Why is it that my school-age child loves to sleep in while my toddler is up at the crack of dawn?

Why is it that everybody else’s kids are angels during sacrament meeting while my toddler makes a beeline for the pulpit every chance he gets?
(Possibly he has a message for the congregation?)

Why is it that my hair looks GREAT on days when I don’t have anywhere to go?

Why is it that other moms with nursery age children feel the need to stay in the nursery, prompting my toddler to wonder why his mom doesn’t love him as much?
(This is a pet peeve of mine — the nursery leaders will get you if there’s a problem, people. LEAVE!)

Why is it when you are asked to substitute teach Sunday School, you never get more than 2 days notice?

Why is it that all the pregnant women in the ward (there are 7 of them) are due within 6 weeks of each other?
(This is the second time this has happened — it might be time to check the water in the fountains.)

Why is it that Teletubbies is allowed on the airwaves?

Why is it that when other people’s kids do something, it’s cute, but when your own child does it, it’s disruptive?

Why is it that people feel that it’s appropriate to give a four year old a recorder (flute-type thing) for her birthday? Do they secretly hate us? They want us to live with loud squawks all day every day?

Why is it that if you pack the first aid kit every time you go to the park, nothing will happen, but the one time you forget it, there’s a problem?

And why is it that I feel the need to blog while my child happily breaks the remote and sucks on the batteries?