By Heather O.
I composed this post in my head last night at about 2am, after having a nightmare about Ben from Lost. I couldn’t get back to sleep. Yes, I am a blog addict and yes, I’m afraid of the dark. Sue me. Just do it in the day time.
When DH and I had been married oh, about 10 days, he had to stay up late finishing a project for school. He came into our bedroom around 1am or so, and I was just awake enough to see a dark, shadowy figure of a man creeping toward my bed.
He launched himself onto the bed, pulled me up and shook my shoulders a little bit, saying, “Heather, it’s just me! Wake up! It’s just me!” It took a second, but I finally woke up enough to realize who it was. It took longer than that for my heart rate to slow down, and DH said my entire body was trembling.
We were staying with my parents at the time (long story), and in the morning, I asked my mom if she heard me scream.
My mother, no stranger to my nighttime issues, calmly said, “Yes, we did. It was a little bit hard to ignore.”
“Well, what did you think? Did you wonder what was going on?”
“No, not really. I just figured you’re his problem now.”
It’s true. I am my husband’s problem now. I force him to check locks and windows before he comes to bed, and once, I even made him get up out of bed to throw THE MAN out of our bedroom, the one hiding next to my bed. When DH firmly told me that THE MAN was not on the floor next to my bed, I insisted he check the closet. He said, “You’re serious, aren’t you.” Yes, because THE MAN is tricky, and could have evaporated into the closet, and if DH didn’t check, he could jump out any second, and all would be lost. (In my defense, I really thought that particular sequence of events was a dream, which proves I must have been mostly asleep. Only in the morning did DH inform me how oh so real it was, especially the him getting out of bed in the middle of the night part to CHECK ON NOTHING. Yes, my husband loves me very, very much.)
Days are hard when DH goes out of town. I’ve never been very good at juggling things as a single mom, and 2 kids is even messier. I’d venture to say that most of us can relate to the feeling of just hanging on by the fingernails until the husband comes back from the business trip.
But for me, nights are harder.
I find myself lying awake, listening to every sound, trying to identify it, something deep inside me telling me that surely, surely, each sound means THE MAN might be coming. I keep the hallway outside my bedroom lit much brighter than DH would ever allow, just in case. I keep the dog, an animal who usually sleeps in our garage because of her fondness for licking DH’s toes at 2am, next to the bed in my room. At best, I imagine her taking a bullet for me or one of the kids, ala Hooch in “Turner and Hooch”. At worst, she might be able to distract the intruder with her toe licking long enough for me to grab the kids and escape into the night.
Dh is totally unsympathetic. “It’s nighttime. Go to sleep. It’s not hard–just put your head on the pillow, close your eyes, and then it’s sleepy time.”
Men. They just don’t understand that there is always a nightmare in the closet.
Anybody else have unsympathetic husband’s when it comes to nightime fears? Anybody else make their husbands do crazy and annoying things in the name of keeping the monsters at bay? Anybody else just plain ol ‘fraid of the dark?
DH is coming home tonight from his trip. We are all excited, me more than most.
It means maybe I’ll finally get a good night’s sleep. My monster chaser is back.
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