So, you’ve met my bluebirds.  In case you don’t recall, here is a photo, cropped per y’all’s suggestion:

(Sorry, it’s kinda fuzzy.  My photo skeelz are not so hot.  But you get the idea.)

Here is the Bluebird’s nemesis, known to some as “the killer House Sparrow”:

 House sparrow.jpg

I sent the following question to Bluebird Bob:

“We have 2 bluebird boxes. We have seen a pair of bluebirds making a nest in one of them, but the other has been taken over by house sparrows. Since the sparrows have made a nest, I have not seen them around the bluebirds; however, I know they can pose a threat to blubirds. Should I evict, trap, and kill the house sparrows that are already established? If so, exactly how does one trap and humanely kill a bird?”

Here was Bluebird Bob’s reply:

“There are excellent inbox traps for doing this, and yes, you should. Send your mailing address to walshaw1@cox.net and I will send you a free 20 page Bluebird book that will give you all the information that you need. Bluebird Bob. Be sure to kill them, as if you let them go somewhere else you are just giving the problem to someone else. Like starlings they are classified as alien pests and are not protected. The traps do not hurt them. They just keep them from exiting the box. You then put a clear plastic bag over the box and let them out into it. Once you are sure you have a house sparrow you just whack them. They are fragile and this kills them instantly.”

Holy mackeral.

I understand the philosophy behind this.  House Sparrows are not native birds, and were introduced by, yup, you guessed it, NEW YORKERS to help kill some worms that were killing trees in Central Park (Have I mentioned New Yorkers are weird?).  But House Sparrows seem to the be the carp of the birding world.  They eat anything (except, as it turns out, those pesky worms in Central Park), including gross disgusting trash that, as one author put it, “No American bird would humble itself to eat”. (And if you are thinking that pigeons, birds affectionately known as “rats with wings” are the noteable exception, you should realize that they are not native to North America either.  Apparently American birds have picky palates.  Who knew.)  They can terrorize other native cavity nesting birds, including going so far as to kill bluebirds and their young.   One author described them like the mouse in your house.  Cute and fuzzy, but alien and dangerous enough to merit use of aggressive force.

Dude.

I don’t know if I’m man enough to do this. 

But I haven’t seen the female bluebird around lately, just the more colorful male, which could mean a couple of different things:

a) The sparrows bugged her so much she took off, disapproving of the site of the box in general, and went to pick another one-

b) The sparrows went so far as to actually kill her already, and she’s dead somewhere while her mate sings a mournful song of woe-

c)The cat next door had a tasty lunch.  See above regarding mournful song of woe.

One of the other real problems is that I’ve read that a male house sparrow bonds with a box more than he bonds with his mate, and will therefore return year after year to the same box.  The little bugger.

So, what do I do?  Kill the suckers?  Let nature take it’s course and let the best bird win?  Take down both boxes and retire from the bird breeding business? 

I’m just all a-flummoxed.

What would you do?  Anybody ever kill a bird before?