By The Wiz
There is a cake, sold at Safeway, (and if you don’t have a Safeway, or it’s not at your Safeway, please don’t come at me with pitchforks) which is my new favorite cake of all time. Please serve it at my funeral (you know, in about 50-60 years time), and every time somebody takes a bite, I want them to say, “Wow, that Wiz? She knew a good cake when she ate one.”
I have never really thought about what food I wanted served at my funeral, (although I would be perfectly happy with traditional ham and potatoes to precede the cake) and I’m glad to finally get that monkey off my back. Whew.
Plus, store bought cakes are easier, so everyone can enjoy the funeral and wonder why random Sondheim musicals are being played (because if anything is going to pull me back from the next life, it’s a good musical, and oh my gosh, this post is turning into what I want at my funeral, which is very strange indeed), instead of being stuck in the kitchen trying not to burn a cake in a ward oven. Although, I’m sure by then ovens will be soooo over.
So, back to the cake: It’s called Marscapone Cheesecake, and fear not, it is awesome. I am not a huge cheesecake fan, and I could eat this every day of my life. It starts off with a layer of just tart enough, super moist, lemon cake. On top of that there’s a thin layer of blackberry, and then the marscapone cheesecake icing, which is dreamy beyond dreamy, then just a touch more blackberry. I totally count it as a serving of fruit. And Dairy. So, it’s way Good For You.
I failed to take a picture, and the Safeway webiste doesn’t have a picture, so I cannot equip your husband with a picture as you send him to the store. (And have you noticed how much easier it is to have your husband shop if you hand him an empty container and say “get the one that looks EXACTLY like this” instead of just telling him to buy…say…laundry detergent? Just a tip for you newlyweds. It becomes unnecessary when you’ve been married longer.)
And if you don’t like it, please don’t email me saying how awful it was, and how much you hated it, and you can’t BELIEVE you wasted money and calories on that. Just let me enjoy the memory of eating a perfect, perfect dessert.
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Jami took this picture and sent it to me before she ate the cake. Isn’t it lovely? Although I would like to add that she put the lovely, lovely berries on top before serving it. REPEAT: THE BERRIES ARE NOT SOLD ON THE CAKE. DO NOT LOOK FOR A CAKE WITH BERRIES. UPDATE: THERE WERE BERRIES ON IT. SO LOOK FOR A CAKE THAT MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE BERRIES. Honestly, I think looking at the label is your best bet. Feel free to add berries later, as I think it’s a nice touch and I wish I had thought of it. Many thanks to her for sending the pic.
And with that, I will now go dig into the leftovers.
And possibly ponder my funeral a little more. And also, wonder if I can go to Broadway shows for free after I’m dead.
Or not.




If anyone serves a Costco cake at my funeral I will come back and haunt you.
Comment #1 by ResearcherJune 16th, 2008 at 11:02 amLOL
P.S. Husbands are great with coupons because they have pictures. Keeps them busy!
Comment #2 by NatalieJune 16th, 2008 at 11:05 amHah! Sexism! Sexism most foul. I’ll have you know that I do 95% of the grocery shopping in our family and have for years. Before then, I did it jointly with my wife.
At this point in time, I also do 95% of the cooking as well, when actual cooking for more than one person is done. My wife and I are empty-nesters, and most of our food preparation for our individual meals. The only time we have sit-down joint meals is when someone else is coming over to eat.
Now excuse me — I have to bake some pies to take over to the Bishop and his family. No, really…. ..bruce..
Comment #3 by bfwebsterJune 16th, 2008 at 11:27 amMy hubs does 90% of the cooking as well. But when we were first married, our “brand loyalties”, if you will, were different.
Comment #4 by The WizJune 16th, 2008 at 12:15 pmThat cake sounds good. And I mean gooooood. I hope my Safeway has it. Or maybe I don’t. Another calorie-laden temptation is the last thing I need.
I wonder how late my Safeway is open.
Comment #5 by bythelbsJune 16th, 2008 at 12:29 pmAbout #1: not that any of you are going to be at my funeral, much less serving the meal afterwards . . .
. . . just wanted to put it in writing . . .
(I guess if it’s important enough I should make a note and put it in the file with my will. After all, I am trying my hardest to transmit my thrifty Scottish heritage to my children and what could be better than a $15 cake that can serve 100? That’s 15 cents a serving. [Not at my funeral, please.])
Comment #6 by ResearcherJune 16th, 2008 at 12:33 pmAnd to The Wiz in #4, your husband came to your marriage with brand loyalties? I’m jealous. Mine came with the idea that the cheaper the better and a square meal consisted of two squares of cheese melted on two squares of bread. It took awhile to train him out of the two-bowls-of-cold-cereal theory of life.
Comment #7 by ResearcherJune 16th, 2008 at 12:37 pmI once took a picture of a toilet seat and sent my husband to Home Depot to get a replacement. He never would have gotten the right one. (A little insanity of mine: must have perfect t-seats in the house when I’m nesting prior to giving birth.)
With you on the musicals. Will be soon on the cake.
Comment #8 by JamiJune 16th, 2008 at 12:40 pmI still say the Albertson’s white cake with the raspberry filling and the whipped cream frosting is the best cake ever.
No Costco cakes, no Sam’s Club cakes, and definitely no Wal-Mart cakes. At my mom’s funeral, we got the choice of ham and funeral potatoes, or brisket. My brother picked the ham. Sigh. Still, what would a funeral be without ham and funeral potatoes. The fact that we also ate this at my other brother’s wedding luncheon is beside the point.
Comment #9 by LindsayJune 16th, 2008 at 12:56 pmSounds good, I would like to add aside from the cake, a broadway music for my funeral. I’ve been craving for cake since last week. Anyway, you guys, tasted a purple yam cake? I want that to be serve in my funeral too.
Since we are talking about cakes here, can you feed some of our pets at Http://jbsolis.blogspot.com with those cakes if you are not done with the left over yet? We have three pets there, a kitty, a young cub (tiger) and a rabbit. and oh, mommies, can you help us choose a name for our black cute cat that will welcome you when you visit the site? Thank you for the cake.
Comment #10 by ShielaJune 16th, 2008 at 12:57 pmYUM
At costco my favorite are the 7 up cakes. yummy!!!!
I want only yummy food served at my funeral. don’t care what it is as long as it’s yummy!!!!
At my grandpa’s we had candy because he always gave us candy. We even put candy on his casket instead of flowers.
Comment #11 by SarahJune 16th, 2008 at 1:05 pmIf there are no musicals in heaven, are we sure we really want to get there?
Comment #12 by DaveJune 16th, 2008 at 1:18 pmYou won’t be able to taste the cake. You’ll be dead.
Comment #13 by Heather O.June 16th, 2008 at 1:20 pmFor my husband, no musicals would be heaven.
Comment #14 by LindsayJune 16th, 2008 at 2:12 pmSeven thumbs up from the La Family! I sent you a picture taken before we demolished it. Safeway should give you a commission.
Comment #15 by JamiJune 16th, 2008 at 2:34 pmOr, free cake. I’d be good with free cake.
Comment #16 by The WizJune 16th, 2008 at 3:08 pmNo m’am, I did not add anything. They sold it to me with the pretty fruit on top.
Comment #17 by JamiJune 16th, 2008 at 3:21 pmMy aunt is a very proper woman and was horrified by the idea of a potluck with casseroles. At my uncle’s funeral she arranged for a family dinner of prime rib, baked potatoes, salad, rolls, and cheesecake. It was awesome. I know it’s kind of morbid, but I’ve been to a lot of funerals during the last few years and I really enjoy the dinner afterwards because it gives you a chance to sit around and decompress and chat with family you haven’t seen for a long time.
Comment #18 by FoxyJJune 16th, 2008 at 3:29 pmWaaaaa! No Safeway in Toronto. D:
Comment #19 by Proud Daughter of EveJune 16th, 2008 at 4:17 pmJami - And here I was thinking you were so clever and domestic to add the berries.
FoxyJ - me too. I really like the dinner afterwards. I think it’s a good tradition.
Comment #20 by The WizJune 16th, 2008 at 6:04 pmThis is a strange post. And not at all cake-like.
Comment #21 by Heather O.June 16th, 2008 at 6:06 pmIs it… cheesecakey? Cause I love mascarpone cheese, but not so much on the cheesecake. Anyone?
Comment #22 by Tracy MJune 16th, 2008 at 6:21 pmTracy–Mine was like a super yummy sponge cake with fruit mixed in and a layer of cheesecake-like yum with fruit on top. The cheesecake portion was more like the sour cream yum on top of a good cheesecake than just plain cheesecake.
Wiz–I’ve been giving it some thought and I’m pretty sure that if you choose to linger you can get into the shows for free. I think I’m about ten years further along in the journey than you are, so I’ll let you know how it works out for me.
Comment #23 by JamiJune 16th, 2008 at 6:34 pmI’m not a cheesecak-y persion either, Tracy. It’s more marscapone that cheesecake.
Jami - looking forward to it.
Comment #24 by The WizJune 16th, 2008 at 6:36 pmThis is all very odd.
Comment #25 by Alison WonderlandJune 16th, 2008 at 8:44 pmAfter all that Costco cake we had last week we need a real dessert and this sounds great, so I’ve been poking around the recipe sites trying to find a recipe. No go. WAAAAAH!
I wish there was a good bakery around here. Until then, I’m it.
The closest thing online that wasn’t a regular cheesecake with a crumb bottom was a lemon layer cake with lemon curd and mascarpone. People are raving over it.
www.recipezaar.com/60490
Now I’ll have to keep my eyes open for mascarpone - - where do you buy it? Anyone know?
Comment #26 by ResearcherJune 17th, 2008 at 6:41 amI like cheesecake. I also like cake. I also like cheese. Pretty much, I like eating stuff.
And dude, if I can’t see musicals for free after I’m dead, then I’m just not going to die. Ever. I mean, I have to draw the line SOMEWHERE.
Comment #27 by SueJune 17th, 2008 at 7:37 amPeople serve cake at funerals?
Safeway is called Von’s in California.
Comment #28 by Susan MJune 17th, 2008 at 9:04 amAnd Vegas.
I don’t know that I’ve ever been to a funeral that didn’t have cake for dessert. And to be honest, I don’t think I’ve been to one without funeral potatoes. I think it would be so shocking I’d remember it.
Comment #29 by LindsayJune 17th, 2008 at 10:03 amI get to go to my grandfather’s funeral this weekend. Maybe I will go look for this cheesecake to do some comfort eating. It sounds tasty.
Comment #30 by kaduseyJune 17th, 2008 at 10:05 amSafeway is called Safeway in my part of California.
Comment #31 by JamiJune 17th, 2008 at 12:39 pmMy MIL still shivers when I call them funeral potatoes, get over it we’ll all be there sooner or later.
There is an amazing chocolate cheesecake here. Now wait, it’s not just chocolate cheesecake, it is a layer of devilish chocolate cake on top of a layer of cheesecake, all covered with fudge-like frosting. The last time I had it was a year ago and I still dream of it. (From a diner in our area). An amazing cake is worth its weight in gold and usually costs as much.
Comment #32 by jendoopJune 17th, 2008 at 1:28 pmSafeway is also called Safeway where I live in CA..but they did NOT have this cake. So fat lot of good it did me..
They also sell an amazing chocolate layer cake by the slice at my Safeway. And German Chocolate. Cake by the slice is a BAD idea for me…\
P.S. I LOVE Costco cake. It is my favorite, really.
Comment #33 by bekJune 17th, 2008 at 6:54 pmJendoop..there is a cake like that at a place in my area too, the resturant is called Max’s and the cake/cheesecake/ganash combo is TO DIE FOR.
Comment #34 by bekJune 17th, 2008 at 6:55 pmYUM, Costco cake.
Comment #35 by SueJune 17th, 2008 at 8:48 pm[…] So there you have it. I can’t do my part for the environment, because nobody can agree on what my part is. Any way you slice it, I’m probably doing something wrong, so I’m going to go eat some cake. […]
Pingback #36 by Mormon Mommy Wars » I Give UpOctober 3rd, 2008 at 8:13 pm[…] We are having the cake. Thanks again, Jami, for the pic. It’s lemony. I want to eat it, because, hey, TASTY, but diabetes says no. I say yes. I’ll probably end up taking a little extra insulin, and eating a little bit. (I like to pretend those diet tips that say “just have a bite or two, it’s more satifsying anyway” are right, even though I know with every fiber of my being that they’re lying). You should all eat some in honor of my husband, because he’s the greatest guy alive. And if you had eaten the meal he made last night, (and the leftovers today), you would know this, beyond the shadow of a doubt. […]
Pingback #37 by Mormon Mommy Wars » It Is My Husband’s Birthday, So I Am Talking About FoodJune 15th, 2009 at 5:27 pmWhat is wrong with costco cakes they are very good especially the chocolate one, Red Velvet and very delicious cheesecakes. However, Vons does have the Mascarpone cake with the berries on top blackberries, and strawberries and blackberries on the inside of the cake as well it is mmm good for about 13.00 it is great. Von make the best deserts
Comment #38 by SweettoothSeptember 18th, 2010 at 10:00 pm