By Heather O.
I had a hard time sleeping last night. It was too hot, I was too uncomfortable, I had to pee, then the dog had to pee, then I got a drink, and then had to give the dog a drink, and suddenly I’m all wide awake and staring at the ceiling thinking about nothing and everything. So, I started to blog in my head.
I remember chuckling about my blog post while I came up with some awesome stuff. I nudged my husband to make him stop snoring, and thought of some more witticisms. It was truly the post to end all posts, and I even considered getting up out of bed to post it. But then, my bed seemed so soft, the a/c kicked in so I was cool, and my husband seemed so snuggly after he stopped snoring. So I dozed, thinking, surely I’ll remember all of it in the morning.
It’s gone. Completely. I have no real memory of even what the topic of the post was. It’s lost in the twilight sleep I was most likely in. And although it probably wasn’t nearly as funny as I thought it was at 2am, surely it was worth something.
So I apologize for being lame. I’m babysitting, I’m homebound, and I’ve got nothing for you today. Well, except for the fact that my daughter got her head stuck in the bannister today, and as I watched her squirm and cry and start to panic, I honestly stood there thinking, “Dude. I have no idea how I’m going to get you unstuck, daughter. How in the name of chicken did you get in that state, child?” And then I was bizarrely reminded of the episode of Family Ties where Skippy Handelman finds out he’s adopted, and is trying to come to terms with the whole thing, and Alex Keaton says to him, “When you were 3, and got your head stuck in the bannister, who was it that got you out?” And Skippy says, “It was my mom, Mrs. Handelman.” And then Alex says, “And when you were 14, and got your head stuck in the bannister, who was it that got you out that time?” Then Skippy ducks his head and says, sheepishly, “That time it was my dad, Mr. Handelman.” And Alex says, “If it wasn’t for those two people, you would still have your head stuck in that bannister.” Watching my toddler re-enact this scene made me feel like I was trapped in some sort of twisted sit-com.
Ah well, wouldn’t be the first time.
Next time I’m dreaming something bloggy, I’ll post it (didn’t Tracy once call it “drunk dialing the blog”?). And if it’s lame, I promise I’ll delete it in the morning.
That is all. Carry on.
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