By The Wiz
I was a “gifted child”. I got to stay after school and attend special classes to learn extra things as part of the ”gifted and talented” program, so that PROVES it. Also I had glasses at a young age.
Well, because I was so gifted, and not gullible at all, when I would walk to school with my older sister and her friend, I believed this friend when she told me that the gardeners working on people’s yards liked to chase children with their leaf blowers and mangle their legs. I mean, I really believed. I had nightmares for weeks.
One day, when I was walking home from school alone, (don’t ask me why I was alone, it was a very unusual occurrence) I had to pass a gardener, and yes, he was working with a leaf blower. I can’t tell you the horror this presented in my little child brain. I assessed the situation, and crossed the street so I wouldn’t have to walk directly past this evil man with his evil machine, for at least I could walk on the sidewalk parallel to his, which would of course totally make me safer.
I knew it wasn’t MUCH safer, so I was walking slowly and staring at him, and I do believe I was shaking a little, not realizing that this would probably draw his attention. (GIFTED, remember?) Well, he DID noticed me, and he held up his leaf blower and made a funny face, trying to make me laugh. Yeah, it didn’t work. I screamed bloody murder and ran home as fast as I could, desperately hoping that he wouldn’t chase me, but pretty much assuming that my end was near. (I even remember thinking “I LIKE my legs!!”) He did NOT chase me. I did NOT die, nor were my legs mangled in any way. The gardener was confused. (I think. I never asked him.)
Moral: NEVER listen to your sister’s friends. Chances are very good they are saying something that will make your life miserable, because this is funny to them.
Moral #2: Gardeners do not wish to mangle children’s legs. I am of course guessing, because I haven’t done a scientific poll with the data and the statistics and the what-not, but I really think I’m right here. I am, after all, gifted.
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