By Heather O.
My sister in law called the other day. We were discussing Christmas plans, and since, you know, the economy is collapsing at our feet, and airline travel totally sucks, we were trying to think of alternate scenarios that did NOT involve me and my dearest eternal companion lugging 2 children and a bazillion pieces of luggage burstin’ with swag across the country on crowded and quickly going bankrupt so they give you jack-squat airlines. She suggested that we all buy our own meal at a fancy restaurant, and have Grandma babysit all the kids.
I was totally on board. (And seriously, y’all should be jealous of my fantastic SIL who has figured out a way to simplify Christmas, the holiday that gives my DH a migraine 3 months in advance.) “This way”, I said, “We can talk about stuff without the kids around, and show that we have thoughts on something besides diapers!”
She was quiet for a second and said, jokingly, “Well, I don’t, but you go ahead and discuss whatever you are thinking about!”
We laughed, but there was a kernal of truth in what she was saying. Mothers only have thoughts on diapers, because diapers are pretty dang important. Diapers are what needs to be done.
One of my favorite books is Barbara Kingsolver’s “The Poisonwood Bible”. It’s a story of a missionary’s family tumultous experience trying to convert the people of the Congo during a tumultuous political time. There are many chapters told from differing viewpoints, which, as any body who has read “Breaking Dawn” knows, is a tough thing to pull off well. Kingsolver does it beautifully, though, and there are a couple of haunting chapters from the viewpoint of the mother, who is desperately just trying to keep her family of 4 girls alive. Her family knows nothing of her sacrifices, of the lengths she has to go through, just to furnish the most basic necessities, until she herself falls ill to malaria. She also talks about how she was so completely unaware of what was happening in Africa at the time, ignorant to he dramatic events playing out on the world stage.
She was not ignorant of these events because she was stupid. She was ignorant because she was living in isolation, and because they ultimately meant little to her. Her primary focus was on keeping her family alive.
We read this in bookgroup, and an older woman, a grandmother, said that she knows how that feels. Where was she in the 60s, when the world was supposedly on fire? She was at home, baking her bread, keeping her family alive, dealing with a family bigger than her husband’s salary, paying off school loans, doing what needed to be done to get through the day.
We are facing some serious stuff in our country today. Serious stuff that has even my husband, the world’s biggest optimist, freaking out. Some day, I wonder if my children will ask me what I was doing during the economic crises of 2008, when the dow dipped however hundreds of points, and we teetered on the edge of what, according to Sarah Palin, could be the next Great Depression.
I’ll tell them that I woke up, helped my son with his homework before school, took him to piano, made bread from the flour I have stored over the years, took a nap, went grocery shopping, cleaned the house, and did the laundry. Not as dramatic as needing to travel 5 miles to fetch a pail of water, or take quanine to avoid contracting malaria, but still, I am paying attention to the necessities of life.
It’s what mothers do. Even when the dow is crashing. Even when democrats and republicans play with our tax dollars and decide our country’s economic fate. A mother still has to make sure her kid has diapers. Even when the world is on fire.




I like your post a lot (and I LOVE The Poisonwood Bible)…but I would prefer being a little bit ignorant right now. I think that is the problem/blessing with having so much information available to us now…..it just takes a couple of clicks on your laptop and you know exactly what is going on. Plus, you still have to keep your family going.
Yesterday I was mostly at home, doing lots of mundane things like cleaning house and cooking….and meanwhile absolutely freaking out that the bailout hadn’t passed and the markets were in a freefall. I felt very isolated and scared, to be honest, to be alone with my kids for the day, just milling all the possible implications of yesterday’s events in my head.
We went for a long hike and I felt a little better.
Comment #1 by Jen GuzmanSeptember 30th, 2008 at 10:26 amFunny enough, just yesterday I asked my mother whether it also felt like the sky was falling in Oct. 1987 (when, as I interestingly learned for a point of comparison, the dow lost 22% in one day as opposed to yesterday’s 7%). She said that she doesn’t really remember as we had just moved back to the US (from the Middle East) that August and she was focused on getting the house in order and making sure her kids were adjusting to the culture shock. She was so focused on her family that she just doesn’t remember what the “outside world” was like.
Comment #2 by JELSeptember 30th, 2008 at 10:30 amMeanwhile, for those of us who don’t have any food storage…
I thought of a brilliant idea yesterday, and I wish I had thought if it when I got married - but instead of having a reception where everyone brings you gifts, have them bring food storage stuff instead. It really kind of bites when you move out of your fully food storaged family’s house and suddenly the 12 pack of Ramen you bought is your only food storage.
That’s what’s in my head right now. Diapers we can do without. Food? Not so much.
Comment #3 by KrisSeptember 30th, 2008 at 10:46 amAmen. Amen. AMEN! This is how I feel. Totally. I feel kind of dumb sometimes because I have NO IDEA what the issues are today, beyond the marriage ammendment coming up in our state. And that is only because the First Presidency has told our local leaders to talk about it at church and get everyone informed and involved. (Seriously. The family is that threatened.)
I am really trying to learn about the candidates and issues this time around, but there really is only so much time to do that between changing diapers, making bread or cookies for the kids, helping with homework, kissing booboos…you know, being a mommy. And I relaly don’t even turn on the news anymore because I don’t want the kids to hear all the junk going on in the world. So I don’t hear/watch the info.
So, I’m just blissfully loving my kids. And canning and storing like mad in case the world falls apart around us. Oh, and paying my tithing, because if the world does catch fire, I could really use the fire insurance.
(I LOVED the Poisonwoood Bible, too. It is a must read for everyone.)
Comment #4 by AubreySeptember 30th, 2008 at 10:56 amI wish I could say I was oblivious. I pretty much was until last night when my dh suggested that perhaps he should suspend his job-hunting activities because it might not be a great idea to try to move (possibly across the country) when the economy is so unstable.
All of a sudden something which had seemed to not impact us that much is now having a huge impact on my personal life. I’ve spent the past 4-5 months preparing emotionally (and, somewhat, physically as well) for a likely move, and now need to turn that all around and prepare for the possibility of not moving after all.
Comment #5 by eljeeSeptember 30th, 2008 at 11:08 amLove the post. I remember that on 9/11 I objected to the library closing at noon. I didn’t want to sit around for four hours waiting for the bus home; I wanted to work. All I could think of was the women’s admonitions to each other during World Wars I and II that the way to defeat whatever was trying to destroy you was to keep on keeping on.
When you can do something real toward resolving crises beyond your front gate, do it. But until then, your post is where it has always been, taking care of the things that need to be done where you are the only one who can do them. When that means diapers, then diapers matter.
Comment #6 by Ardis E. ParshallSeptember 30th, 2008 at 11:10 amLove the simplifying Christmas idea. But I am wondering if Grandma would like to go too? Maybe get a sitter for all the grandkids. My two teenagers could take ‘em. Unless of course she is the kind of Grandmother who would much rather be with the kiddos.
Comment #7 by momof8September 30th, 2008 at 11:16 amReally, I’m not scared about the Bailout failing. It’s not because I’m so prepared, but I feel a little mislead by our government recently, so I don’t listen to what everyone has to say. (First we had to pass the Patriot Act after 9-11, then they positively had weapons of mass destruction, now our economy is going to collapse. It might become a self fulfilled prophecy, more than something that inevitably will happen. I also think the banks could have done more to help the families they turned out to the cold, because they gave the loans and are responsible, just as much as the families who accepted the loans.)
I may be playing ignorance is bliss, but I also know that this may be the beginning of a very difficult time, and the best thing we can do is be wise and not panic. What use am I if I’m worrying about something that may happen, rather then what is going on in my own home and preparing my family the best I can.
I liked this post because it’s exactly how I feel. I’m living my life and trying to be the best parent I can. Granted, we do have steady employment and a home, but time will tell if these will be taken away from us because of the economy going bad or for other unrelated reasons.
Comment #8 by LaceySeptember 30th, 2008 at 11:22 amI have a framed poster in my entry way from WWII. It was in the subways of London during the blitzkreig, and it says “Keep Calm and Carry On”. It’s my mantra these days.
I’m purposely staying a little bit ignorant of what’s happening, because after almost 10 months of unemployment, I cannot bear it. If having diapers is my focus, then that’s where it’s at.
The Poisonwood Bible is high on my list of favorite books.
Comment #9 by Tracy MSeptember 30th, 2008 at 11:25 amHa, I had to laugh at this, since the NAME of my blog is “Diapers and Divinity”; there truly are just mom jobs that will be day-in, day-out whether we are rich or poor, at war or in peace. Great points.
Comment #10 by Steph @ Diapers and DivinitySeptember 30th, 2008 at 11:32 amGreat post! I agree. In fact, I don’t have much to add, so I won’t.
Comment #11 by cherylSeptember 30th, 2008 at 11:41 amOk, I’m usually a silent lurker here, but I just read the Poisonwood Bible this weekend and had the same thoughts yesterday when I heard what was happening in the “outside world.”
On 9/11, I was in college and my first class of the day was psychology. We talked about “flash-bulb memory”- the way that we all remember where we were that day when we heard what was going on. So now whenever something “big” happens, I find myself wondering, is this what I’m going to remember? That I hosted playgroup, made mac and cheese for lunch, and folded the laundry? Life goes on.
Comment #12 by TaraSeptember 30th, 2008 at 11:48 amI hadn’t thought of it like that before. I read The Poisonwood Bible as a senior, and I absolutely loved it. I wish I had made the connections between the book and now before this moment. It made everything come into view!
Comment #13 by KayceSeptember 30th, 2008 at 12:23 pmLove Poisonwood Bible. Hate political/economic/spiritual turmoil. I think that many times we, as mothers, focus on what finally ends up being the bigger picture, not the smaller picture. I like to get myself all riled up about worries in the larger world, but when our homes are at peace (in those rare five minutes a week), we really are creating something beautiful in the middle of chaos. It’s not easy, not even a little bit, but it is rewarding.
Comment #14 by KerriSeptember 30th, 2008 at 12:49 pmI think honestly we’ve been in a difficult time since 9/11 but we covered it all up with unwise mortgages, Credit card debt out the ying yang and a trillion+ federal deficit.
Does what’s going on make me a bit nervous. Well considering my DH is going to lose his contract job at the end of October yes. Plain and simple When Rich people lose money they lay off the people under them, because they want to stay rich.
And does the fact that our only real job prospect would have us move to Michigan, the mecca of recession. Um yes, but I also know my DH can not keep going on without a job or without a job where they treat him like a sub human (since he’s on a contract).
I watched a program yesterday and the person said the most important thing you can do right now, is protect your credit rating. You 401K may be down in the crapper, your home may be worth less but whatever you do don’t let your credit rating suffer. We have a great Credit Rating, so wahoo something is going our way *rolling eyes*
Comment #15 by SarahSeptember 30th, 2008 at 12:51 pmIt makes my feeling the past month that my family needs to start seriously working on our food storage and our savings that much more relevant. And while we’re building up what we can in case of disaster, there’s still life to be lived in the meantime. There’s always diapers and laundry and dishes and food to fix, and no matter what happens to the economy, I will still have my job as a mother. I like to stay at least somewhat informed for now, though, as it’s helping motivate me to get prepared.
Comment #16 by kaduseySeptember 30th, 2008 at 1:15 pmI didn’t have time to read through the other comments, but I seriously am in doubt about how bad the economy is. I personally don’t know anyone who has lost their job. My gas prices aren’t that bad. My food prices are a little higher, but that’s inflation folks… I’m really getting tired of the media flashing the latest sign of the “horrible state of affairs” our country is in. Yes, the Dow is dropping. But that’s just because people are watching the news and seeing that “things are horrible”. Yes, the housing market is not what it should be, but mortgage rates aren’t even that bad right now and if I hadn’t just bought a house last year, I would seriously be looking into real estate as an investment. The people that are losing their houses knew back when they got those adjustable rate mortgages that they shouldn’t be doing that. I’m sorry, but that’s their own faults. They should have known better… Besides, the housing market is cyclical (like most things). Ask any realtor that has been around for more than 10 minutes and they will tell you that ‘yeah, it’s bad, but it will pick up’. It’s not the end of the world. People need to chill out and stop freaking out. Go about your business….
Comment #17 by JLoSeptember 30th, 2008 at 1:43 pmAmen
Comment #18 by jessawhySeptember 30th, 2008 at 1:58 pmI posted on the dow drop at my family blog, and it was funny b/c I had spent the entire day doing mommy stuff, so I didn’t know what happened until I got a phone call.
Diapers for 2 kids, all day, all night.
It’s my life.
Great post.
LOVED the Poisonwood Bible. Barbara Kingsolver really is a seriously talented writer.
As for the future, I just wrote a post about my concerns about the current crisis. I’m concerned like anyone else, but I also think that if we were to look back in history, like say, the last 100 years, we would feel optimism for the future. My great-grandfather lost every penny he owned in a bank failure during the depression. Have I lost every penny I have? Nope. And his family survived and thrived My dad nearly lost his business in 1987 and was left with horrendous debt and 8 daughters to feed. We never went without food or clothing. 8 years later, he sent me off to college. So I think it is important to have perspective that no matter what happens, things may be really hard, but we’re all going to get through it. And maybe we’ll even learn something while we’re at it.
And Heather O., I think this is one of the best pieces you’ve ever written. Thanks for writing today.
Comment #19 by TiffanySeptember 30th, 2008 at 2:00 pmI’m very politically-minded (probably because I have the tendency to take everything very seriously in the first place); and I was in tears about this last week, especially since - in our hamster cube apartment - we’ve only been able to do minimal food storage.
However, I was giving it a lot of thought this weekend, and fortunately, we had a Fast Sunday - and as I put more effort (maybe desperation?) into my fast, the turmoil ceased. I still don’t know what could happen a year, a month, or a week from now, (and I’m still mentally rationing our food & gas and planning how to refashion and swap clothes), but the peace that has come from going back to eternally-significant principles has been an incredibly real, powerful “tender mercy.”
It occurs to me that the eternal stuff is what really constitutes our daily lives.
Love Lacey’s & Kerri’s thoughts, too - worrying about all this stuff can make us useless, and making our homes a refuge of peace is really creating something beautiful.
Comment #20 by kannieSeptember 30th, 2008 at 2:03 pmI’ve had The Poisonwood Bible sitting on my shelf for a couple weeks and keep trying to get to it, but when we had company two weeks in a row and I missed the book club discussion for the book, I didn’t know whether to still try to read it. I’ve heard mixed reviews, so I’m glad to hear that you like it so much. Maybe I will read it after all.
And yes, I’m scared silly about our economy right now and our futures, but then I remember how President Packer says in almost every talk he ever gives that while the world is a scary place, especially to raise children in, we don’t have to fear the future as long as we’re following the Spirit and the counself of our leaders. That always makes me feel so much better. I’m SO looking forward to General Conference this weekend, but I don’t think we’ll hear anything different than we’ve already been told: to be prepared and just keep on keeping on. Thanks for the great reminder to do just that.
Comment #21 by StarababaSeptember 30th, 2008 at 2:12 pmI have to admit that I have been wondering how people are “making” it. We live in a community that is pretty much dependent upon the military. What would happen if the military pulled out? My Hubby is a AF retiree & now is employed by the govt. We would be okay but I’m not certain about everyone else.
Somewhat along those lines my old neighbor had a “breakdown” after 9/11. She didn’t even have know anyone (maybe acquaintances) who was in any way involved in anything during that time. Towards that I have to say that I also agree w/ Lacey & Kerri & also Kannie.
That’s my thoughts & I’m stickin to it!
Comment #22 by Sues2u2September 30th, 2008 at 2:21 pmLoved this post, H.
I totally get what you are saying, and thanks for saying it so beautifully.
Poisonwood bible is my fave book of all time. It’s one of those that I have to read every few years…every time something major in my life changes (new baby, new job, new “big” calling even) and the way I view that book changes with each reading. Not saying it’s my bible or anything like that, but it is for sure one of the best modern pieces of *real* literature out there. Even if you don’t like the book, it’s still a must read, in my humble opinion.
This is one of those times in my life where I feel like the world is on the high end of the teeter-totter, and I’m right there with it, just wondering when it will go down to the bottom, and how hard or soft the fall will be.
Comment #23 by mellocelloSeptember 30th, 2008 at 2:27 pmI’ve just requested The Poisonwood Bible from my local library.
I’m really looking forward to reading it at this time of turmoil.
Comment #24 by LaceySeptember 30th, 2008 at 3:38 pmI hadn’t thought of Poisonwood in those terms. (That book has SO MANY levels, it’s just amazing.) Thanks for this post.
Comment #25 by AnnetteSeptember 30th, 2008 at 4:20 pmLoved the post, Heather.
Comment #26 by Joy TOctober 1st, 2008 at 5:29 amOkay. Maybe it’s my age….
But perhaps you get couple of great babysitters and then invite Grandma to go out with you.
I’m just thinkin’ outloud.
Comment #27 by Tammy and ParkerOctober 1st, 2008 at 10:18 amWe did a Christmas dinner with my husbands brothers and wives and the kids and didn’t invite the grandparents. It would have been fine if someone didn’t open their pie hole and let the in-laws know about it. The kids don’t get to have fun when Grandpa is there, so we didn’t invite them. There is another party where everyone is together, so at the time it didn’t see like a big deal.
When Grandma and Grandpa found out, they were very mad. So I’d find out if Grandma wants to come to the dinner, or if she wants to watch the kids. Or plan two evenings and make everyone happy.
Comment #28 by Lindsay1138October 1st, 2008 at 12:13 pmI’ve been wanting to plug my ears and go, “La! La! La!” for the last several days because of the stress it makes me feel. Instead I’ve been listening to Glenn Beck and feeling my blood pressure rise. Now you’ve given me something else to call it besides denial, and you have NO idea how happy I am about that! Nice!
Comment #29 by kristyOctober 1st, 2008 at 12:24 pm[…] Changing diapers while the Dow falls. […]
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