By The Wiz
The following is a non-comprehensive list (you know, I’ve decided that I like lists) that I have created of various LIES I have been told over the years concerning motherhood. Feel free to add your own.
1. Keeping your baby awake during the day will make him sleep better at night. LIE! This only results in a grumpy, overtired baby, and a slightly schizophrenic mommy. Under NO circumstances should you do this. Let the kid sleep during the day. You’ll like him better.
2. Breastfeeding is pain-free. I believe this lie is perpetuated by men who like to look at nursing mother’s chests. The first time my daughter latched on correctly, I couldn’t breathe, I was in so much pain. It did get better, but there was always some pain with every initial latch. Ouch-a-rama. Please don’t lecture me on the benfits of breastfeeding. The benefits are still there, but there is a price attached.
3. Your body will bounce back completely after you give birth. Hmm…..maybe if you’re a movie star with plastic surgeons, personal trainers, and 3 nannies. But for the rest of us, the stretch marks will always be there as a badge of honor. And beware….the Incredible Shrinking Boobs is quite the magic trick that nature plays.
4. If you introduce your child to vegetables early and often, they will like them and not complain. Whoever said this never had children. That’s all I have to say about that. And it does NOT matter in what order you introduce each new food. They will always like fruits better, and chocolate even better than that.
5. Giving your child a pacifier is the worst thing you can ever do. Hey, if it gives you some quiet time when nothing else will, break out the binkies and buy them in bulk. Nobody goes to college with a binkie.
6. How old is your child? Well, then, that’s the size of clothing she wears. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
7. Your children aren’t listening to you. NOPE! The truth is, they’re listening more than you know, and understand more than you think. Talk about having to ‘watch your thoughts, words, and deeds.’ Most everything you do affects your child. Scary, but true.
8. Running errands with a toddler isn’t that hard.
WordPress database error: [Can't open file: 'wp_comments.MYI' (errno: 144)]
SELECT * FROM wp_comments WHERE comment_post_ID = '132' AND comment_approved = '1' ORDER BY comment_date