By The Wiz
guest post by Sue, who blogs here.
My husband thinks it’s totally hilarious that I’m trying to recap Project Runway. I don’t know what his deal is. I mean, I’m TOTALLY KNOWN for my fashion sense and personal style. Oh. WAIT.
Here is what I know about fashion:
- Do not wear capris and knee socks unless you have no other choice.
- It’s good to wear something on the top, and then also, on the bottom.
- Nylons and sandals are usually wrong.
I don’t know what my husband is talking about, I’m totally qualified for this post.
Still, last night I instant messaged my good friend Azucar for help (since she has things like “outfits” and “jewelry” whereas I just have assorted pairs of jeans and t-shirts and a plastic Cars ring my son gave me off of his cupcake) and she spent an hour online with me live-blogging the show and hitting it OUT OF THE PARK with truly hilarious quips and comments. I was so excited to totally take the credit for her brilliance today, but this morning when I went to retrieve the chat transcript it was GONE. GONE GONE GONE.
So now I have to hurry and write something, and it must talk about fashion in a semi-intelligent way, and oh holy crow, the PRESSURE, the PRESSURE! (I think I might be forming a new fashion post related brain clot. If I die for fashion, I’m going to be SO TICKED OFF.)
Therefore, in the interest of preserving my brain, I give you: A bullet list, by Sue.
TODAY IS CLEARLY YOUR LUCKY DAY.
- My personal theme for the week was this: BURN THE JACKETS
- KENLEY. Kenley, Kenley, Kenley, Kenley. I wanted to like her, I really did, but tonight sealed the deal for me. She is a brat. Her total lack of self awareness was astonishing. Laughing on the runway, again. Her strategy is to ignore the judges? Tim doesn’t know what he’s talking about? HERETIC! BURN HER.
- P.S. I didn’t like her dress (the belt over the vest – ugh) and the giggling with her little mini-me of a client totally creeped me out.
- I love Korto, love her aesthetic, love her stuff, but - this is another outfit I didn’t get. The dress was cute, but I thought it was way too short for work and I didn’t understand the jacket. It was very well made, but seemed out of proportion to the dress. I thought it made her client’s body look strange. Luckily for Korto, the judges (and Azucar) disagreed with me.
- You guys. I LOVED SUEDE’S OUTFIT. The shiny ribbon on the pockets was just to DIE for. And that print! I wanted to see more, more, more! It was so current, so trendy, so now! LOVED IT!
- O.k., even I’M not that fashion blind. As Azucar said last night: “This is personally offensive to me. PERSONALLY OFFENSIVE.” I love it when the outfit is so awful that it renders Nina speechless. “I have a lot of problems with the jacket. That’s just the tip of the iceberg. I will say no more.” Ooooooh, BURN.
- Oh Joe. I knew Joe was gone way before the runway. They totally gave him the loser edit. Anytime a contestant you’ve barely seen before starts talking about his family, you know they’re going home. And - oh dear. Two words: Pocket Square. Jerell was exactly right when they were leaving the workshop that first night, “Come on, Joe. You can work on Nancy Reagan tomorrow.” It was definitely his time to go.
- Leanne bugs me. I know she’s usually a very good designer, but something about her attitude bothers me. She’s always so ticked when she doesn’t win, and she’s always looking around with a very school-teacherish air of disapproval. I kind of want to hide her scissors, just to mess with her. Her saving grace is that she’s usually a very smart and talented designer. Not this week though. I thought her outfit was awful. Not only was it inappropriate for the job, it made her client look like a big old square. If she was teaching football, I could see it, otherwise? No. Leanne had one of the cutest girls, and she put her in something frumpy and boxy and ugly. FAIL.
- I liked Jerell’s outfit. The jacket, in a nice change of events from the rest of the night, totally made the outfit work. We must not be distracted by his outfit, however. We must focus on the important issue: his hat. He was photographed for Elle wearing that hat. Why? Why? Why? He looked like a crazed extra from a high school production of Midsummer Night’s Dream. I was mystified, until I checked my email and read this from Tim: “By the way, the chapeau that Jerell wore for the judging had been intended for Caitlin (his client). Had she worn it, do you believe that the outcome would have been different?” Why yes. YES I DO.
- OK, fine, Tim didn’t email me, that’s from his blog.
That’s it, my fellow PR freaks. I can’t wait for next week. Kenley is getting a well deserved smack-down. BRING IT ON.
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