By Melissa Mc
George Clooney, with his salt and pepper hair, is considered the Sexiest Man Alive.
Brad Pitt, with his salt and pepper beard, is considered the Sexiest Man Alive.
Me, with my salt and pepper hair, I’m considered old, dowdy, and frumpy (ok, maybe it’s because I wear mom jeans and has absolutely nothing to do with my hair color).
After years of highlights, color, low lights, rinses, foils, — I’m trying to decide what to do with my gray.
Frankly, I’m not nearly old enough to have gray. But somehow my follicles didn’t get the memo. It’s everywhere – temples, hairline, wiry sprouts growing from my crown that I rip out at every opportunity. I hate it!! But I also hate spending tons of money ever two months covering it up. Oh, and I hate roots - even if they are gray and not Madonna-dark. But then the vicious cycle starts all over again, because I cave and call my hairdresser to cover them up.
My dilemma reached a “head” this week because my “stylist” told me she was retiring! What?? Finding a good hairdresser is like finding a good doctor –once you find them, you stick with them forever.
I emailed her on Monday and asked, naively, “Do you have any time the week of Nov. 11th for a high light and cut?”
She responded back with this blasphemy, “Next week is my last week actually I am taking an extended break from hair.”
What does extended break mean specifically? Does it mean a break from all your other clients except me? Because I need to cover this gray in a really bad way, so I can be a lot less mom-jean-ish.
So, I don’t know what to do. I’m tempted to cut my hair butch-short and peroxide it blond. But I’m afraid of scaring my children. On the other hand, it may get me out of my Relief Society calling.
If someone would vote me, Sexiest Man Alive, I think I would be willing to keep it…
Amen sister. I’m 30 and have had gray hairs for 10 yrs already. I have no answers for you, just empathy. When we have money, I tend to get them covered up, but since we’re in a no money situation right now, I just try to ignore them and hope people don’t notice too much. I guess what adds injury to insult is that my husband has a whopping 3 gray hairs to my 500. sigh…
Comment #1 by amelia bedeliaOctober 26th, 2009 at 8:27 pmClairol? (sorry, couldn’t resist
)
Comment #2 by Heather O.October 26th, 2009 at 9:31 pmMy husband has tons of gray hairs at 29. He has had them forever. I don’t yet, but I’m sure I will get them, both of my parents have them. My mom covers hers up. She also never goes out without wearing makeup. I suspect that I would just let my gray hairs be. I’m a natural type of girl. I have died my hair black once or twice, but that was just for I don’t know what. I have nothing to cover up. I’m sorry it’s a problem for you. I hope you don’t go feeling bad about yourself because of the way your hair color changes. Embrace your body as it is. If you are healthy and happy, does your hair color really matter?
Comment #3 by PriscilaOctober 27th, 2009 at 1:32 amMy sentiments exactly!
Comment #4 by LucyOctober 27th, 2009 at 5:54 amI have a few white hairs, so far. Of course, they have to be in the forefront of my head. They’re awfully sparkly. I figure God’s finally granting me my heart’s (foolish) desire for beautiful, thick and shiny hair, except it’ll be white.
Comment #5 by All8October 27th, 2009 at 6:07 amsomeone told me once that gray hair was a sign of a copper deficiency. you might look into mineral supplements??
i started graying at 16. now, i just cut all my hair off with clippers and don’t worry about it
Comment #6 by daveOctober 27th, 2009 at 7:11 amMy husband has been increasing salt and pepper since we met, which was his mission homecoming (he is now 27). He gets it from his mother, who proudly wears her gray streaked hair. I think they both look great. Of course, they also have dark black hair that contrasts with the gray in a kind of distinguished, movie star way.
My grandmother, however, has been almost bald for as long as I can remember. This is the grandmother who I seem to be a genetic copy of, so it does not bode well for me. I figure as long as I have hair, it can be as gray as it wants.
Comment #7 by KatieOctober 27th, 2009 at 7:18 amI can relate. The gray started ten years ago, at the tender age of 27. I refused to let it bother me for a long time. This is me: wrinkles, hag hairs (okay, I pull those out), softening tummy, etc. I like my body and am happy. I want to age with acceptance and peace, and maybe even a little grace.
But…
It’s hard to be the youngest woman in a room of and be the _only_ one sprouting grays. Honest. It’s been hard for me to admit, but I don’t have the confidence required. Which annoys me, but apparently not as much as the gray.
So, I started the coloring. And it’s great and all, but it’s not me.
Is anyone else out there willing to buck the trend? ‘Cause it’s hard to do it alone. Anyone?
Comment #8 by AhnaOctober 27th, 2009 at 7:46 amMy mother was pretty well gray by the time she was 40 so I expected the same thing. Now she has beautiful white hair. I have had gray hairs popping through since my mid-twenties and now have plenty of it but with my dirty blond hair, it kind of looks like highlights (at least that’s what I tell myself). I never have, and never plan to color my hair. So, Ahna, you can buck the trend with me
. Recently, a lady I visit teach said “You know what I like about you? I like how you don’t color your hair.” I’ve had a couple of other people mention how they like that I am natural and wish that they could be like that too. I know many women who look classy and beautiful with their gray or white hair. I will be glad to be numbered with them.
Comment #9 by DiOctober 27th, 2009 at 7:56 amI recently had to shave my head for surgery, after many years of dying my hair, various colors. It has grown back in, a very dark brown, with lots of nice shiny white mixed in. (in fact my father in law had water thrown on him last night for being observant) My dh has salt and pepper, and has since we met when he was 22 and I was 20.
Comment #10 by KshawOctober 27th, 2009 at 8:31 amI am hesitant to color because my scalp is super tender along the incision site, but I am learining to deal! I loved coloring my hair, and miss it, since it was a block of time that no one came near me (cause of the fumes!). It was mommy alone time.
So now, I just color my Mother in Laws hair, and we play beauty shop with my girls.
I color my hair all the time- mostly just for fun and for something different. I have noticed a few grays starting to pop up when I let it go natural for a while.
It’s a tragic truth, but gray hair on men is sexy as all get-out, but on women, with few exceptions, it’s not.
Stacy London rocks her gray streak. Lauren Bacall. Jami Lee Curtis. Judi Dench…
Comment #11 by Tracy MOctober 27th, 2009 at 8:58 amI would love to color my hair but I’m going bald. I’m hoping w/ everything I have that it’s a vitamin D deficiency. That being said I used to love tri color foils in my hair. All over. I miss them. So does the gray @ the temples of my head. Really.
Comment #12 by Sues2u2October 27th, 2009 at 9:17 amI too, admire the natural beauty I see so rarely of classy gray hair. Enjoy reading about one woman’s journey to reclaim it in Anne Kreamer’s “Going Gray: What I Learned about Beauty, Sex, Work, Motherhood, Authenticity, and Everything Else that Really Matters”
Comment #13 by anonOctober 27th, 2009 at 10:08 amGood post. Personally I think that if people went au natural more frequently, the world would be amazed at the # of 20-year olds who sport gray and white hair!
I’m planning on letting my hair go natural all the way to white. I think that young people with pure white hair (not bleached) look even younger than they really are, and natural white is so beautiful, especially on a man. Oww ow!
Comment #14 by AmyOctober 27th, 2009 at 10:54 amNatural hair color? What is that?! Pass the Clairol, baby!
Comment #15 by fluffychickyOctober 27th, 2009 at 10:54 amThe guys I work with notice when my color has grown out…. and instead of saying wow….. your hair is sure going gray…. They say….. uh, I like your red hair. Ya, they’ve learned to say things a nice way. Recently found a new hair dresser and He better NOT retire!
Comment #16 by BrendaOctober 27th, 2009 at 11:24 amNatural white hair IS beatiful, and if my hair goes snow-white like my grandma, I’ll totally embrace it, but if it goes all peppery, I’m sticking with the tri-foils.
Comment #17 by Tracy MOctober 27th, 2009 at 11:27 amI love Jamie Lee Curtis’ hair — but mine would never look like that, because I don’t look like her!
Comment #18 by Melissa McOctober 27th, 2009 at 11:32 amYeah, me either. JLC is just fantastic all the way around. I loved it a few years ago when she insisted a fashion magazine publish her just as she was, no touch ups allowed. It was lovely, and inspirational.
Comment #19 by Tracy MOctober 27th, 2009 at 11:42 amMy grandpa was totally white haired by 40 and grandma kept her red hair long into her 50’s. Fickle follicles. Maybe your hairdresser can recommend a competent replacement?
Comment #20 by mormonhermitmomOctober 27th, 2009 at 12:01 pmA few years ago I decided to grow my highlighted hair out and go gray or even better white. My mom had fabulous, thick, white hair and I was hoping for that outcome since it appeared that I was about 85% gray. In order to grow it out without tiger stripes, not an option with my job, my stylist bleached all of the color out of my hair (two trips three weeks apart) and I had an amazing head of short, glossy, white-blond hair. Turned out I had a lot more dark hair left than I thought I did, so I continued to bleach it. Everyone (including my DH and my grandson, who started calling me Nana Sunshine) loved the white-blond. More important, I decided it was more me than the natural color. Hair is like clothes or make-up or jewelry. We use it to show the world who we are and it’s ours to color, cut, corn-row, weave and just generally enjoy.
Comment #21 by MOGOctober 27th, 2009 at 12:42 pmI found a grey hair the other day and I’m still trying to deal with it.
Comment #22 by RoyceOctober 27th, 2009 at 12:54 pmI struggle with this too. I really don’t pay much attention to other things (my clothes, no make up, etc) but my gray hairs bug me. I color myself with Clairol. I LOVE their root touch up kit.
One day maybe I will be brave enough to just let it be.
Comment #23 by Enjoy BirthOctober 27th, 2009 at 2:43 pmI’ve been gray since I was 17, so I started coloring my hair then, using the box. I’m scared of permanent color, so I would always use the semi-permanent.
Now, I’m 27, which is still too young to be gray, but I don’t have time to color my hair anymore. I use henna shampoo, and it works great. My hair is a nice natural-looking reddish color, and it’s totally low-maintenance. (I was a strawberry blonde back when I had color in my hair.) Unfortunately, I just found out that the shampoo I use has been discontinued, so I have to figure something new out.
Comment #24 by Keri BrooksOctober 27th, 2009 at 6:16 pmIsn’t it true that you always covet what you don’t have.
My grandmother apparently went silver - that gorgeous almost too good to be true beautiful silver - in her 20’s. Truthfully, I so so so hoped that would be me. Nothing would make you stand out like a 20yr old with beautiful thick silver hair.
Instead I just turned 34 and have found ONE grey hair to date. I’m still holding out hope for my silver locks.
Comment #25 by JELOctober 27th, 2009 at 8:54 pmYikes! While gray suits men, somehow in our society, it rarely suits a woman unless she is matronly and suppposed-to-be-old-looking (a la Barbara Bush).
Many people in my family color their own hair. Their hair looks great and it only costs them time and whatever the box of hair color costs @ the store. Think about it; that’s $$$ saved, girl!
Comment #26 by Terresa WellbornOctober 27th, 2009 at 9:33 pmBoth of my grandmothers were salt and pepper in their mid-thirties. With a gene pool like that, it was a lost cause. I’ve been coloring gray since I was 22 and have no intentions of stopping!
Comment #27 by mitsyOctober 27th, 2009 at 10:34 pmWhen I was a child, my hair was towhead blond. Over the years it matured into a dishwater blond. Now as I advance in years, I noticed that it is returning to that earlier color. It’s beginning at the temples and progressing nicely.
Comment #28 by Uncle WayneOctober 28th, 2009 at 4:46 amAs a hairstylist, this topic is close to me!! I love to see women with beautiful white/gray hair, for many of the reasons mentioned above. HOWEVER, the women who I see that really rock this look usually have a beautiful haircut and wear makeup and stylish clothes. It’s a hard look to pull off, just with skin color etc. I think it’s a very intentional look.
I’ve colored my hair since I was about 14. While I’ve gone back to my natural color a bunch, I’ve never let it grow out totally. A few months ago I found a few gray’s that totally freak me out. At 29 I’m not really surprised, but don’t want to accept it!! I’ll just keep coloring my hair and pretend they’re not there!!
Comment #29 by AngieOctober 28th, 2009 at 3:59 pmSo, Angie, do you have anytime on Nov 11th for a cut and highlight???
Comment #30 by Melissa McOctober 28th, 2009 at 4:42 pmHave to agree with you..Gray hair is gray hair and mostly old looking..sorry ladies..I will eat beans for a week to pay my stylist..what is brave about letting your hair go gray? I want to look polished and put together always and that starts with my hair…
Comment #31 by Melody PinkNovember 3rd, 2009 at 8:01 pmIm a stylist as well. I was going to say basically the same thing as angie above. Gray hair is aging… with a lot of effort and everything else pulled together you could be the person that girls look at and think “she is rocking that salt and pepper!” but without it, grey hair just looks unkempt.
to save on costs, you could get a demi- permanent hair color that matches your natural (before the grey) it wont get every grey hair but it blends it away and your grow out is much softer. You don’t end up with a landing strip of white on your part in 3 weeks. My guess is that you are not nearly that grey yet, I think your best bet is some subtle highlights, it just disguises your grey and with intentional lighter pieces, your grow-out isn’t as noticeable. Let me know if I can help stacy_tay@yahoo.com
Comment #32 by StacyNovember 6th, 2009 at 10:14 pm