By Heather O.
This is a guest post from Melissa.
I have a problem with prayer. Yes, our personal, communication with Heavenly Father. Lucy, the character from the Peanuts gang, often had an advice stand that read, “Dr is IN or OUT.” When I petition God, I feel like I’m kneeling at the foot of a very large stand that reads, “God is OUT – at least for you.”
There is not enough space in all of blog-dom for me to chronicle my battle with receiving (or maybe it’s interpreting) personal revelation thru prayer. My fervent prayers are met with a heavenly echo, as if I’ve dropped a rock down the shaft of a very deep well. Plunk.
My most recent experience came when my DH was offered a DREAM job. Unfortunately, that dream job was in a part of the country that wasn’t so McDreamy for the rest of the family. The pro/con list read something like this: Pro: DH’s job Con: Cost of living; cost of living; schools; specialty pediatric care for child #3; hurricanes; a pay-raise, but still take home less money than your current not so McDreamy salary, in Podunk, America; oh, and did I mention cost of living. Still, when DH is offered something like that you wonder, are these CONS obstacles that God is putting in your path to test your faith (Ok, I have an issue with faith as well) OR is it a way of God saying, “Warning Will Robinson, Danger, Danger.” So, DH and I petition God about what to do. What do I get…Plunk. Then I pray, “Heavenly Father, PLEASE, you know I have issues with prayer, please throw me a bone! This is a life altering decision, if I’ve ever needed a lightening bolt, now’s the time!”
Ultimately, we decided to decline the DREAM job, primarily on the basis of child #3, who requires specialty pediatric services on a weekly basis, which after several frantic days and many long distance phone calls to this potential location, it was determined that such services were nearly non-existent.
Right or wrong decision…I don’t know. It’s been a month now – I still have the pit in my stomach like somehow we’ve failed a test. I still feel like God was OUT.
Has anybody had similar experiences? What do you do to make your prayers more meaningful, to feel like God is listening?