By Heather O.
Last year I blogged about going to the store the day before Thanksgiving. I didn’t learn my lesson. I did it again today.
The spice aisle was still packed.
For a variety of reasons, I was feeling grumpy and out of sorts. I had my baby with me, and she was dressed in a pink, ruffly shirt that had a kitten on it, and pink pants with that same kitten printed in a smaller pattern. Pink and white sneakers finished off the outfit. I did have a pink bow for her in the car, and it is truly a bow you can see from space. When she wore it last Sunday, somebody told me it looked like she was wearing a satellite dish. One man said that my bows remind him of the Munchkins from the Wizard of Oz, you konw, the ones that pop up out of the bushes with big funky things on their heads. Still another mom said that having a bow you can see from space is rather helpful, because I’ll never lose my daughter in the gym amongst the other little girls. It’s like a little radar, she said,
But I didn’t put the bow on because I figured she looked enough like a girl. Besides, she likes to rip off her bows and huck them, and I wasn’t in the mood to hunt for bows among the bell peppers. (It’s like tiptoeing through the tulips. Only not.)
I know I haven’t posted pictures of my kids, so you don’t really know what my daughter looks like. Well, I’ll tell you. She’s bald. Okay, not completely bald. She kind of has this dandelion fly away mullet look goin’ on.
I’ll just say it. It’s not that cute.
Hence, the bows. She does have pretty blue eyes though, and a charming little smile, and since she had a good nap and a good lunch before we hit the store, she was in a particularly chirpy mood. She was grinning at people left and right, and people were coming up to talk to my little cherub, giggling at her as she giggles back. I was parked by the pomegranates when an older gentleman came up and said, “Hey, that’s a cute baby!”
“Thanks,” I said.
“Yeah, he’s dressed in all pink, but it looks like a boy. Is it a boy?”
I looked at him and said, “No, she’s a girl.”
He continued, in what I thought was an abnormally loud voice, “Well, she’s got a pink shirt, and those pink pants, and those pink shoes, but she still looks like a boy. How ya doin’ little buddy?” and he cooed at my little girl dressed in pink.
Most days, I would have just shrugged and walked away. Most days, I would have just smiled and thanked him again and picked up my pomegranates and moved on.
This day was not most days.
“Yes”, I answered back. “Yes, she looks like a boy because she’s bald. Lots of babies are bald. That’s why I dressed her in all pink. So that everybody would know that she is actually a girl. Because girls wear pink. It’s like a little signal.”
Undeterred, the man just happily replied, “Well, she looks just like my grandson.” And he continued to relate stories about his new grandson, his walking habits, his eating habits, and his growth curve.
At this point, I did pick up my pomegranates and said, “Well, thanks. Happy Thanksgiving!” The man waggled his fingers at my darling daugther as I deposited the fruit into my basket and moved on to the stuffing.
I happened to be on the phone with my dh at the time of this encounter, so he heard the whole thing. As I walked away, he said in my ear:
“Bet you wished you had that bow now, huh.”
Yes. I will never leave home without it again.
Happy Thanksgiving, everybody. I’m going online to buy some more bows.




Bows, pink, dresses…some people will never get it. My DD was born with hair and looked and derssed like a little girl, but people STILL insisted she was a boy. Uh, hello? I think I know my kid is a girl!
Comment #1 by flip flop mamaNovember 26th, 2008 at 5:16 pmYou gotta pierce those little girl’s ears. The only answer to your dilemma is unnecessary pain inflicted upon your daughter in the name of fashion. That’s all there is to it. It worked for Rachel on Friends, it will work for you too!!
Comment #2 by mellocelloNovember 26th, 2008 at 5:50 pmI was a given an adorable outfit for my daughter - navy blue, but loaded with ribbons, bows and lace. I thought it looked very feminine in spite of the color. Nope. Everyone who saw her ignored the frills and went straight for the blue. I got tired of explaining that she was really a girl - lace? See the lace? Do you really think I’d put my little boy in white lace and red bows? - and retired the outfit for good.
Comment #3 by JenniferNovember 26th, 2008 at 6:00 pmYeah, Jennifer, I have an outfit like that, and I love it. Whenever she wears it, I excuse the people telling me what a cute little boy I have, because hey, yeah, she’s wearing blue. But when it’s pink, it sort of blows my mind.
Comment #4 by Heather O.November 26th, 2008 at 6:10 pmWe got that with our daughter, but her cue ball head was covered in a white eyelet bonnet. “What a cute little boy.”
Um, what?
;-D
Comment #5 by ellenNovember 26th, 2008 at 6:16 pmSo I’m trying to remember if either of our boys ever got mistaken for girls, and I’m pretty sure it never happened. Baby girl however, was referred to as a “he” once the first time we took her to church — but she was wearing a turquoise dress, the bottom, skirt part of which was covered by a blanket (though a pink one). So maybe I can excuse that one…? But just barely.
I think Heather, that you should have stripprd her down, shown the nice ol’ man her goods, and asked “Does this look like a twig and berries to you?” just to see what he’d do. Next time, okay?
Comment #6 by teresaNovember 26th, 2008 at 6:26 pmBeing old gives you a license to say what ever crazy thing you want. I can hardly wait until I’m old!
Comment #7 by apple pieNovember 26th, 2008 at 7:08 pmBeanie would confuse old folks every day at the store.
I’ve seen that bow, and it IS like a satellite dish!- a cute dish, but yeah, when H. says it’s big, she means it.
Comment #8 by Tracy MNovember 26th, 2008 at 7:16 pmOnce I was in a hurry and needed to laundry and dressed her in a pink shirt that had the face of a little girl and the phrase, “I am a Child of God” on it with blue pants. We ended up running an errand and someone said, “I can’t tell if she’s a boy or a girl because she’s wearing blue.” I almost said, “Yes, I routinely dress my little boy in pink girl shirts.”
We also get the same thing a lot when she is wearing purple outfits with all kind of cute little flower designs.
But while wearing head to toe pink? That is a new low, I think.
Comment #9 by KatieNovember 26th, 2008 at 7:21 pmMy oldest was totally bald and was mistaken for a boy ALL the time, no matter what she was wearing. The unfair part? My youngest (a boy) was born with gorgeous blond curls. From day one- what a beautiful little girl you have. Being my youngest, I endured for 2 years before cutting them off. I couldn’t win either way (and curse fate that they couldn’t have flipped genes so I could keep the curls forever)
Comment #10 by latermomNovember 26th, 2008 at 7:34 pmOut of my 3 girls, two had tons of hair and one well not so much. I got this with all of them, whether head to toe pink, ribbons bows, it did not mater. I also got it in the grocery store with my niece-no hair but pink and purple striped outfit.
Comment #11 by CassiBNovember 26th, 2008 at 7:38 pmOh Tracy, you haven’t seen my NEW pink bow. It’s, like, TEXAS big. I love it.
Comment #12 by Heather O.November 26th, 2008 at 8:05 pmNope. He would have said, “He’s wearing a bow, but he still looks like a boy. Hey there, buddy!”
Comment #13 by LibbyNovember 26th, 2008 at 8:56 pmI hate when that happens. The same thing continually happened with my daughter.
Comment #14 by SandySNovember 26th, 2008 at 9:16 pmShe’d never keep bows on either, so I never put them on her, but I did make a point to put her in “girly” clothing.
Last Christmas, in the airport, an older couple commented on how cute “he” was.
Hmm…kinda obvious the gender when it says PRINCESS plastered across her top, pink pants, flowery booties and a butterfly print umbrella stroller.
Yay for bald babies!
I have the opposite problem, but kind of our own fault. My 8 year old son likes to wear his hair long. It’s almost to his shoulders at this point, blond and just a touch curly/wavy at the ends. But, he’s usually dressed in black, with skulls somewhere on his apparel. He looks like a boy, carries himself like a boy and dresses himself like a boy. I get strangers saying things about my “girls” all the time. That’s usually when I say to the boy “you should get a trim.” He doesn’t care but it still baffles me that anyone could look at the child and say “girl” despite his lovely hair.
Comment #15 by D.November 26th, 2008 at 11:07 pmPiercing the ears of toddler girls doesn’t always work. My nieces (2 years apart) were both quite bald as babies. My sister had their ears pierced before they turned 1 because she got so tired of all the boy comments they each received, no matter what they were wearing - pink! lace! frills! The pierced ears didn’t change the reactions. Can you imagine 4+ years of these inane comments?!? However, when my two nieces finally got enough hair, they had tight Shirley Temple type curls that lasted for years. Adorable!
Heather, I think all you can do is grit your teeth and endure the silly responses from people. And continue to dress your daughter in pink and bows. However, snippy comments in return also have their “time and place!”
Comment #16 by Michelle AMNovember 26th, 2008 at 11:17 pmHa ha ha! He must have been so excited to have a grandson that it didn’t matter- every baby reminded him of the grandson.
We have a little girl after 3 boys and she will NOT keep any girlie hair stuff in her hair! As soon as I stopped glueing it on her head (because she had no hair) and started clipping them into her whisps. OUT they come almost immediately after. It’s so frusturating! My one girl and the best I can do is dress her in pink.
I ran into a highschool friend a while back and he had a baby with him. Kind of longish, redish curls. Very cute with a sweater on that looked boy, but so that you couldn’t be sure. Red, blue, brown, stripes type of thing. I felt terrible that I couldn’t tell. Boy or girl. Hate that! Cute baby, really, but is it a boy or girl. You feel like an idiot.
Comment #17 by AmberNovember 27th, 2008 at 7:13 amI get this all the time with my two girls, so I felt so bad the other day when I did it to someone else! To be fair, the baby was dressed in blue and orange (that screams boy!) but the carseat was pink. I looked at the clothes and then opened my mouth and said boy right as my eyes were getting to the pink carseat. I realized my mistake and apologized and the mom and I had a good laugh over how it happens all the time to both of our bald babies.
Comment #18 by StarababaNovember 27th, 2008 at 8:57 amI have the same problem with my daughter. Except we even had her ears pierced and people would still think she was a he. I agree with teresa. Strip her down next time.
Comment #19 by Erin MarieNovember 27th, 2008 at 10:30 amNot to be a contrary voice, but I work for a Continuous Care Retirement Community, and some old people are stuck living in the distant past. They see their kids and grandkids in everyone - and often their wives and husbands whom they no longer remember as they actually are. It can be hard on a spouse to watch the (wo)man to whom they’ve been married for 50 years trying to kiss a younger (wo)man because that spouse thinks that (wo)man is their husband or wife - and mistaking a girl for a boy is a pretty minor issue in the world I currently inhabit.
So, God bless that old man. I’m glad you didn’t say anything else. You and your daughter gave him a moment of joy - and sometimes that’s all that the elderly have left in their lives.
With that, HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!
Comment #20 by RayNovember 27th, 2008 at 10:30 amThat is precisely why I pierced The Girl’s ears at 3 months old…I was sick of having to dress her all in pink all the time so people would know she was a girl…once the earrings went in, people never asked again.
Comment #21 by fluffychickyNovember 27th, 2008 at 11:16 amMy mom had twins. A boy and a girl. She left the hospital with each dressed in appropriate attire. Still she got asked the sex, and then, as if that wasn’t enough, they asked if they were identical. Identical twin boy and girl, how does that work?
People are dumb, so happy you said something to the old fart!
Comment #22 by SunshineNovember 27th, 2008 at 12:45 pmPeople making assumptions based on the hair just makes my blood boil. My son has beautiful blond curly hair and he is mistaken for a girl more often than not despite the very boyish clothes he has. Curly hair is not gender specific. Neither is baldness. People should stop making assumptions based on stupid things like that.
Comment #23 by FirebyrdNovember 27th, 2008 at 11:51 pmI have a set of boy/girl twins. I also got the “Are they identical?” question more than once. I thought it was a completely stupid question but never considered altering my children (ear piercing, overly pink clothing, etc) to elicit a more appropriate response from the public. I agree with Ray (comment #20)…Let the old guy enjoy his moment of happiness. Your mistaken daughter is not harmed and it is possible your indulgence could brighten an otherwise dreary existence.
Comment #24 by SandyNovember 28th, 2008 at 9:11 amI suppose it is good to be nice, but just once wouldn’t it feel good to just kick someone in the shins?
Comment #25 by momof8November 28th, 2008 at 6:07 pmBe honest, here—little babies are pretty androgynous. It doesn’t bother me in the least if someone mistakes my kid for the wrong gender. Especially since pink does not necessarily equal girl any more. Give people a break and be grateful they’re friendly and kind as opposed to grouchy and rude. It’s better not to make people afraid to talk to you because they’re nervous they might guess wrongly.
Comment #26 by SilverRainNovember 29th, 2008 at 3:03 pmI got this ALL THE TIME with my little girl. When she turned 18 months was about the time that she could finally wear blue without boy comments. I could seriously have her in pink from head to toe and still get comments about my little “boy”. “Hey, little guy.” “Hey, buddy.” I couldn’t win! Now I have a newborn girl, and I’m about to unveil her soon…I’m sure I have many more months of the same annoying situation.
The thing is, I love blue, but now I feel like I have to dress my littlest in pink all the time, and I would rather not!
Comment #27 by KerNovember 29th, 2008 at 8:25 pm