Yes, I read it.  Yes, I enjoyed it.  Yes, I had issues with it. If you want to chat with me about it, well then, by all means, continue.

Issue #1: Renesme.  Stupidest. Name. Ever.  I couldn’t get past it.  Every time it was mentioned, I just cringed. I’m sure she was the perfectest, beautifullest, bestest half vampire EVER, but still, I shuddered constantly.  I’ve written before how I’m a total name snob and absolutely hate the custom of making up names, and this one was the worst. I’m sorry, it’s such a weird Mormon thing to do, (Freakonomics will back me up on that) and I was really disappointed in Stephenie Meyer for pulling that trick.  It did make me wonder what her kids names are, though.  (If you know, don’t post it.  Her kids deserve some privacy). 

Issue #2: Ah, the convenience of it all.  Whew!  Good thing Bella happened to figure out how to use her shield right when she needed to.  Whew!  Alice just happened to find other half-vampires and bring them back right when SHE needed to. I would have liked the book to end with them not knowing exactly what will happen with the child-who-needs-a-new-name. After all, most mothers don’t get a window to the future when it comes to their children.

Let’s set up this HUGE fight scene and then, oh boy, we’re all such diplomatic vampires all of a sudden.  And seriously?  Jacob is not really a werewolf, but a shape-shifter that just happens to pick the shape that kills vampires? And Charlie is OK with this?  (Maybe it’s all just a marketing play and she wants all the “Team Werewolf” people to buy new T-shirts that say “Team Shape-Shifter”.)

Issue #3:  Length.  She needs an editor.  A good one.  I know that once you hit NYT best seller list, (not to mention blockbuster status) the editors back off and give the author a lot more power over what comes out in the final product.  But I felt like pulling out the red pen at times and making some major cuts.

Issue #4: Voice.  Apparently Jacob thinks exactly like Bella.  It was really difficult to remember that you were reading Jacob if you put down the book for a while and then picked it up, since their voices are pretty much exactly the same.  I know it can be hard for women to write men (we think they think just like we do) and I didn’t think the shift was a good one.

Issue #5: ME.  I had ALL these issues, and yet I read the whole thing cover to cover, and will probably read it again, and I might even recommend it (to an adult).  I wouldn’t really consider this teen fiction, although I know there’s a lot written for teens that’s WAY worse. I’m completely inconsistent.  What can I say? I wanted to know what happened next.  So sue me.

My cousin’s issue: (keep in mind this cousin has a pin that tells the world she is Edward Cullen’s flavor) Edward just wasn’t in it enough.

Let’s chat.