By Heather O.
I took a vacation this weekend. It. Was. Awesome. Just me and the husband at the beach. This was a trip that has been a long time in the planning, and it was perfect.
We had a great time. We laughed, we talked, we ate seafood. And we slept. And slept. And slept.
We had 3 nights and 3 mornings at a hotel. The first morning, we slept until 10:00. The second morning, we slept past 11:00. And it’s not like we slept late because we were partying into the night. We were in a remote beach town, far from the world. Every night we turned in early. The only reason we didn’t sleep until noon the third morning is because we had to be out of the hotel by 10am.
I think we were tired.
There was a lot we could have done. There are a lot of attractions down there, lots of day trips we could have planned. In the end, however, we skipped almost all of it. We took naps instead.
There’s something slightly scary when you sleep solid, heavy, and uninterrupted for over 12 hours (twice). It’s like when you start cleaning a long ignored portion of your house, thinking that it wasn’t that bad, only to find scary things crawling in it. I didn’t think we were THAT tired. Apparently, I was wrong.
The sad thing is, my husband was a total morning person when we got married. He used to jump on the bed to wake me up while I threw pillows at him and hid over the covers. He would look down on me with condescending scorn on the weekends when I would shuffle into the kitchen at 10:00, looking to scrounge up some breakfast. He would inform me that 10:00 is the middle of the day! He’d been up for hours! It’s almost lunch time–how can you be eating Cheerios? I would squint at him and try to remember how much I love him while I grunted into my cereal. I would also compare his cheerfulness to one of an annoying dog. A golden retriever, perhaps, who needs to be taken on a walk. Or be kicked.
I’m not sure if I have corrupted him, or if the children have. Perhaps I should be proud, take all the credit. After all, it’s not every woman who can turn a golden retriever into a two toed sloth.
There are larger implications of this, of course. If we are that tired, being parents of two children, how much MORE tired are parents who have 3 or 4 or 5 children? It’s like the world is run by people who are operating on an intense sleep deficit.Seriously, it’s amazing that more people in Utah don’t die in car crashes. Considering the child to liquor store ratio in that state, mothers are probably more dangerous than drunks.
**This is a joke. I do not think mothers are more dangerous than drunks. It’s meant to be hyperbolic for humorous effect, although I will admit to being a scary, scary, unsafe driver for the first 3 months after my daughter was born.***
So to all you parents out there, I just have one piece of advice:
For the love of flannel, go take a nap already. Your body and other drivers will thank you.




This is the one thing I am dreading about having child #2 in January, the return to no sleep. Though, on the plus side, I will be able to roll over in the middle of the night without waking up to do so to avoid sharp pain! Hooray! I love sleep. I’ve figured out I really function best with 8 or 9 hours every night at least. Less than that on a regular basis and I start not functioning so well (and the crankies arrive).
I think I remember reading some study years ago about how sleep deprivation made people just as dangerous of drivers as being drunk. I certainly am not a good driver when I am extremely tired.
Comment #1 by kaduseyOctober 15th, 2009 at 2:53 pmParenting is tiring. It’s because for the last 20 years I have slept with the expectation I will need to tend my children in the middle of the night. Never mind that the oldest is in college 300 miles away, or my son is leaving on his mission soon, (anybody in the Raleigh, North Carolina Mission?) how can I rest when I don’t know they are home safe?. Even though I know my 16 and 14 yo can get whatever they need, I can’t ever fall deep asleep like I did before I had children. Gosh, I depress myself. I think I am gonna take a nap.
Comment #2 by pollyOctober 15th, 2009 at 3:11 pmI heart naps. The day that a nap keeps me from being able to fall asleep well at night like it does to dh will be a sad, sad day for me. Now would someone please explain to my 1-year old why her mommy is such a better mommy when she allows her to nap, because she didn’t sleep long enough again today and it’s killing me! Glad y’all got a nice, sleepy vacation.
Comment #3 by StarababaOctober 15th, 2009 at 4:05 pmIt’s true, moms are dangerous. I have been known to nod off at a red light. Which is why I sometimes put my car in park as a preventative measure, when stopped at an intersection. Life is exhausting. Especially when your entire upstairs (all 4 bedrooms, Heather) have to be torn apart for mold, AND they have to knock down all the stucco to fix the structural defect that caused it all.
What did you do with your kiddoes? And can I send mine there, too?
Comment #4 by Joy TOctober 15th, 2009 at 4:46 pm[…] Mormon Mommy Wars » I guess parenting is tiring […]
Pingback #5 by Teaching your kids to talk softer | Parenting Help in HawaiiOctober 15th, 2009 at 5:20 pmDh and I are going on vacation in about 3 weeks, JUST US! I am so excited! It’s been 3 years since we went away without the kids and we’ve added one more since then. I look forward to not having to get up early to exercise before I get the kids ready for school. Sleeping in, here I come!
Comment #6 by FairchildOctober 15th, 2009 at 5:34 pmAs a mom of four, yes a daily nap would be wonderful! Except then I’m up way too late at night. My body and my brain argue over exactly how much sleep is enough. My brain says 10 hours, my body says 6.
Comment #7 by mormonhermitmomOctober 15th, 2009 at 6:05 pmI’m so tired that I actually ENJOYED going to the dentist today to get my teeth cleaned. I leaned back in that reclining chair and closed my eyes for 30 minutes and didn’t have to do. a. thing.
Comment #8 by LizOctober 15th, 2009 at 6:42 pmJoy, I’m SO sorry about the mold. What a headache.
The kids stayed with Grandma and Grandpa, and supposedly were as good as gold.
Comment #9 by Heather O.October 15th, 2009 at 7:18 pmMy daughter turned one yesterday. It occurred to me that I haven’t slept well or had more than 7 consecutive hours of sleep in a year.
If moms don’t sleep when their children are young or when they’re teenagers, can a tired mom catch some zzz’s in those tween years? Give me some hope, please.
Comment #10 by ZinkaOctober 15th, 2009 at 11:10 pmI’m the opposite of your husband. I used to be able to sleep in till midmorning on weekends and loved every minute of it. Now I think some mommy alarm goes off in my brain by 8 am every morning. Boo on that! We went on a cruise w/o the kids a couple of years ago. We stayed in one of those interior rooms with no light whatsoever and I still woke up before 9 every morning. I wish that mommy alarm had a snooze!
Comment #11 by normal mormon wifeOctober 16th, 2009 at 4:50 amToo funny!! Isn’t it so nice to sleep in and sleep for long? I don’t have any children yet, but for the past 6 years or so, I worked my tail off and tried to have a social life all at the same time. I didn’t sleep much. Now that I am in Brasil, with no job and not so much to do yet, I sleep a LOT. And I love it. I tell everyone I am preparing for when my husband and I have babies. And now I know with a certainty that is true!
Comment #12 by StephanieOctober 16th, 2009 at 7:15 amAlong with having 5 kids…. I also worked a graveyard shift when my youngest was in kindergarten. One morning, after getting the other 4 out and going to school, I put the youngest in the car to drive him to school. Got to the school, turned around in the back drive…. and was headed home, when a voice in the back seat said….uh, mom… are you going to stop and let me out?….totally forgot what I was even doing! So, yes, I was extreeeeeemly sleep deprived. And to easy any ones mind….He turned out just fine. A Marine who served 3 tours….who is safely home and doing great!
But, don’t knock those 12 hour sleep nights!
Comment #13 by BrendaOctober 16th, 2009 at 6:27 pm“We had a great time. We laughed, we talked, we ate seafood. And we slept. And slept. And slept.”
No sex? I love how in R.S. when there’s a lesson on how to strengthen your marriage it’s always “pray together, go to the temple, etc” but never “have sex.” These are the censored lives we lead…
Comment #14 by JoanneOctober 16th, 2009 at 8:46 pmHeather’s Dh won’t let her talk about her sex life on the internet.
Comment #15 by The WizOctober 16th, 2009 at 9:29 pmWiz speaks the truth. And some things ought to be censored, at least when it comes to sharing intimate details of my marriage with strangers on the internet. In RS, well, that’s different. Maybe.
Comment #16 by Heather O.October 18th, 2009 at 8:27 amPolly I live in that mission. I’m in the Apex Stake, Swift Creek Ward. I’ve never posted here but I do read often.
Mary in Fuquay Varina NC
Comment #17 by MaryOctober 18th, 2009 at 7:27 pm