son, DH, or even my dog.

I’m talking about our computer. 

Have you ever heard a computer vomit?  I swear, ours did it twice this morning.  Some evil and vile and apparantly fairly new virus has snuck into our computer and infected it, a virus so sneaky that even Norton didn’t find it.  DH had to download a new spyware program to scan the computer, and the whole thing made our poor computer puke.

Seriously.  I’ve never heard anything like it.

But I think it’s on the mend, or at least well enough to let me blog.  I’m going to try to print something later –dare to dream! Good thing we all have better things to do than blog during the holidays, huh?

First of all, if you agree between friends and family that you are not going to exchange gifts, in my brain that means:  no gifts.  Why, once a deal is struck, do gifts appear anyway, making you feel awkward and uncomfortable, since you didn’t buy a gift?

Also, do you tip your mail carrier, and if so, how much, and do you just put it in an envelope with ‘Mailman’ on the cover? (I know mine is a man).

This is what I want to know.

We got a new dress for Christmas! What thinketh you? Any feedback or suggestions?

He’s being held for ransom.

There are moms out there who boycott McDonald’s for all kinds of righteous reasons.  Nutritional, economical, environmental, and personal.  I am not one of those moms.  I am one of those moms who feel guilty for NOT boycotting because there really are so many reasons, so please know that every time I pull into that drive-thru, I think of you, oh boycotting mothers, and I wish I had your strength.

Now there is a whole new reason to boycott. (more…)

In case you haven’t noticed, something is possessing our comments, making the fonts all wacky.  I just refreshed our page, and suddenly everything went all italiacs, which was a nice change from the miniscule font it was previously in.  We are working on it.  In the meantime, accept out apologies, and keep reading!

The other day I had a desperate mother moment.  You all know the kind I mean.  The kind when you honestly think, “I can not do this.  I can not do this.  I can not do this.  I need help.”  Usually, I stink at calling people for help, meaning that I never, never do it.  This time, as I sat in my misery and pain, for the first time in my life, I prayed for a name of somebody I could call to help me.  I knew DH was unavailable, so I needed somebody else. Having grown up on the Ensign and Sacrament meeting stories alike, I imagined my VT would show up at that moment, or something equally miraculous would happen at this moment of need.  Not only did I imagine it, I actually fully expected it.

Nothing happened. (more…)

Why is it that when my son spills cereal at 8:00 in the morning, I laugh, and just think “It doesn’t matter, I have the best vacuum ever!”  But when he does it at 5:30, it’s a TIME OUT! and I know in my heart that all cereal maufacturers are secretly trying to destroy families, and I will never buy cereal again!  Or at least until we run out…. (more…)

This morning, I got this letter from another mama friend of mine, and I had to laugh. Hope you like it too… 

Dear Santa,

I’ve been a good mom all year. I’ve fed, cleaned and cuddled my children on demand, visited the doctor’s office more than my doctor, sold sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree on the school playground. I was hoping you could spread my list out over several Christmas, since I had to write this letter with my son’s red crayon, on the back of a receipt in the laundry room between cycles, and who knows when I’ll find anymore free time in the next 18 years. (more…)

Last night I dreamed I was running.  Not the scared kind, but the exercise kind, where you feel good, you’re going fast, you’re covering good ground.  I was running along the beach, when I saw some old friends  I used to run with.  I waved, and tried to run through the water to them.  Wow, I can run through water!  I picked up speed, but suddenly noticed there was something big and heavy on my back.  I pulled it off, and it was a giant bottle of Gain laundry detergent.  I ditched it at the shore, and looked for my friends again.  There they were, at a lovely little restaurant by the side of the beach.   Again, I started running through the water toward them, again only to discover a big bottle of Gain on my back.  I tried, again and again, to get to where I wanted to be, only to be thwarted, again and again, by green bottles of sticky soap.  I finally lost the ability to run through the water, and gradually got sucked into the ocean, with a clear picture of 4 or 5 bottles of laundry soap on the shore. I woke up, gasping for breath.

Before I was a mother, I used to dream about flying from rooftops, of climbing tall hills, and yes, even that I was Buffy the Vampire Slayer with magic superpowers. 

What do I dream of now?

Death by detergent.

I guess I need to do some laundry.

I just have to say that my world is currently filled with all kinds of unrighteous pride because I kept one of my New Year’s Resolutions.  Today, at approximately noon, I finished the Old Testament!  I have to say, I rarely even remember my resolutions, much less accomplish them, so it’s a big deal in my world. 

Next year, it’s the New Testament. Wish me luck.

Dear Voldemart, 
It’s been nice while it lasted, but we are so through. I never want to see you again. No, I don’t even want to be friends. You suck. (more…)

The other day, I had to get new gloves for J (yes, it’s finally cold here–no snow, though), because I discovered his old ones had holes in them.  “How did your gloves get so many holes?” I asked him.

He shrugged and said, “I dunno. Maybe Maggie chewed on them.”  Not an entirely unlikely scenario, I thought.

“Oh, wait, I remember,” he said.  “I put them on my feet and used them to skate around the kitchen.” (more…)

It’s that time again–the time to pick out the teacher gift.  I’ve only had to do this twice, and I think I blew it the first time.  I gave J’s preschool teacher a mug with pencils and tea/hot chocolate in it, all wrapped up cute with cellophane and a ribbon, and even a tag.  This was all packaged for me already when I bought it, which made it a double bonus.  But I was told later by somebody in the know that teachers hate gifts like that.  Most teachers have mugs and ornaments with kids’ art coming out the wazoo.

But teacher gifts are tricky, because you don’t want to spend too much for fear of looking extravagant, and you don’t want to spend too little for fear of looking like a cheapskate, so the whole thing leaves me a little befuddled and confused.

So I know there are a lot of teachers and former teachers out there who read this blog, and I coming to you, mug humbly in hand, and asking you, What do you want for Christmas? 

I eagerly await your replies.

Today while I was talking to my sister on the phone, she kept hearing shrieks of joy in the backgorund. 

“What is that?”

“That’s my son.” (more…)