By Heather O.
Today, I pulled up to the Burger King drive-thru. It was a specific request from my son, who found out from our previous Burger King trip last week that the toy in the kid’s meal was a set of Pokemon cards. We were out and about and insanely busy, and I just didn’t have it in me to drive my kids home for lunch.
I knew it was really bad, though, when my daughter, who just turned 2 and has only about 25 words in her entire vocabulary, starts shouting, “awant TICKEN! TICKEN! TICKEN!”
For those of you who are not fluent in Little Sister-ese, this means, “I want CHICKEN, specifically CHICKEN NUGGETS.”
To have this reaction when she sees me roll down my window? People, that’s just sad.
It didn’t used to be this way. I swear. Honestly. For about a year, I was a vegetarian, per doctor’s orders, and I subjected my children to all manner of healthy meals that they found completely repugnant. Beans and rice and fish were all the rage over here, and I was even into soy milk for a while. Fast food was evil, and we didn’t go there. Plus, we were desperately trying to save money to pay off our student loans, and so all of that adds up to healthy meals at home.
Well, the loans are paid off (can I hear a big WOO HOO!) and my doctor took me off the vegetarian diet, summer swimming schedule has kicked into high gear, and face it, I’m just that lazy. Hence the recognition at the drive thru from a toddler who can barely talk.
But healthy meals aren’t the only things that fluctuates around here. For a while, we did awesome at the scripture reading thing. Every morning, we’d get up as a family and read scriptures before sending our small child out into the scary world. I felt a need to give him an extra boost, something to take with him as he faced big bad kindergarten.
These days–yup, you guessed it. My scriptures lie on my nightstand, unopened, except when they mock me from my car when I get back in it on Sunday and realize that they’ve been sitting there all week.
And when scripture reading goes, everything else gets tossed out too. Well, not tossed, exactly. I don’t toss stuff like this–it kind of sneaks away and plays hide and seek for a while. Without telling me. I hate it when the game’s afoot and I don’t even know I’m ‘it’.
I’m not really sure what causes these waves. I just know they happen. I’m freaking out less about them, though, because I remember when there was a time when I served healthy meals, and we read scriptures, and had regular FHE, and didn’t take short cuts at bedtime and skimp on stories. And so I know we will eventually get there again. I’m just…waiting for the wave to carry me there. Or get enough energy to kick my boogie board out to find it.
(Did I just mix metaphors? Sorry, it’s been a long day that ended with me sitting in a downpour waiting for the swim coaches to cancel a swimmeet, something that only occurs if the thunder is deafening and the rain is coming down in blinding sheets. When a thunder clap actually shook the earth, the coaches finally let us go home. But hey, my kid thought running around in the rain in a swim suit with his buddies is way more fun than swimming the breast-stroke, so there you go.)
What waves does your family surf?




I think we all travel in waves. We get lazy, or life needs a change. My husband and I were actually talking about this a few weeks ago and we came to this conclusion- now we know why we’re asked to go to church every week. Seriously, after church, we’re thinking we have so much we need to improve on. We do well for a few days, and then we’re reminded again the next week at church.
Comment #1 by KimJune 22nd, 2009 at 8:08 pmPlus, it’s summer. You’ve lived by a schedule for too long, and now you’re just relaxing a bit. We all do that from time to time. And I think you could just be happy that your toddler is actually associating anything at all. That’s huge. I’m sure I’ve heard somewhere that it’s a good thing when your child recognizes the M for McDonald’s- they’re reading…
Have you ever seen Super Size Me? It showed kids who, when showed a bunch of pictures, recognized Ronald McDonald more times than Jesus. Just don’t let it get that bad
Comment #2 by HilaryJune 22nd, 2009 at 8:19 pmHilary, we haven’t been to MacDonald’s since I saw that show. Ugh. I’m still traumatized by the special features, where they have french fries sitting in the guy’s office for SIX WEEKS and they don’t get moldy. That’s just wrong.
Besides, I’m more of a Chick-Fil-A gal anyways
Comment #3 by Heather O.June 22nd, 2009 at 8:26 pmI KNOW!!!! The french fry thing was just NOT right. I don’t know why it wasn’t in the film, that’s pretty much all I needed to know…I already knew the place made you fat
Comment #4 by HilaryJune 22nd, 2009 at 8:33 pmOh Heather, thank you so much for sharing this. It’s nice to know that waves happen to other families. Personally right now I feel like my little family has fallen off our surfboard and are just barely treading water. I’d like to get back on the board in terms of eating healthy, scripture study, church attendance, and generally being nice to each other… but I think our surfboard floated (floot? is that seriously the past tense?) away or got eaten by a shark
Comment #5 by KrisJune 22nd, 2009 at 8:38 pmI’m doing a read-the-Book-of-Mormon-in-2 1/2-months deal with the Young Women right now so we and the YW can all pass off our Virtue project during the summer. So I’m reading it like a maniac right now which is nice because it makes it get done. But I’m also currently on the fast-food-for-lunch-too-often kick because it’s just easier to do when we’re running errands than make it home in time to get them a healthy lunch and still get down for naps on time. So, hey over there! You are I are riding that wave together, and I’m okay with that because I’m not very good at surfing so I know it will end soon.
Comment #6 by StarababaJune 22nd, 2009 at 8:45 pmThe Unemployment Tsunami, baby.
Comment #7 by Tracy MJune 22nd, 2009 at 9:21 pmexerciseing, healthy food, family prayer, going to church consistantly…. all in waves!
Can I get a WAVE…. *wave*
Comment #8 by AprilliumJune 22nd, 2009 at 9:28 pmWe realized we were eating out too much when we were turning into the parking lot of Costco and our 2 year old excitedly yelled from the back seat “Pizza!”
Comment #9 by AubreyJune 22nd, 2009 at 9:29 pmAubrey, or when you pull up to the drive-thru at the bank and your child in the back seat rattles off their lunch order.
Comment #10 by ModdyJune 22nd, 2009 at 9:40 pmfirst of all i would like to say…CONGRATULATIONS on being out of student loan hell! next i would like to say that my scriptures are still currently residing in my church bag from sunday…or was it the sunday before…? third, my husband once read somewhere (from a reputable priesthood holder)that a good parent never gives up. that being said, one of our favorite quotes around here is “try again tomorrow.”
i’m not an advocate of fast food, though i do my fair share of driving thru. i do advocate a less stressed mommy, and if chick-fil-a aids in your relief then i say…drive on thru sister!
Comment #11 by kristinJune 22nd, 2009 at 9:50 pmThe drive-thru people at my Chick-fil-A are SO NICE. It’s like they’re thrilled to talk to me, every time I come through. Seriously, they have ten times better customer service when I pay them ten bucks for a passel of nuggets (polynesian sauce, thank you) than Wells Freakin’ Fargo, with whom I recently completed a refinance transaction on my depressingly large mortgage. Apparently the people at Wells Fargo are REALLY GRUMPY about taking all my money.
I love Chick-Fil-A. (Or as my Grandma continues to call it, Chick-a-Fil.)
Comment #12 by AngelaJune 22nd, 2009 at 11:08 pm[…] Mormon Mommy Wars » Surfing the parenting waves […]
Pingback #13 by Single Parenting and the effects on children | Parenting Help in HawaiiJune 23rd, 2009 at 6:26 amIt’s even worse when on the drive home after work / school, etc…your child pipes up from the backseat - “Mommy, Where are we going to dinner?” …not, “What are we having?” - sad!
My children see the golden arches and immediately start chanting “play place, play place, play place!”
They’d rather go there than the local park…..*sigh*
Comment #14 by seashellsJune 23rd, 2009 at 7:25 amI surf the personal prayer wave, the not yelling at my kids wave, and the doing laundry consistently wave. They all seem to be somehow inter-connected. If I’ve not yelled at my kids for a week, you can bet there’s a mountain of laundry waiting to be done somewhere.
Comment #15 by mellocelloJune 23rd, 2009 at 7:38 amseashells, I don’t blame them. A play place is airconditioned and doesn’t have hot slides. Plus, no sand or bark in your car for later. I definitely get the appeal.
Comment #16 by Heather O.June 23rd, 2009 at 7:40 amNo worries about the waves. But seriously, BK is offering pokemon cards in the kids meal? I know where we’ll be going when we stop to eat during our vacation this week!
Comment #17 by TiffanyJune 23rd, 2009 at 8:07 amYa, I think we all ride that wave. Years ago when we lived in Las Vegas I would eat at Mcdonalds at least 2 or 3 times a week. Do you think that I got fat? Absolutely. When we moved to Utah I vowed to disown McDonalds. Ya, so, we go to Wendy’s instead.
However, the other morning I had the biggest craving for a Mcgriddle. I went to MCD’s and got one, ate it on the way home so I wouldn’t have to buy anything for the kids.
Our waves are scripture reading, FHE, family prayers…oh, and being nice to each other, and mom being nice to the family, which means not yelling. But, since it’s summer and I am pregnant and I don’t want to do anything, I don’t hardly care what they do. Is that bad?
Comment #18 by SunshineJune 23rd, 2009 at 8:30 amThe Pokemon cards are no more. The toy is now some freaky Transformer thing. J was highly disappointed.
Comment #19 by Heather O.June 23rd, 2009 at 9:04 amoh darn. I have three serious pokemon fans in my house. And trading cards have practically become a religion for the little ones. (Definitely not for the parents, though!)
Comment #20 by TiffanyJune 23rd, 2009 at 9:55 amFrom perhaps my favorite book ever, Gift From the Sea by Anne Morrow Lindbergh:
Vague as this definition may be, I believe most people are aware of periods in their lives when they seem to be “in grace” and other periods when they feel “out of grace,” even though they may use different words to describe these states. In the first happy condition, one seems to carry all one’s tasks before one lightly, as if borne along on a great tide; and in the opposite state one can hardly tie a shoe-string.
So–moms have been riding the waves for a long time! Must just be part of the ride . . .
Comment #21 by mbJune 23rd, 2009 at 12:40 pmI wish my wave came with an actual ocean, some sand, and perhaps greased up men swishing palm fronds at me. But no — it’s pretty much the same one y’all are on too. Good company, at least, yeah?
Comment #22 by teresaJune 23rd, 2009 at 1:37 pm[…] Mormon Mommy Wars » Surfing the parenting waves […]
Pingback #23 by How to solve Separation Anxiety with Your KidsJune 23rd, 2009 at 8:24 pmMy 12 month old currently will eat banana’s, yogurt, cheese, cottage cheese and McDonalds Chicken Nuggets.
Seriously
That’s her entire protien diet…McDonalds Chicken Nuggets.
I’m seriously very happy she is at least willing to eat them.
so no guilt, sadness, anxiety here.
Comment #24 by SarahJune 24th, 2009 at 2:56 pmLMBO! my just-turned-2 knows MANY words. but she’s been agitating for FRIES any time i go to ANY drive-through since she could lisp “fries!” at least 6 months. i love her big vocabulary - i can ask if she wants nuggets or cheeseburger, and she can tell me.
sometimes 2-year-olds (which she’s also been ACTING for 6 months, tho she only turned 2 saturday) will go weeks on end refusing to eat anything but cheeseburgers and granola bars. she just discovered nuggets this month. how did i go so wrong? LOL
Comment #25 by MamaBearJune 24th, 2009 at 5:28 pmWe have a vegetable and no-vegetable wave. And I was getting all proud of myself for not having many waves, and then I realized that’s because we’ve never started family scripture study or family prayer. I’ve got a dry beach, with no waves at all in some areas!
Comment #26 by Molly in the Jello BeltJune 24th, 2009 at 8:10 pmthe getting the kids to bed at a decent hour wave, but I think the tide is turning on that one, yay!
Comment #27 by aprilJune 24th, 2009 at 10:24 pm