(sigh)

I need to pack.  I need to clean. I need to plan.  I have so much to do to get my house ready to sell, it’s not even funny. (Not the house I live, in, the one in Utah.  Please keep up.)

So, naturally, I am sitting in front of my computer with a tub of raw cookie dough eating it with a spoon.  Hmmm….. (more…)

And now, because I know y’all are dying for it, the bluebird update. There are now three eggs in the box, but I haven’t seen the parental units for about a week. I put up a box with a sparrow trap, and have managed to trap 2 sparrows as well as another bluebird, and I have no idea what to think about that. And I will tell you, just in case you all are ready with your pitchforks to tell me I belong in jail for evil animal killers, I failed to kill or even really capture the two sparrows I trapped. Darn those suckers are quick. And my dog, despite breeding to the contrary, is one lousy bird hunter. I have learned, however, that a wok lid is an excellent tool for keeping a sparrow from flying around your kitchen.

Don’t ask. Trust me, you don’t want to know. (more…)

TV Reviews

We might be smarter than 5th graders, though. Maybe.

(title courtesy of Nate O.)

OK, then.  I was forced to dig up my old yearbook because someone I had never heard of was very good friends with asked to be my friend on Facebook.  So I looked her up, and oh yeah!  I remember her!  She was hilarious!

So I started down memory lane and began reading what people wrote to me.  Um, yeah.  Hi?  What?  Is that supposed to MEAN something? (more…)

So you know how you tell yourself “NEVER AGAIN!” to certain things? Yeah, well me too. The one on the front of my mind at the moment is flying across the country alone with a little kid. By little I mean baby/toddler age. (more…)

This morning, as I was wrestling with the lawn mower, my neighbor drove by. He rolled down his window, gave me a thumbs up, and said, “Remind me to tell my wife to take notes from you. I’m going to tell her that you mow your lawn.” (more…)

Well, apparently there is an epidemic.  Rich people all over the world are dying in car accidnets and plane crashes, and I am the only one who can be contacted as the next of kin to get their millions.

I honestly don’t know what to do.  (more…)

I see some repeating themes. (more…)

If you wake up to find yourself a vampire, and you somehow find yourself facing a showdown with The Slayer, and especially if it is The Slayer from Season 4 and 5 where Buffy’s hair was long and flowing, I have some advice.

Step on her hair before you try to take her down. (more…)

If I were following my pattern, I should be extremely pregnant right about now. I should be counting the days, literally, until the next baby pops out and I can stop barfing and start eating like Cookie Monster. Only…. only… things are different now.

My baby turns two tomorrow. (more…)

My hubby and I now have a game to see who’s in the bottom and who’s on the top based solely on camera time.  Nailed it! (more…)

He talked quietly as we lay there on the bed together. Honestly, I wasn’t listening. It had been another long day and the relief of being away from my children and in a bed that I didn’t have to make was giddying. He had told me his name when we met, but I had forgotten it. All that mattered now was that I could close my eyes and lie in peace. It was one of those Sleep Number beds and he promised to take me all the way down to the number 5. As the digital remote in his hand went from 100 down to the single digits, I sunk deeper and deeper into heaven. This was living. Then my phone rang. (more…)

Alert reader Paula S. has finally discovered our secret. She writes:

JUST WANT EVERYONE TO KNOW THIS BLOG IS NOT REAL!!! THIS IS REALLY JUST AN ADVERTISEMENT FOR DYSON! ON OCTOBER 3RD ONE PERSON WROTE EVERY SINGLE BLOG ENTRY! I WASTED ALOT OF TIME ON THIS BLOG READING IT UNTIL I REALIZED IT IS A WAY FOR THEM TO GET YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS TO SEND YOU CONSTANT EMAILS AND ADS. DONT WASTE YOUR TIME! IF YOU REALLY WANT TO COMPLAIN ABOUT KIRBY, GO TO KIRBY.COM.

In the interest of full disclosure (since our secret is out now), I thought I’d also go on to explain that we use subliminal mind wave messaging in our HTML code, there is a secret bad a&& element in our banner, and my bluebirds are really animatronic robots.

Just thought y’all should know.

Bug Guy comes tomorrow.  Must. Clean. My. House.

Of course, I’m not cleaning.  I’m obsessing over why nobody noticed that David Archuleta forgot the words on AI and nobody called him on it.  Seriously.  Go watch it on YouTube, and if he is actually saying words after he sings “Imagine Me….” then I want to know what they are.  (more…)

Several of you have sent in interesting things to us to post.  We’d love to post everything, but unfortunately, we can’t.  Sometimes it’s because we have other things scheduled to post, sometimes it’s because the stuff you send is interesting, but not a good fit for the blog, and sometimes I’m just plain stupid and forget it’s sitting in my inbox. 

That said, here are a few things that have been sent in by alert readers that I’d like to call your attention to: (more…)

I was reading something the other day that went something like this:  “I see what people buy to feed their families and it makes me sick!”

Honestly?  People are watching what I put into my cart as I wander the grocery store aisles?  And then making judgment calls about it? (more…)

I actually have refrained from blogging minute by minute coverage of the wildlife in my back yard.  Really, I have. I didn’t tell you that the bluebird male picked himself a new mate, and they were nesting in my box again, this time with eggs and everything. I didn’t tell you because I figured at the end of the day, y’all just didn’t care that much. But then, this morning I found this: (more…)

We have bees.  I hate them.  Someone told us they have been slightly “Africanized” and so have a “touch” of the “killer bee” in them.  What? We have sprayed and sprayed, and they’re still there, so next week I’m calling in the professionals. (more…)