By Heather O.
And there is no bigger sin here at MMW than being boring.
The problem is, life just isn’t all that exciting these days. I have a baby. I keep her alive. The end.
So welcome to my random crap post. And try not to be bored.
J’s birthday is coming up, and he wants a Webkinz party. Okay. Doesn’t he know I’m NOT Tracy M, and I can’t just create Webkinz invitations and a Webkinz cake out of thin air? I did my best Tracy M impression, however, and painted a silver W sticker the colors of the Webkinz logo W, and used a yellow crayon for the circle. Tracy would be properly appalled at the result, I’m sure, but it appeased my son, so there you go.
I served my family our new favorite veg dinner, Chick Pea Masala (THANK YOU DEBORAH!), and this time I substituted the rice for bulgar wheat, which, for some inexplicable reason, enhances my milk supply. Who knew. J gobbled it all up with glee, saying “yummy rice, mom!” and I got depressed thinking that my child is going to grow up thinking that rice is brown and round like a vegetarian freak I’m turning him into. I got all existential angsty, so Dh told me I probably needed a nap.
He might be right, considering that since my baby got the flu, she has yet to remember how to sleep through the night, and thinks that the hours between 10pm and midnight are the party with the parents hour, a thought reinforced by the fact that DH has brought her into our room for the past 3 nights to enjoy hanging out with us, saying, “She stops crying when I change her environment.”
Yeah, well, I’d stop crying if somebody changed my environment too, especially if it involves tropical beaches and nonstop fruit smoothies. But nobody seems to have whisked me away to such a place. Slackers.
On a brighter note, flu+nursing+vegetarian diet=some serious weight loss, causing the Wiz to lament that she and I might weigh the same. Since I still have a good 15 pounds on her, it’s not going to happen anytime soon, but it’s fun to imagine her consternation at weighing the same amount as a woman 2 inches taller than she is. But nobody ever mistakes me for a skinny little man, so there might be some benefits to her beefing up some.
In our sickly state, we watched a LOT of movies. “Snow Dogs” is a particularly bad one, and I spent the entire time trying to figure out where I had heard the main character’s voice before. Turns out he plays Mr. Waternoose in “Monsters Inc.”, and his hands in real life are so arthritic they actually resemble the creepy crab claw hands of his animated counterpart. I am not making this up. He really does have crab claw hands.
Which just goes to show that you really can learn something every day. Even when you are half delirious with fever watching a silly movie about sled dogs. The movie did move my son, however, as he began to bawl with ferver when the housepet border collie “Nana” whimpered when she didn’t get to mush with the rest of them. Since it’s Disney, however, which means it’s a movie completely void of reality, the housepet border collie of course saves the day in the end, becoming the lead dog, and pulling off a miraculous sledding victory. J was so thrilled, he made up a cheer that went, “G-O, G-O, N-A-N-A! Go, go Nana! Yay, Nana!”
Yeah, he was delirious, too.
But he did write the cheer down so I wouldn’t forget it, and serenaded me with it early the next morning. Very early. ‘Cause even when he’s delirious, my boy still likes to make his momma happy.
And if crab claw hands and cheers about border collies isn’t random enough, well then, I don’t know what to tell ya. I’m all out.
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