By Melissa Mc
The request seemed simple enough, “Are you willing to sit with a young girl in the hospital for a few hours for one or more days during her stay? They need volunteers beginning ASAP to sign up for shifts to help ensure this little girl is watched adequately while in the hospital over the next week or so. You will not need to provide any hands-on care, but just sitting in the room to watch over her.”![]()
This was the email I received last Thursday. It’s from a group in my home state that helps the State’s foster care system with volunteers for foster children in need. The 8 month old baby in need had been removed from her family after a head injury. She was now in foster care with a family who, because of their out of town location, could not care for her in the hospital.
I am a mother of a “Children’s Hospital” kid. I spent many days and nights caring for my youngest during his open heart surgery and recovery. Staying at a hospital is normal for me and seemed like a perfect chance to provide service. I promptly called the social worker who gave me shift options. Not surprisingly, the “grave-yard” shift for Saturday night was open and needed to be filled. Without hesitation, I agreed to go. There wouldn’t be a conflict with church – Sacrament started at 11:30am – I was teaching the TFOT lesson in RS and my lesson was prepared. I assumed this baby would be medicated; I could read, sleep on the cot with out much effort, and still be rested for church the next morning.
My arrival at the neurology floor went unheralded.
“I’m here to volunteer for a foster baby?” I inquired.
“She’s in room 4D,” the nurse directed.
“Um…OK…do I have any instructions?”
“No, there is a volunteer in there already, she will explain.”
In the room sat a woman rocking an alert, darling, little girl, albeit with lots of tubes, drains, cords and monitors attached to her. What took me by surprise was that I was told “You will not need to provide any hands-on care, but just sitting in the room to watch over her.” This baby clearly needed care and attention. The woman then handed her to me and said, “She just had a bottle. You will need to feed her again in two hours, change and weigh her diaper and call the nurse if you need anything.” Buh-bye.
There I sat, totally unprepared for how to care for this infant and really wishing I had gone to the bathroom before I sat down.
Finally, after sitting there for a few minutes I buzzed the nurse, “Could you please help me – I really need to know what is expected of me tonight – I wasn’t given any instructions – am I supposed to hold her all night long?”
The nurse explained, that no, she could go back to her bed, but she preferred to be held. Well, duh??!! If my parents had hurt me (yes, I’m speculating, I’m not sure what her parents did to her – but someone caused her head injury), I would prefer to be held too (but then again, maybe not?). She then helped me untangle the web of tubes that now enveloped both of us and held her while I went to the bathroom.
I have three children – I was amazed at how helpless and inexperienced I felt caring for this baby – and how I immediately fell in love with her. Even after all she had suffered, she babbled and cooed and smiled and cried. Her cries were pathetic. I’m not sure if this is true, but I’ve heard that abused babies learn not to cry because they are not responded too. She had been taught well. Over the next seven hours I was this baby’s mommy. I finally did get her to bed (at midnight) where she slept for three hours (I did too, surprisingly) before her next feeding. The night proceeded like clock work. At 6am, I fed her, changed her diaper and dressed her before I left at 7am.
As I departed her room, I said a quiet prayer, “my dear sweet daughter of God, I’m not sure what life has in store for you, but I hope you will know that your Heavenly Father loves you and that you will be infinitely blessed.”
I’m not sure if I will see this sweet daughter again. The service she provided me was far more than I provided her. She taught me that in spite of unspeakable evil, she could still laugh, heal and be loved.




I cried just a little as I read this. My daughter spent the first 5 weeks of her life alone in the NICU after she was born to testing positive for opiates and having an adverse reaction to withdrawl. My heart has a special place for the amazing nurses and volunteers who rocked her and loved her until the day I was asked to be her mother. Still, my heart breaks every time I think of her alone in that bassinet. Fifteen months later I sat in the same NICU rocking her baby brother as he fought that same battle. I knew at that time he was not going to be my son, but my heart broke just a little each time I left him and hope that somewhere in his little spirit he heard the blessing my husband gave him the day before his release to his own (amazing) family, telling him he was a son of God and he was loved by his savior. It makes me so happy to know that there are others out there passing along the same love and the same whisper.
Comment #1 by meemeeMay 26th, 2009 at 6:35 pmWhat a remarkable experience, Melissa. Thank you for describing it for us.
My mother sat in the hospital with her one-year-old grandson when he had meningitis. The baby slept easily in his bed and only needed to hear the sound of her voice when he woke for a few minutes.
There was another baby in the room who had a brief visit only once during all the time my mother was there, from a mother who complained that she didn’t like hospitals. That baby didn’t sleep well. Mom so wanted to pick him up, but didn’t dare. Finally a nurse asked if she would rock the baby whenever her grandson didn’t need her, and she was thrilled to be able to do it. She was almost in tears describing how the baby snuggled into her shoulder and slept, and she held him as much as she could. I wouldn’t be surprised if, as you did, she didn’t pray for the future wellbeing of the poor little guy.
Anyway, thanks for a beautiful post.
Comment #2 by Ardis ParshallMay 26th, 2009 at 6:41 pmit is no wonder that it is such a great sin to hurt these precious children of God, and it is no wonder that we are counseled to become like them.
Thank you for the post. It was beautiful!
Comment #3 by SunshineMay 26th, 2009 at 8:00 pmThat makes my heart just ache…when my third baby was in the hospital, the little girl sharing his room had been abused by her father. She had broken ribs and a head injury, and her father actually tried to come visit her and had to be escorted away–while this was all happening I was stroking my newborn’s head and crying a little for her.
Every chance the nurses in our unit got, they were in there rocking and loving her. It must break their hearts…
Thanks for taking care of that sweet little girl.
Comment #4 by KerynMay 26th, 2009 at 8:18 pmBeautiful. Do you know where people can go to find opportunities like this? (I know I could google it, but wondering if you can point me in the right direction. Am thinking also would love to get my sisters/daughters involved in this kind of thing before they start families of their own.)
Comment #5 by JaneMay 26th, 2009 at 8:25 pmThat is heart breaking. I will be in the hospital with my six month old for three+ months starting in June. We’ve already done a few weeks, so we know what to expect. The thought of her waking up alone in a hospital just tears my heart. I can’t imagine little ones being left alone. I’m glad that they have a system for volunteers to sit with these little children.
Comment #6 by SeekerMay 26th, 2009 at 8:38 pmshoots, i didn’t just cry a little, i sobbed huge, choking sobs as i tried to read this to my husband. bless you for performing such an act of service. and bless that sweet baby. i don’t know if it’s postpartum/nursing hormones from my four-month-old or just mama-bear-to-four stuff, but man. that poor, sweet baby. i wish i was angelina jolie so i could just bring every baby home. i’m like the kid who takes in stray animals, but i want to do it with children. my heart just breaks and breaks and breaks. thank you for sharing this story. i am going to find out if there are similar services in our area.
Comment #7 by makakonaMay 26th, 2009 at 8:53 pmThe group in our area is called The CALL - Christians of Arkansas Loved for a Lifetime — I don’t know if there are similar groups/affiliates in other states. My girlfriend (whose husband is an ER pediatrican at the same hospital) passed the info onto me — otherwise I wouldn’t have known anything about it. I’m so thankful she did.
I immediately came home and told my DH “we need to be foster parents!” the reality is, we aren’t in a position yet to take on that responsibility with our own kids — but I hope that we can eventually. In the mean time, I like knowing I can volunteer — and that my schedule is flexible enough to allow me to do so.
Oh, isn’t it funny how when you are writing something and come back to read it later how it doesn’t “sound the same” — I hope I didn’t imply that I didn’t want to hold her!!! I just was surprised when I found her mobile and out of bed!
Comment #8 by Melissa McMay 26th, 2009 at 9:10 pmThank you, Melissa, for this beautiful and touching post.
As I read, I thought of two things:
1) Collin Raye recorded a song he never released as a single entitled, “The Eleventh Commandment”. My wife and I heard him perform it live years ago, and when he finished there wasn’t a sound in the theater except for sobs coming from multiple directions. It shattered my heart then, and this post did the same thing.
The video of The Eleventh Commandment can be seen at: (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=okeRuvG5inM)
2) My wife works as a caregiver with the elderly, mostly doing overnight shifts. Much of what you describe fits what she does - just at the other end of life. She has cared for multiple people at the end of their lives, and there is a connection that binds those who help the helpless regardless of age.
Comment #9 by RayMay 26th, 2009 at 9:11 pmI used to work with abused and neglected children and this made me remember how I would often sit in my car and cry after a day at work before driving home. There is nothing sadder than a child that doesn’t know love from their own family and must seek it from strangers who offer that love that has been denied them.
Comment #10 by Mayoress of crazytownMay 26th, 2009 at 9:31 pmWhen my son was in the NICU he was medically transported to another hospital & there we discovered that out of 14 babies ours was one of only 3 who had regular visitors. In fact the infant in the bed next to my son never received a visitor during the entire 10 days we were there. I so badly wanted to scoop up that sweet baby & just cuddle her but due to her issues I didn’t even ask.
Thank you for sharing. When school starts I think I’ll be checking into volunteering @ the hospital.
Comment #11 by Sues2u2May 26th, 2009 at 10:14 pmThank you for sharing, Melissa. I’m going to see if anything similar is at my local children’s hospital.
Comment #12 by Tracy MMay 26th, 2009 at 10:26 pmWhat an amazing and beautiful experience. This sounds like just the kind of service I’ve been looking for, I’m going to call my hospitals, too!
Comment #13 by SallyGirlMay 27th, 2009 at 10:44 amMy heart just breaks for this child. It seems so unfair that so many babies are so loved and some have to go without the most basic comfort. What a service though to be able to offer comfort to these sweet little ones who need it so badly, even if it was just for a short time.
Comment #14 by BYU Women's ServicesMay 27th, 2009 at 12:18 pmWow…this was such a beautiful post. Thanks for sharing your experience. I’m going to go find my boys and give them big hugs right now!
Comment #15 by JenMay 27th, 2009 at 3:42 pmAs a missionary in Eastern Europe, we went and held the babies at the hospital for our service hours. They were infants who had been abandoned by families who couldn’t care for their medical issues. Most of them were hydrocephalic (abnormally large heads), and were in the hospital nursery until they died because there wasn’t money for the surgeries. They were blind and non-responsive. It was emotionally draining, and my comp and I would cry when we left. Poor babies.
Comment #16 by MelindaMay 28th, 2009 at 9:55 amThis was one heavy post for all the moms with emotive-hormone-sensitivies.
(And isn’t that the bulk of your readership?)
Lots of tears.
Going to go hold my babies now.
Comment #17 by emMay 29th, 2009 at 8:38 pmBeautiful, beautiful post. I am awed by the service that you and others provide in situations like this. Your prayer at the end of your shift was precious. I can only imagine the sweet spirit you felt as you taught your Relief Society lesson that morning after your shift was completed.
Comment #18 by SharonJune 4th, 2009 at 8:37 pmWhen my oldest was 4 she got meningitis. My husband took off work and we sat with her night and day in the hospital for a week. Never leaving her for a second — praying for her recovery. When we left the hospital, I was surprised the nurses told me that they were sure that we could handle giving our daughter her remaining antibiotics at home and they weren’t worried about our daughter at all. The nurse simply said, “With most children that leave here we worry ourselves sick about them and wonder what happens to them.” I got the impression that a vast majority of child patients are not cared for in the way you would think. Breaks my heart.
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