By Heather O.
“Mom, you know what?”
“What?”
“I can do all the farts.”
“What?”
“Yeah, I can do all the farts. I can do arm farts, leg pit farts, real farts (pointing to his arm, ‘leg pit’ and buttocks), elbow farts (putting his lips to the inside of his elbow to deomnstrate) and hand farts. Wanna see?” (putting the heels of his hands up to his mouth to give me another demonstration.)
“No, thanks. I don’t need to see that.”
“Too bad, because I’m REALLY good at that one, better than my friend at school. Yup, I’m a really good farter.
HIs father and I are so proud.
UPDATE: After giving me a hug this morning, J patted my tummy and said, “Wow mom, you’re still REALLY big from when you had the baby,” and proceeded to poke at my belly button, fascinated.
Happy Memorial Day, everybody. Say a prayer tonight for our soliders.
Ah, but can he do forehead farts? Those are tricky to master.
:-)
Comment #1 by Emily CMay 26th, 2008 at 7:58 amWho needs a Wii or XBox with this type of classic boy entertainment!!!
Comment #2 by AbbyMay 26th, 2008 at 8:47 amBoys, I swear…
Comment #3 by Tracy MMay 26th, 2008 at 9:08 amDare I say the really hard fart skill is learning how to stop one. Some people never master that one.
My 6 year old drew a picture of a naked person with bubbles all over his rear end (not being sexist here-she also drew the other side of said nudist). She was so amused that she drew a bunch of farting friends for him. Charming.
Comment #4 by JamiMay 26th, 2008 at 9:08 amAh, boys.
Comment #5 by Alison WonderlandMay 26th, 2008 at 9:30 amI have three in a row and, while currently only one is old enough for any other than all natural farts, I can see many a fart competition in my future.
This reminds me of when I lived in Japan we saw a TV show of 100 guys lined up in a row with numbers on them like they were funning a marathon. Then the emcee with his mic went down the row, “#1…” The guy farts. He goes down this long row of men, from 1 to 100 and they all farted on command at the exact right moment - on cue.
Maybe that’s J’s next challenge. The on-command fart.
Comment #6 by meemsMay 26th, 2008 at 11:06 amOur great farter is our youngest - a tiny, skinny 5-year-old girl. (Seriously, the twinkie is almost 40 pounds by now - and she is almost 6!) She is SO proud of herself - that she makes her older brothers jealous.
I think it’s great; my wife not so much.
Comment #7 by RayMay 26th, 2008 at 1:07 pmThis is why boys are SO much better than girls!! With boys like this, who needs cable TV?
Comment #8 by SallyGirlMay 27th, 2008 at 6:53 amLiving with six members of the opposite sex, I have definitely learned that there is nothing funnier than a fart….at least, that is what my boys (and DH!) would have me believe.
I think my three year old found his soul mate a couple of weeks ago, though. He went home with one of his Sunbeam class friends after church…a GIRL. Her mom was laughing so hard when she told me how their day went. As they were sitting at the table having a snack, her daughter C stood up and let one rip, loudly and looooong. She turned to my son and asked quite proudly “Did you hear that, M? That was me!” M turned to her and said “C, can I love you forever?”
Comment #9 by ArlamoMay 27th, 2008 at 7:21 amAnd another boy-ism that drives me crazy…….
I once walked into the bathroom to discover one of my sons and two of his friends having a contest to see who could pee the highest. The winner stood on the bathtub and marked the wall behind the toilet within two inches of the ceiling.
I called the boy’s moms and all three kids were made to clean up the mess. It was that moment that I decided my sons could learn to clean the entire bathroom BY THEMSELVES by age 8.
I am such a mean mom.
Comment #10 by ScarehaircareMay 27th, 2008 at 9:45 amI can top your update: My dd, about 2 1/2 at the time, came into my bathroom when I was just getting out of the shower. She stopped, pointed to my big (non-pregnant)belly and started laughing hysterically. And then she came up and wanted to poke at it. What a kick in my self-esteem!
Comment #11 by StrollerbladerMay 27th, 2008 at 11:03 amHow about trying to master “fart prevention” and teaching it to their dad?
Comment #12 by KrisMay 27th, 2008 at 2:46 pm[…] Laugh-out-loud post of the week. […]
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