By The Wiz
I have a large back yard. Currently, it’s a big pile of desert, with the occasional lizard or spider thrown in for good measure. Everyone looks at it, though, and says “oh, the potential!”
I am suddenly bombarded with decisions I am in no way qualified to make. My design sense is sorely lacking, so asking me what shape I want a pool and where I think it would look best and why is causing my synapses to snap. I come up with some stuff, and then they show me what it would look like, and it’s like “That kind of looks ridiculous. I hate it.” “But that’s what you said you wanted.” “Well, I was WRONG, then, wasn’t I?” Back to the drawing board.
Then you start getting into technicalities like filters and cleaning systems and covers and fences and those are just the terms I “understand.” There’s a lot of crap I just don’t get, and having somebody completely vested in getting me to spend as much money as possible explain it to me isn’t exactly helpful.
Then it’s “What else is going in the yard?” and “where” and “how much” and “what do YOU want?” and I want to scream “I DON’T KNOW I DON’T KNOW I DON’T KNOW” until everybody leaves me alone, rocking back and forth in the dark.
And I LOVE the argument “Well, if you plan on being in this house for a while…..(you should spend as much money as possible)….”
Of COURSE I plan on being here for a while. Moving does bad things to me, and we have bad house selling kharma, apparently, so I ain’t selling EVER. Does that REALLY mean I need a fire pit? Although that would be cool.
So we hired a landscape designer to help. I was hoping for her to say “Voila! Here’s your yard, it’ll look perfect and be exactly what you want.” But no, she keeps asking more of those questions to gauge what I want, and how can I tell you what I want if I’m not clear on it myself???? Plus, it’s just awesome when hubs and I disagree on what should be in the yard and where. It really helps these people out.
(What I really need is a Vulcan designer. Somebody who can do a mind meld with me, sort out the thoughts and vague pictures in my head, and then add their design sensibility to make it awesome. Although I wonder if Vulcans would find landscaping “illogical”.)
It reminds me very much of house hunting. It feels like such a permanent decision, or actually a whole series of permanent decisions, and if I get any of them wrong, well, then, too bad.
Maybe I should just stick with “having potential.” Have you ever noticed, not just in this particular situation, but constantly, that “having” potential is ever so much easier than “realizing” said potential?