I dreamed last night I was on a boat to heaven….(another musical reference, this one far less obscure. Another pretend thousand dollars to the first person who accurately names it.)

Actually, I dreamed last night that my DH left me. Not for any reason, really, just that he was tired of being married, and decided not to be married anymore. It was devastating. My kids would run over to his condo after school (becuase in my dream, there were condos on my street, and all my kids were school age). And they didn’t know what to do, and I didn’t know what to do, and my in-laws were in the dream and didn’t know what to do, and basically, it was just a horrible dream.

When I woke up, and realized it WAS a dream, I was so relieved I almost cried. I made my husband promise like five times before he went to work that he had no plans to leave me. I couldn’t even be mad at him for causing me all this pain, because it’s not like he did it on purpose. Or did he? Hmmmm………No.

Let me just say that I’m not one of those people who dream things and then have them come true. No, my psychicness (It’s a word! It is!) is only when I’m awake. And usually I don’t remember my dreams, or if I do, I can trace them back to stuff I had seen or heard recently. (You know, like reading about Nazi Germany is a sure way to get yourself into a concentration camp in your sleep. That kind of stuff.) And even though I’m fairly sure this dream is related to a TV show I saw the other day, it still upset me. I think I have a very happy marriage! I even said so in the dream! But it didn’t work, he still went to live in the Magically Appearing Condominiums.

Ever dream that your husband was having an affair and then stay mad at him for days? (Been there.) Ever dream that you gave birth to a baby only to wake up and wonder where it went? (Done that.) Come on, people, bring on the weird dream stories! Because everybody knows that sleep deprivation brings out the weirdest stuff when it comes to dreams. And since we’re all mothers, the sleep deprivation is a very real thing for us. Or at least used to be. And possibly will be again, because somehow most of us are stupid/noble (do those two words have the same root?) enough to try for a newborn again. We forget the nightmares, somehow.