By The Wiz
OK - so I have to admit - I totally hate Halloween. I hate finding costumes, I hate the sugar buzz that goes on forever, I hate the celebration of all things witchy, ghost-like, and generally spooky. I am not at all convinced that it’s totally harmless. And don’t even get me started on trick-or-treating, and the trauma it causes my dog to have the doorbell ring over and over all night long. Plus, the safety issues involved have a lot of people (including me) cutting down on the trick-or-treating. We only go to houses of people we know, and then we end up driving around to go to houses of various relatives and ward members, and something is just fundamentally wrong with driving around to trick-or-treat. Truly, I wish we could just cancel the whole thing.
That being said, my children love Halloween. They like being princesses, they love the sugar, and pretty much look forward to it for months. I haven’t passed on my hatred of the “holiday” to them, at least not yet. Maybe when they get older and my rule of no scary/immodest costumes starts to really sink in, maybe then they’ll resent me a little. One can only hope.
But last night, everyone in my neighborhood (we live on a circle) got together to carve pumpkins in my friend’s garage. They served pumpkin bars and cider, had various Halloween songs playing (including “Flying Purple People Eater” of all things)and they had a bunch of patterns for Jack-O-Lantern carving. I am glad they do this every year, because otherwise it would be a hard thing to get me to carve a pumpkin. I always drag my feet, because, well, I hate doing it, because it’s all a part of Halloween strangeness. I didn’t even carve. I watched my toddler, chatted with my neighbors, and occasionally helped my daughters as they worked their little hearts out trying to get the mouth just right. And I had to admit, it was pretty sweet to watch them work, and just a fun time in general.
If only that was all Halloween was, just hanging out with neighbors and mutilating pumpkins. If only we didn’t have to start avoiding spooky shows that appear on television all of a sudden. If only we didn’t have little boys dressed as grim reapers show up at our house. If only there weren’t slutty costumes for adult women in all the windows, because apparently, to really be a good sport at Halloween, women have to wear very little clothing. If only there wasn’t a built-in excuse to vandalize people’s houses with eggs and to smash those pumpkins so lovingly carved by little hands. If only…..
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