Seriously, I bought some yesterday. They are almost gone. After I opened the box last night for a quick dinner before J’s swim meet, I then had a Hostess cupcake and Dr. Pepper chaser. For about 30 minutes, I was quite pleased with the world.

2 hours later, with a blinding headache and a stomachache to match, I was less than pleased (more…)

I found this quite funny.

(The word s*x is used. It’s in a classroom setting, but you know, if you have young kids around….you’ve been warned.)

Because I just don’t get it. He was odd and creepy. Sorry, when a grown man says that having a 12 year old boy share his bed, a 12 year old who is NOT his son, is “charming”, that’s CREEPY, people.

So let’s talk about Gilmore Girls, Casablanca, and old boyfriends. (more…)

I am about to tell you a lame story.  It involves facebook. It really is incredibly lame. You have been warned. (more…)

Rick Bayless.  I mean, really.  Need we say more?

And yet, I do. (more…)

It’s 100+ degrees outside and my brain has turned to quick sand.  So, I’ve been pondering what else this could mean? (more…)

I would like to announce that I am OFFICIALLY the owner of one house only.  ONE.  IN ARIZONA. 

DO YOU HEAR WHAT I’M TELLING YOU?? 

(THE PRINCE IS MARRYING THE SEA WITCH IN DISGUISE!!)

Everything is done.  The money’s in the account.  Peter no longer has to be robbed to pay Paul, and I can breathe much more easily.

Talking to pool people next week……hee hee hee….

Today, I pulled up to the Burger King drive-thru. It was a specific request from my son, who found out from our previous Burger King trip last week that the toy in the kid’s meal was a set of Pokemon cards. We were out and about and insanely busy, and I just didn’t have it in me to drive my kids home for lunch.

I knew it was really bad, though, when my daughter, who just turned 2 and has only about 25 words in her entire vocabulary, starts shouting, “awant TICKEN! TICKEN! TICKEN!”

For those of you who are not fluent in Little Sister-ese, this means, “I want CHICKEN, specifically CHICKEN NUGGETS.”

To have this reaction when she sees me roll down my window? People, that’s just sad. (more…)

My husband ransacked the 72 hour kit for camping supplies. My son gathered my flashlights to store under his bed so he can read at night. My daughter pulled out the band-aids in my purse and used them as stickers.

So now it’s hurricane season, and I’ve got an incomplete 72 hour kit, no working flashlights, and a first-aid kit in my purse that lacks band-aids. Is it time to be released from being the emergency prep person?

Some days, I hate what mortality and motherhood has done to my body.

Beanie is laying on my belly while a fan blows hot air around the room, and I’m prickly and sticky. He is playing with my shirt, and finds the fading purple lines hatching my stretched skin, and begins to poke and prod me. He knows what they are- he knows they are his, his brothers and his sisters doing, and he thinks they are pretty. His fingers idly hop and trace and dance over my skin, as he asks about when he was a baby. (more…)

In the past month I’ve been invited to three baby showers in my ward for mothers who have new babies but also have several older children.  Can you all shed some light on the rules of baby showers?  I generally thought you had a shower for the first child and possibly the first child of a different sex – but when did the RS start giving showers to mother’s with multiple children of the same sex??  When I was pregnant, I had a baby shower for my first, but no one bothered with me once 2 and 3 arrived – especially #3 – once people found out he had a “genetic defect” they avoided me like the plague and wouldn’t even talk about my pregnancy, let alone give me or him gifts.  Like his defective heart was somehow contagious. Except Heather – she sent me this luscious pink robe that I still wear! (Or did you send that to me when I had my miscarriage?  Regardless, I still LOVE it!)

I can understand if a close group of friends wanted to give an intimate party for the expectant mother – but these showers are for the WHOLE Relief Society via Evite!  Really?

Maybe I’m bitter because I didn’t get a baby shower for number 2 & 3. 

We are having the cake.  Thanks again, Jami, for the pic. It’s lemony. I want to eat it, because, hey, TASTY, but diabetes says no.  I say yes.  I’ll probably end up taking a little extra insulin, and eating a little bit. (I like to pretend those diet tips that say “just have a bite or two, it’s more satifsying anyway” are right, even though I know with every fiber of my being that they’re lying). You should all eat some in honor of my husband, because he’s the greatest guy alive.  And if you had eaten the meal he made last night, (and the leftovers today), you would know this, beyond the shadow of a doubt. (more…)

If you’ve never seen a two year old trying to hold onto a floating ring and 2 floatie noodles simultaneously AND try to keep goggles on her face, all while screeching “MINE” to all approaching toddlers, you haven’t lived. (more…)

Today I was out running errands, and I got stuck behind a station wagon. And I’m not talking about some new sleek cool station wagon. I’m talking about a station wagon that looks like it barely lived through the 70s, wood paneling and all. Seriously old school. (more…)

First of all, thank you all for telling me this started last night. I would have missed it, and there’s nothing I like more than a good Top Chef episode, except possibly rehashing it ad nauseum on the blog. (more…)

How can I possible describe the feeling I get when I’m standing in a room full of books?  For me it’s comparable to a pair of warm wool socks, the security of an heirloom family quilt, or the fulfillment of a Thanksgiving dinner.  Peace envelops me when I enter a library or book store.  Bookshelves provide the perfect shelter from the static of my life.  The spines of thousands of books become friends I haven’t met, waiting for me to invite them home, to discover their true identity.  In a perfect world, I would wander through every row of fiction, launch into the 100s of Dewey’s wonderful decimal system and finish with biographies, only to begin again to make sure I didn’t miss anything. (more…)

Lemons.

So says my husband.

I ask you, HOW do you post about lemons?  (more…)

I’m a huge Pixar fan, and was really excited for this show. I took my 2 year old daughter and went with some girlfriends and their daughters. It was fun, but I feel like there are things we as parents need to talk about. (more…)

I know, it’s not the best topic after a post about free doughnuts. But, all the same, another Fast Sunday is here.

My question for you is, when and how much do you ask your children to fast?

Here at our house, we start fasting after baptism, but only one meal. This is mostly because we are 15 minutes away from our building, and this year our church goes from 1:30 to 4:30. This means that if we didn’t eat a small lunch beforehand, 5:00 would be the ABSOLUTE earliest we could shove food into their little bodies, and while that is definitely close to the full 24 hours that we are asked for, I also feel it’s a little too long for a 8 or 9 year old body to go without food. My husband doesn’t eat until afterwards.

(When church ends at at 12:00 or 2:00, we won’t be eating beforehand.) (Well, I will, but that’s because I’m diseased.)

What’s the policy at your house?

Donuts, how do I love thee, let me count the ways…

I love you airy, yeasty, iced and fresh, hot-off-the-line.

I love how your sugary glaze cascades down my shirt when I bite into you.

I love how I can eat an entire dozen without hesitation or guilt.

I love your endless varieties – chocolate covered, creams, jelly-filled, sprinkles, cake, old-fashioned, powdered, crullers, sugared, twists, fritters, bear claws.

I love your holes – especially when they are in a bag making my 3 yr old very, very, happy.

I love you especially today, on National Donut Day when my local donut shop is giving you away free!

I’m on my way my love, please wait for me!