By The Wiz
My 9 year old daughter was recently asked to bring a modest and immodest clothing outfit to the church for Activity Days. It was stated that the girls were going to model the clothes for each other during the activity. If my daughter did not have immodest clothes to bring than she could cut out pictures of immodest clothing from magazines and paste it to paper. I feel that having a lesson on Modesty is important but, I have some issues on the way this activity might go about.
I hope that these 25 young girls from age 8-11 don’t have immodest clothing but, this suggests to me that many of them do. What if a young girl does bring immodest clothes? Is it appropriate to model these inappropriate clothes at church in front of each other? How would those young girls feel to be modeling their own immodest clothing in front of girls who didn’t bring immodest clothing? So, just model the modest clothes you say…but, are the girls learning about modesty or paying attention to who has nicer clothes and the comparisons being made? I’m all for cutting out the pictures of the magazine and think that would make a great activity in itself but…. Am I just being overly sensitive to the activity?
Just curious if you would want or let your 9 year old participate in an activity like this? I have had few issues with the Activities in the past and just opted out of not going like we will probably do for this activity. However, just opting out is fine for my daughter but, what about the rest of the girls? Should I speak up about activities I don’t think are appropriate? A lot of the activities have had some poor planning and communication which is why it has been easier to opt out of not going. But, is that really that right thing to do or is there something more I should do as a responsible parent? If so, who do I speak up too? I’m normally a very outspoken person but when I have made suggestions in the past I’m looked upon as the Mom who will always find something to complain about. I want to improve the situation and not make it worse by offending.
Does anyone have any help for this mom?
I was an AD leader for a while, and I say the more involvement by the parents the better! This activity sounds kind of weird to me too, why would they glorify the immodest clothes by parading them around?
I would speak to the AD leader first, to tell her your concerns and see if it’s just a misunderstanding. If she doesn’t calm your concerns, go to the Primary counselor who is over the AD. This differs in each presidency, but I can tell you from personal experience that the Primary Prez gets mighty tired of hearing all the complaints.
Comment #1 by Mother of the Wild BoysMarch 25th, 2008 at 11:02 amI don’t understand the rationale behind modeling immodest clothes. How does that not end in someone feeling bad about owning said clothes? And what kind of message does it send to say “You shouldn’t wear these kinds of clothes except when you’re modeling them to demonstrate that you shouldn’t where them”? Huh?
It seems to me it would make more sense just to have a modest clothes fashion show–although, not everyone has the same definition of modesty.
As a parent, you should feel free to voice your concerns. I’m currently serving in the Primary Presidency in my ward, and I would want to know if people felt uncomfortable about any activity. I’m sure you aren’t the only one, so others might be supportive if you’re willing to come forward.
If I were the activity day leader, I would appreciate being approached first. But if you felt that your concerns weren’t being heard (or if you don’t get along with the AD leader particularly well), I would talk to the Primary Pres or the counselor over activity days.
Comment #2 by bythelbsMarch 25th, 2008 at 11:28 amSounds like a skipper to me. My daughter of that age is naturally much more modest than I am and would be mortified by such an activity. And where is she going to find pictures of babes in bikinis? Honestly.
Comment #3 by ResearcherMarch 25th, 2008 at 11:29 amoops–that should be “shouldn’t wear them”
Comment #4 by bythelbsMarch 25th, 2008 at 11:29 amYeah, I’d have to bring something up to the leaders. I know it can be scary tell someone their activity may not be appropriate. But I bet there are other parents who feel the same way. If one person speaks up, it might give others the courage to do the same. Good luck.
Comment #5 by apple pieMarch 25th, 2008 at 11:42 amThat’s not just weird; it’s horrifying! 9-year-olds are just about to hit puberty and get horribly shy and insecure about their bodies–foisting grown-ups’ hangups about fashion on them is sick. A 9-year-old is definitionally incapable of immodesty. She is a child, and deserves to be honored as such, not shamed for some behavior she might at some point in the future engage in.
I would not only not let my daughter participate in such a thing; I would do everything I could to make sure it doesn’t happen in my ward or anywhere. If you don’t write to the General Primary Presidency, I will.
Comment #6 by KristineMarch 25th, 2008 at 11:42 amMy initial response:
Wha?!
Then I thought about it, and my response was:
Wha?!
Seriously, that makes no sense. I ditto what the others have said. Talk to the leader, talk to the PPresidency (if needed), and seriously, let daughter skip out.
Comment #7 by cherylMarch 25th, 2008 at 11:46 amYeah…it’s wierd. I too feel for the girl who brings a favourite outfit only to be told it is immodest. My YW Pres friend took her girls to the mall to find modest outfits and model them. At least then it was dream clothes that were being criticized, not actual clothes.
I run into modesty issues every year at camp. I am telling girls to go change, and they tell me their mom bought it for them and thinks it is ok.
Surely there is a better way to promote modesty!
Comment #8 by LisaCMarch 25th, 2008 at 11:57 amI guess I would be disturbed by this activity for different reasons than the ones stated here already. The definition of “modest” dressing can vary even between Mormon families (there have been quite a few bloggernacle discussions on this topic). I wouldn’t want my daughter going to an activity where someone would tell her wearing a tank top was immodest - because in our family it isn’t (though I would say wearing a tank top in certain circumstances is not necessarily appropriate).
I think talking about modesty as an attitude instead of line and lengths on the body might be more appropriate at this age especially with the popularity of Bratz Dolls and young “Rock Star” role models.
Comment #9 by tftcarrieMarch 25th, 2008 at 12:02 pmAs a father of primary-aged children, I would definitely not want them to participate in this activity. I would make my views very clear to whomever planned the activity and if it was not dropped altogether would try to discuss it with the other parents and in the end would keep my daughter(s) home that day.
Send the teacher a link to this post!
Comment #10 by john f.March 25th, 2008 at 12:04 pmThis does not sound like a rational activity at all. I would check with the leader about the specifics of the activity.
Maybe they’re going to burn the immodest clothing. Ok–well that doesn’t sound rational either. But, I cannot wrap my mind around activity day girls modeling immodest clothes, even to point out that they are immodest.
If the activity included modeling immodest clothing, my daughter (almost 9), would stay home that day. I would also contact the counselor over activity days. It’s just not appropriate to being teaching what’s not appropriate in this manner.
Comment #11 by rynellMarch 25th, 2008 at 12:14 pmMaybe you send her with a pack of Coors, so they can all drink it and talk about how you shouldn’t drink beer. Oh, wait. That doesn’t make any sense.
In my cynical mind it sounds like the goal is public shaming and peer pressure to promote modesty. If I were asked to model some clothing that is immodest- and therefore inappropriate- in front of my friends and leaders I would feel ashamed, and embarrassed. I certainly would never, ever, ever wear that outfit again, but not out of respect for myself, my peers, or God- I’d never wear it again out of pure shame.
Comment #12 by StarfoxyMarch 25th, 2008 at 12:23 pmI would speak up about it. I think it is strange. You aren’t trying to undermine the activity, just point out why you think it is inappropriate to model immodest clothing.
Comment #13 by TiffanyMarch 25th, 2008 at 12:37 pmI wouldn’t let my kid participate in that. Also I’d leave a flaming bag of poo on the teacher’s doorstep.
Comment #14 by Steve EvansMarch 25th, 2008 at 12:43 pmUm no way
Not only no way for the kids that dress modestly, but sometimes you have kids that honestly are from inactive families and wear what they are given. There has got to be a better way than humiliating those kids.
To me see you actually need this class in Relief Society to help some ignorant mother’s from buying there kids hoochie momma stuff.
Comment #15 by SarahMarch 25th, 2008 at 12:52 pmThe activity has been planned by those who have been given the call to plan it. None of us are perfect in our church callings. Try NOT making a big issue out of it.
If you feel uncomfortable with the activity “plan an alternative activity” for your daughter that evening. Let the leaders make and learn from their mistakes without judgment.
Comment #16 by care bearMarch 25th, 2008 at 12:52 pmNot a chance.
Comment #17 by Tracy MMarch 25th, 2008 at 1:02 pmI AGREE WITH Starfoxy… some 9 year olds cannot and do not pick out their clothes… and this is soo a way to humiliate… there ARE ways to discuss this without getting personal… ugh what was the leader thinking… I would speak up…
Comment #18 by nancyMarch 25th, 2008 at 1:12 pmnancy
care bear, I understand the sentiment you express, and I agree with it 100% - in theory. However, “modeling” anything that is inappropriate is not a good idea - ever. If leaders are planning activities that violate basic Gospel principles, letting them learn from their mistakes is not the answer.
The beer example is not hyperbole, and neither would a drug example be off-target. I can see it now in a combined Relief Society / PH lesson:
We are talking today about how to handle depression. These members will prescribed medication, while these members will take heroin and cocaine and marijuana and alcohol. We will wait a few minutes and see the obvious bad effects of using illegal and/or non-prescription drugs. Use the good stuff; avoid the bad stuff. Bye-bye.
Um . . . no.
Comment #19 by RayMarch 25th, 2008 at 1:34 pmI assume that the leaders had the very best intentions about teaching an important principle, but maybe just didn’t think it through all the way. It’s true that we shouldn’t be so quick to judge and try to do someone else’s calling, but at the same time we’re talking about children’s feelings here and the potential for a very bad experience for some. In those kinds of situations don’t we have an obligation to at least voice a concern in a gentle way? I would guess that the concerns you’re having probably just didn’t immediately come to mind as the leaders were planning the activity, and if you are careful in how you approach the subject they would ultimately appreciate the point of view.
Comment #20 by bythelbsMarch 25th, 2008 at 1:35 pmIt just sounds to me like the leaders aren’t in touch with little girls and how they think or what is age appropriate. This leader is probably struggling in her calling.
It’s an inappropriate activity all the way around/ Maybe she’s trying to get released.
Comment #21 by The WizMarch 25th, 2008 at 1:38 pmI spent several years as a primary president, and although I was certainly called and set apart to lead, I made some dumb decisions during my tenure. I appreciated feedback about things, especially when it was presented calmly and in a way that is not attacking. Part of sustaining other people in their callings is being willing to speak up with concerns when they involve us or our families. I think this concern is valid, and speaking up can be tricky. Make sure you present her with some of the concerns you have that people have talked about here. It’s a lot easier to accept concrete criticism than a simple “I don’t like it” or, even worse, “I don’t like how you’re doing your job”. You might even want to write down your concerns if that makes it easer to remember them. If after you have voiced your concerns and she makes the decision to go ahead with the activity, you are certainly free to do something different with your daughter if you’re not comfortable with her attending. Personally this doesn’t sound like an activity I would be comfortable with. Like a lot of people have said, children don’t always pick their own clothes, definitions of modesty vary from family to family, and I don’t like the use of negative examples. I think it would be better to have something that celebrates the body in a more positive way, like a healthy cooking class or a fitness challenge.
Comment #22 by FoxyJMarch 25th, 2008 at 1:39 pmStarfoxy…You beat me to it! I was going to say what would parents do if the activity day leaders asked them to bring cigarettes that they could all smoke, just to teach them not to do it!
Comment #23 by lizMarch 25th, 2008 at 1:44 pmKeep your daughter home, talk to the leader AND the Primary President. She needs to be aware of what going on regardless.
another thought….You’re not judging the activity days leader when you have an issue like this. You are simply making a decision as to what’s best for your daughter. Don’t ever feel like you have to apologize for that. Good Luck! and let us know what happens!
Comment #24 by lizMarch 25th, 2008 at 1:49 pmhm… I agree with a lot of what has been said here. I was just released from being an Activity leader. and I would for sure be OK with getting feedback and concerns from parents. If you are having repeated activities that your daughter is missing because they don’t seem appropriate to you, you NEED to bring that up to the primary presidency, and then the bishop. There is a book (Faith in God) completely chock full of ideas for these girls, seems like there might be one that mentions modesty… let me go look…ok, it says: “Learn about and practice good nutrition, good health, and good grooming, including modest dress.” I can think of a much simpler way to teach these principles without having a fashion show. I hope you bring it up, and let us know what happens!!
Comment #25 by beccaMarch 25th, 2008 at 1:52 pmHonest, the thing that most strikes me is that the activity days leader has let you know exactly what the plan is for an activity.
I would absolutely be concerned about this activity. But I’d probably assume that I understood it incorrectly. How did you find out the plan? From your daughter or did the leader send an invitation? Is there a possibility that what you think is planned actually isn’t?
I’d make a phone call to the leader and find out more info. If there’s no miscommunication, then yes, I would definitely, but kindly, let her know that it didn’t seem like an appropriate activity. Give her the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps she’s already thought this through since the original planning.
Something else, nothing about the modesty issue, is bothering me about this post. I recently discovered in my current calling that the women I work with are very unhappy with me. But they didn’t come talk to me. They talked amongst themselves. I’ve been guilty of this as well. Why do we do that?
Having said that, I have no problem with the post’s questions and think the concerns are very valid. Just that we need more information from the source.
Comment #26 by AhnaMarch 25th, 2008 at 2:20 pmI think the point Ahna brings up is good–it is always sad to find out that others have a problem with you and have talked to everyone else except you about it. I know I’ve been guilty of this myself, and it seems to be a common problem because we fear confrontation. I think that asking others for advice is legitimate and doesn’t have to turn into gossip, especially where blogging gives us access to a larger community than our own. However, it is important to remember that we need to communication with others when we have a problem with them. It doesn’t have to be contentious and it can be done with love, but make sure it gets done.
Comment #27 by FoxyJMarch 25th, 2008 at 2:25 pmI’d be very concerned about this. You should definitely speak up not only for your daughter but for the other girls involved! The focus of this activity should be more on WHY we value modesty, and less on what it is/isn’t. As Primary Prez myself, I would really appreciate the feedback (but maybe perhaps that is just because in my ward there is serious UNDER-involvement of parents…)
Comment #28 by LynnetteMarch 25th, 2008 at 3:00 pmI hope it’s a misunderstanding. If it’s not, then it’s a weird idea and I would have to say something.
Comment #29 by dangermomMarch 25th, 2008 at 3:14 pmMy daughter recently did a similarly themed activity in her Beehive class. However, the girls were simply asked to come with two modest outfits they could model. Skirts to the knee, capris, non-low-rider jeans, etc. were just some of the things they saw. Her leaders did talk about immodest fashions, but no one was asked to model anything inappropriate.
The evening was well attended and many of the girls spoke about that night as a highlight of their Personal Progress when we had New Beginnings a couple of weeks ago.
Perhaps, a gentle suggestion to the AD leader could help redirect the activity into something more appropriate, ie. not involving any immodest clothes owned by the girls.
Comment #30 by ArlamoMarch 25th, 2008 at 3:48 pmI’m short on time today, but just wanted to toss out a fun game they did when my oldest was in AD. They had a big poster of Britney Spears and played ‘Dress Britney.’ The girls all drew great, modest clothes for Brit and all got a chance to ‘dress Britney’ in their own designer clothes. My oldest was not at all into clothes at that point (or B.S.) but still had a great time.
Comment #31 by JamiMarch 25th, 2008 at 4:17 pmThis reminds me of the time a guy in my high school was in charge of the “devotional” for Seminary. And he decided to show how bad drugs were. (Ironic, since he was reputed to be one of the bigger dopeheads in the school.)
So, he brought in a record (probably a 45—how old does that make me?) of Steppenwolf’s “The Pusher” which ends with a whole lot of “G*d d**n the pusher”.
Great antidrug song, eh! That’ll get the Seminary kids in a spiritual mood!
Comment #32 by Mark B.March 25th, 2008 at 4:35 pmSpeaking as a past primary president, I would definitely speak to the Activity Leader, and also the Primary President. When you talk to the activity leader, you could phrase it as if you aren’t sure you understood the activity right, because you were sure the leader wouldn’t be asking the girls to dress immodestly…
Especially if this isn’t the first activity you have had qualms about, I would let your Primary president know… Sometimes people are in callings in church they aren’t a good fit for, and that won’t change unless the presidency knows about the problem.
Comment #33 by GingerMarch 25th, 2008 at 6:01 pmYou know, the run-way/modeling clothes idea could have come from the girls?
Comment #34 by lazy mamaMarch 25th, 2008 at 6:06 pmI can imagine:
leader: “what do you think we can do to promote modesty?”
girls: “Ooohh, we could have a fashion show to model good and bad clothes!”
leader: “that’s an idea”.
And now it’s an Activities Day activity.
The leader probably doesn’t know how to cancel it as this point. I don’t either.
Some of the girls are excited about it (Ooo, a fashion show).
I agree with a previous post, the focus should be on WHY be modest not WHAT is modest.
Find a talk given by a general authority on the subject and suggest the leader read it and have a discussion with the girls after the silly show.
I remember hearing something about doing head shoulders knees and toes to test your clothes?
Anyway, the girls will not be thinking about modesty while they do the run-way, they will be thinking about how cool they look in front of their friends…and possibly ousting others in the process.
If they do continue with the run-way, only model modest clothes and get it over with quickly and never plan it again…THEN spend the bulk of the time focusing on the real point, by reading and discussing a general authority talk on modesty. And WHY we choose to respect our bodies.
I remember having an activity like this when I was growing up, except immodest clothes weren’t modeled, only modest ones were. We talked about what was immodest, which gave us the opportunity to go home and evaluate what we had in our closet that we shouldn’t be wearing. I think it is totally inappropriate to critique girls on their outfits that their mothers probably bought for them. The activity could be a good one, but the way the leaders are going about it is a bit concerning. I agree with everyone else, talk to them about it. Good luck.
Comment #35 by AngelaMarch 25th, 2008 at 6:32 pmMy teenage dd was taught the head, shoulders knees & toes thing:
Comment #36 by RNMarch 25th, 2008 at 6:36 pmHead: When you put both hands up on your head your shirt should still cover your tummy.
Shoulders: Should be covered - no spaghetti straps or strapless dresses
Knees: - Shirts & shorts should be to the knee
Toes: When you bend at the waist to touch your toes, your underwear shouldn’t show.
(LOTS of adult women have this problem and don’t even realize it! Just this morning at target a woman squatted down to talk to her toddler and a good 6 inches of garments was showing! And let’s not even talk about the pregnant lady in a thong at the grocery store last week….that wasn’t pretty at all!)
It sounds like someone was trying to think of a creative way to teach the concept of modesty and just didn’t think it out fully. I think that if you respectfully point out some of the problems with this activity and maybe give some ideas that would work better, it wouldn’t be taken as criticism.
Comment #37 by TammyMarch 25th, 2008 at 6:43 pmThank You all for these wonderful comments. Many of these comments about the activity are exactly what we as parents were thinking. Our concerns included the girls feeling ashamed to wear the clothes instead of them learning why it is important to be modestly dressed. Or, why it is inappropriate to expose our young children to inappropriate behavior to teach them not to do it.
Unfortunately, this post didn’t get posted before the activity and I thought I would update you on what we (my husband and I) choose to do but, I really appreciate some of these comments to help us in the future.
My husband nor I felt the idea of the activity was great but, we want our daughter to attend her meetings. This particular daughter is very independent and we felt would probably not be affected one way or the other just because of her personality. Now if it would have been our 7 year old that is turning 8 this year there is no way I would have thought she could handle this. At the last minute my husband decided to take our 9 year old daughter to the activity and our daughter wore a modest outfit but, did not take immodest clothes…she doesn’t have immodest clothing. He stuck around in the activity until he felt uncomfortable and left to sit in the foyer. He was able to express his concerns to a member of the Bishopric. Girls did bring immodest clothing and modeled them but, the issue of what one family considers immodest and another did come up. On the way home he asked our daughter what she learned from the activity. She told him she learned how to make immodest clothes modest and that she likes going for the treats. Needless to say it did not really phase her but, another girl 11 years old was asked what she thought of the activity and basically felt ashamed to be wearing the immodest clothes. I don’t think the activity had the kind of positive impact on the girls as it could have been if approached in a differnt manner. I agree with the comment that modesty is not just a clothing issue it is also an attitude.
In the future we will go to the Primary councelor over the Activity Days. She wasn’t in attendance to this particular activity. I think allowing my husband as a Priesthood holder to speak up was and is important and makes the concerns exactly what they are concerns not judgments. If a Priesthood holder feels uncomfortable in a room of girls that includes his daughter than the activity is probably not appropriate. In the end I wished I would have spoken up more but, we did learn what and how we woud approach the next questionable activity.
Does anyone have a great website that might post some good ideas for Activity Days that I could direct these leaders too?
Comment #38 by StaceyMarch 25th, 2008 at 6:54 pmI’m not a Mormon so I hope you don’t mind me posting a comment. I enjoy reading this blog a great deal.
I agree that I would feel uncomfortable with my daughter modeling the inmodest clothing. And I agree that it would be much better for them to cut out the examples of what would be considered inmodest rather then modeling the clothes. The thought that they would even have that type of clothing would make me wonder.
I think you are correct in how you feel about this activity and how it was planned.
God Bless,
Christine
Comment #39 by ChristineMarch 25th, 2008 at 7:36 pmI just found this:
http://www.ldsactivitydays.com/
Maybe that will help them. I used to have that calling, and it is pretty hard to come up with different things for the girls to do each time. (But that was back before stuff like this was on the interent…)
good luck!
Comment #40 by mellocelloMarch 25th, 2008 at 8:15 pmWhere are they going to have 25 girls changing in and out of these outfits? My daughter would NOT be ok with changing in front of others OR modeling an imodest outfit. And what if a girl comes out in her “modest” outfit and is told it is imodest?
When my daughter’s AD group did imodesty they cut out pictures of imodest outfits from magazines and used markers and fabric scraps to make them modest but still stylish. It was a fantastic lesson.
If I were in your spot I would send an email to the AD leaders/helpers respectfully stating that your daughter won’t be coming and why. Mention that you have suggestions as to what you think might be more appropriate and let them ask you for those ideas if they want them.
Comment #41 by LizzyMarch 25th, 2008 at 9:06 pmComing waaaaay late to the party but as a former PP (w&s), I say that the rules are:
Comment #42 by s'meeMarch 25th, 2008 at 9:08 pmAlways teach the “ideal”.
Always use positive examples; avoid negative or non-standard examples.
Never teach/use something you need to “un-teach” later.
Never use comparisons (charts, etc.) between Primary aged children.
Keep activities age appropriate.
Keep it simple and basic.
I really didn’t need the visual of the pregnant lady in the thong. That is going to give me nightmares. I guess that will replace the killer clown dream.
Comment #43 by LindsayMarch 25th, 2008 at 9:55 pmI used to be an AD leader adn would suggest that you mention it to the leader if you have conserns. sometimes it just doesn’t occur to the leader taht something may be a little off. if you are not comfy talking to the leader talk to the Primary Pres or couselor and make sure you are trying not to be a pain but just want to make sure that you are concerned for ALL the girls taht are involved.
Comment #44 by AprilMarch 25th, 2008 at 10:42 pmAside from the modesty/immodesty issues, I think I have a big problem and serious reservations on this activity…
In my mind, 9 years old is a very tender age for a pre-pubescent girl who is likely going to be entering a massive change in the next few years. The last thing to have young girls within this period of development is to place one in front of many to be scrutinized.
Forget the aspect of modesty (or not), they are examining features of a peer who may be larger or smaller, cuter or not, well dressed or not, etc. etc.
Girls in general have a tendency to be catty and its not something we acquire as women- this is cultivated at very young ages and having such an activity, I think, presents the perfect opportunity to “sort out” those who are cool and those who are not.
Why even begin to open up this can of worms? Especially so young when they will likely get some version of it during YW or high school? And even if none of the sorting out occurred, there is still the issue of each individual’s self esteem suffers as a result… if it were me (when I was 9), mine would have taken a major beating because at that age, I was already self-conscious about a lot of things.
I don’t necessarily endorse outright complaining or getting upset with the leaders. However, I see nothing wrong with playing dumb and asking for clarification on what exactly the plan is in teaching the girls. If I still felt the same way, I think I would bring up the points that cause me to pause and be concerned:
providing the opportunity to judge others;
Comment #45 by hayngrlMarch 25th, 2008 at 11:29 pmthe sorting out aspects;
self-esteem and insecurities;
shaming others for exercising their agency.
Dressing Britney…good one
Comment #46 by annahannahMarch 26th, 2008 at 8:27 amI agree that it’s a strange idea, but if it were my daughter in AD, I’d privately and gently voice my concern to the counselor over AD. And if they decide to do it anyway, it’s definitely reasonable to opt out! And if you’re going to talk to other parents about it, I think it would be wise to leave the person out of the discussion, as it would be a perfect set-up for gossip.
Comment #47 by MarisaMarch 26th, 2008 at 9:11 amLots of posts here. I am with you. Strange. We actually had a good YW talk on modesty. The Pres bought three shirts, all size large, all obviously not the same size or shape. She told the girls that just because it says large or small or whatever, it does not mean that it is your size. You must try things on. If you can see you bra, it is not your size. I think it was an effective lesson. Kind of a “What Not To Wear” for the LDS teen. For Activity Days though….sheesh. Talk to the parents. Those kids are buying the clothes anyway. Good luck. I would opt out if I were you.
Comment #48 by KatieMarch 27th, 2008 at 5:44 amChill out! Okay, I think that we can be overly critical of these activities and teach our children to be critical of their leaders and possibly not respect them as a result of our criticism. Is it possible that we parents can pick a particular activity (and its leader) to shreds? As a parent of seven, I have seen activities that seemed poorly planned and others that turned out better. But we have to remember–what was the intent of this activity? Was the leader trying to embarrass the girls or was she trying to let them have fun while learning how to dress modestly? There is a Church standard for modesty, isn’t there? I always thought it was to cover the garments. The Church standard should be taught without apologies. Please give this leader a break and realize that if you were in her position you wouldn’t be perfect either. How would you want others to treat you? Personally, people in the Church who are hyper critical of things like this are people that I try to avoid, because I don’t want to get caught up in this form of negativity. Try to look for the good in people and you will be a happier and more Christ-like person! I don’t see a serious problem since the girls had the option to cut out examples of immodest clothing from newspaper ads, etc. Spend your time wisely;
Comment #49 by chickoolMarch 27th, 2008 at 7:07 pmfind some real evil to fight against. By the way, I’m a convert of 28 years and I don’t understand why Church members pick at each other so much!
My young women youth group just did this yesterday. Today the kids where layers. (tanks over plain shirts.) that is what we did to show the modest to immodest. I think it was fun and i learned a lot from it.
Comment #50 by Courtney ThompsonMarch 28th, 2008 at 12:03 amThis pro/con type teaching wastes a lot of instruction time on the cons that we need to teach *our* side. The devil has enough advocates without us becoming one of them.
Comment #51 by J.A.T.March 29th, 2008 at 1:07 amAs a former PP, I’d love to ask folks to please please please take their concerns to the individual teacher/leader. If possible, never the Bishopric (they always go too far or dump it back on the president) and if you aren’t comfortable with the teacher, then a member of the Primary Presidency.
There are very few times speaking to someone’s “higher up” about a problem is going to remain insignificant. It’s great to use the lowest common denominator in dealing with problems like this - have a chat with the leader. Complete with a big fat thank you for all the woman does right!
Overall, I’d just love to see the church harp less about modesty with little girls. Life is hard enough - and now the clothes your mom buys you when you’re in school aren’t good enough either - argh…
Comment #52 by mamaMarch 29th, 2008 at 2:24 pm[…] P.P.S. For a discussion about modesty fashion shows gone astray, check out this post at MMW. […]
Pingback #53 by You Be the English Teacher « The ExponentApril 4th, 2008 at 2:14 amSHAME ON YOU!!
Comment #54 by Barbara GoddingOctober 31st, 2008 at 9:32 amHOW DARE YOU DO THAT TO A KID YOU OUGHT TO BE SHOT FOR THAT IF YOU DON’T WANT YOUR KIDS TO WAER IMMODEST CLOTHES THAT IS OUR BUSINESS BUT TELLING OTHER PEOPLE WHO HYPOCRITES!!!
I got one thing to say…..
Comment #55 by Barbara GoddingFebruary 10th, 2009 at 4:32 pmMIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS YOU NARROWMINDED TWITS STAY OUT OF OTHER PEOPLE’S LIVES!!!!!
Hi! I thought you might be interested in sharing a fun music video my family and I made about modesty. Here is the link to the video: http://youtu.be/UXzWNQT1cJk . My husband and some friends wrote the song as a means to communicating the sensitive subject of modesty to a show choir at the University of Utah’s Institute of Religion some years ago. It was a big hit and we feel like it might help young women to get the message. Thanks, enjoy!
Brittany
Comment #56 by BrittanyOctober 5th, 2010 at 2:15 pm