What are you and your families going to be?

Sadly, I did not win a million dollars at Monopoly.  I weep.

My son peed all over himself while we were wandering around looking for a javelina.  I cringe. (more…)

The Wiz and I.  We know how to party. And at this party, the food rocks. (more…)

Guest Post by kadusey

Dear MormonMommyWars writers and readers,
  
You’re all stunningly brilliant and wise, so I figured I’d ask for some advice.  I’m in my second year of marriage and fourteenth week of pregnancy, and I’ve decided its finally time to get a handle on this whole wifeliness and mommyhood thing.  (more…)

Tonight, after picking up the umpteenth dirty sock-wad, after doing my third load of dishes, after telling the boys for the 6th time to get their jammies on, after stepping in yogurt blobs on the floor after I TOLD them not to eat in the living room, I lost it.

Feeling bad, but still simmering, I went upstairs to get myself ready for bed- only to find my room torn apart; stuff from under the bed strewn about, a box I received in the mail opened and scattered, and my new tights I bought for cooler weather opened and tied around the bed posts, I really lost it. (more…)

Heather is on her way here!  We’re going to have a great weekend!  Our plans consist of me holding the baby 24/7, J watching TV until his eyeballs fall out, and Heather will sleep.  I truly cannot wait.

Jealous?

My husband and two year old daughter were visiting our Hindu neighbor for a quick hello before bedtime.  When they were leaving, our neighbor asked my daughter, Penny if she wanted some candy.  “Sure!”  she chirped.

Making sure that Penny was appropriately grateful for his offering, my neighbor asked her, “and who are you going to think of when you eat this candy?”

“Jesus Christ,” she replied confidently.  He looked at her in confusion.

“I didn’t teach her that!” said my flustered husband.  “We’re not brainwashing her or anything…”

When my husband came home and told me I laughed my head off.  Every Sunday during sacrament meeting, I whisper to Penny that when we take the bread and water we need to think about Jesus Christ.  It turns out the little monkey was listening after all!

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”

Hmmm…..really?  I think…….not. (BTW, I stole this title from someone but I can’t remember who, so thanks, random person I heard about once in high school.) (more…)

Ok, here it is. If you follow these directions, I kid you not, you will end up with a chocolate milkshake so much like a Wendy’s frosty you will be amazed. I beleive the original credit for the recipe goes to the Prairie Homemaker website, but I’m not 100% on that one.

• 1 1/2 - 2 cups ICE water- really, really cold.
• 1 1/2 cups non-fat dry milk powder
• 2/3 cup sugar
• 1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa
• 2-3 cups ice cubes
• 2  Tbsp vegetable oil (yes, really- it’s an emulsifier)

Place ALL the ingredients in the blender, including the oil. Use less water for a thicker milkshake or more for a shake that’s easier on your blender motor. With lid on, process for two minutes. Makes about 4 shakes.

I was reorganizing my pantry the other day (yes, my life really is that exciting), and I came across a can of Pork and Beans.  Not just any can of Pork and Beans.  It was THE can of Pork and Beans, a can so big that it could probably feed our entire block if a meteor hit earth, all grocery stores were obliterated, and we were all starving to death.  Which is probably the only time I would ever actually want to eat the dang things. (more…)

“The Itsy Bitsy Spider climbed up the water spout.

Don’t play with matches, they’re very very hot.

Itsy Bitsy Spider made the water spill.

Itsy Bitsy Spider, rain come off with yelling.”

Direct quote. I think his version is lovely. 

Don’t play with matches, they’re very hot, and then you might have to call 911 so the fireman will come and stop, drop and roll to put the fire out.

In honor of the thread that won’t die, I offer the following: (more…)

Toto is a mangy little rat dog.  What’s up with that?  (more…)

My dog Maggie and I.  We’re a lot alike.  And it goes far beyond being hairy, stinky, and just a little bit nuts. (more…)

I’ve been pretty wiped out lately. After getting back from our trip last week, I’ve had to confront the piles of tasks I’m supposed to do and it’s stressing me out. It doesn’t help that my brain is stuck in vacation mode.

Yesterday I had just come up from doing laundry in the apartment complex garage. I jotted three more items down on my to-do list then collapsed on the couch. My two year old came hopping over to me. “Mommy, can you read me this book?” she asked, and shoved “Green Eggs and Ham” in my face.

“No.” I snapped. (more…)

Go here and take the psychic server test.  It has “read my mind” 3 times now and I want to know the secret.  I need to know.  Help me know, sweet people.

Please tell me if you do the test and it gets it wrong.  I need to know that it gets it wrong sometimes.  I need to know.  Help me know, wonderful people.

If any of you know why or how this works, my family will thank you forever, since it is now taking all my time when I should be doing other things, like going to McDonald’s and pursuing my million dollars.

It’s slick, slightly sticky, and transparent, which means you can’t really tell it’s on your hands until it’s on your shirt, your skirt, your couch, and you’ve left glowing handprints on the countertops, doors, doorknobs….

Chemistry.  What a treat.

I’m over at Segullah again today.  Check it out.

I am obsessed with Monopoly at McDonald’s.  I truly want to win a million dollars.  I need that Boardwalk.  It is sad. (more…)

I want y’all to read this  post about Gage, an 8 year old who suffers from ARPKD (the childhood form of Polycystic Kidney Disease, which often claims children’s lives at a very young age) who recently had a successful kidney transplant.  Their story, by the way, is amazing, and I love checking in with them from time to time.  Grab a box of tissues and enjoy.

Clearly not reading their email, because I have not heard back from them.  Jane and Latsyrc, you are the winners of our giveaway! If your email was just a fake email put in to keep yourselves anonymous, that’s great, but I need to know how to contact you so I can get this stuff out to you.  Sorry that I can’t give everybody something fun–everybody deserves it for sure.

Ok, so Jane, Latsyrc, if y’all want the shampoo and everything, lemme know ASAP. If I don’t hear from you by Tuesday, I will pick new winners.

Again, sorry not everybody can get free stuff, but you’re all winners to me! (Wow, has anything that cheesy ever been said before?)