By Heather O.
I have very vivid memories of trick or treating as a kid. I remember one time, I saw that the woman had to leave the TV to answer the door. There was another person on the couch, and the two of them were obviously watching a movie. I could not possibly have been older than 8, and I distinctly remember thinking, “Those poor people. Watching a movie on Halloween! How boring! Too bad they can’t have fun, like I’m having.”
Last week, that memory flashed into my head again, only this time, I was standing in the middle of a dark street, trying to keep track of my son, who was running with a pack of boys, while pulling my toddler in a Red Flyer wagon (who, incidentally, went trick or treating in her swimsuit. Her brother’s old Spiderman boots added a nice touch, though.).
This time, I didn’t pity the couple in my memory. I understood them perfectly.
Our Halloween was full of fun, and probably was one of the best Halloweens my kids have ever had. But they weren’t the only ones who passed out at the end of it. I totally would have turned off all the lights and popped a movie in after the kids were in bed Saturday night, only I couldn’t have kept my eyes open if you paid me.
So it occurred to me that I’m officially a grown up. Adulthood isn’t defined by a mortgage, or a car that doesn’t break down every month, or by having to mow a lawn without getting paid. It means that snuggling on the couch watching a movie on Halloween looks a whole lot more fun than dressing up and begging for candy. It means breathing a sigh of relief when the whole holiday is over, that you don’t have to think about costumes or candy for another year.
I have arrived. And I’m okay with that.
On another sort of random note, I put paprika in the corn chowder I was making tonight. Paprika. If paprika isn’t a grown-up spice, I don’t know what is.
What defines being a grown up for you?




The second the words “because I said so” came out of my mouth was my defining moment as a grown up. Also, having to buy make-up, not because I wanted to put it on but because I felt like I HAD to or I would probably scare a lot of innocent people.
Comment #1 by mellocelloNovember 4th, 2009 at 5:18 pmFour digit paychecks and then realizing we can actually afford the houses that we like.
Comment #2 by kewNovember 4th, 2009 at 6:30 pmThe moment I realized that I was a full DECADE older than Miss America. And that was five years ago.
Comment #3 by AngelaNovember 4th, 2009 at 6:43 pmI think it means being more excited at the mention of a corn chowder recipe than at anything about Halloween night. How’d the paprika work out for you?
Comment #4 by HeidiNovember 4th, 2009 at 7:04 pmPaying property taxes.
Comment #5 by The WizNovember 4th, 2009 at 7:04 pmThe paprika worked out nicely, thanks. It was a random addition, mostly because the chowder was a random “what are we going to eat, I haven’t gone shopping this week” kind of meal. It consisted of frozen corn, cream, dried onions, dried carrots (both from my food storage—toldja it was last minute) and fresh garlic. Added some salt, pepper, and paprika, told DH to pick up some sourdough bread on the way home from work, and viola–chowder. Not exactly gourmet stuff, but the kids ate it.
Comment #6 by Heather O.November 4th, 2009 at 7:16 pmWhen I learned my high school friend, a fellow geek mind you, was somehow the legal counsel for the governor of Utah.
And paying an account to handle our taxes.
Comment #7 by ZinkaNovember 4th, 2009 at 7:19 pmI knew the rest of the world saw me as an adult the first time the grocery bagger called me “ma’am.”
I felt like an adult inside only after my parents were both gone.
Comment #8 by Ardis ParshallNovember 4th, 2009 at 7:58 pmWhen I saw my son’s heart, after they had to crack his chest open for a second time, after open heart surgery.
Comment #9 by Melissa McNovember 4th, 2009 at 8:34 pmWhen my kids asked me why Daddy wasn’t going to live with us anymore.
Comment #10 by Tracy MNovember 4th, 2009 at 8:48 pmWhat defines being a grown-up for me? Being the person who has to put Christmas together or it won’t happen.
When did I know that I was grown up and there was no going back? Probably had something to do with a couple of miscarriages way back when.
And, Melissa Mc, I would ask where your son’s surgery was done, (some surgeons routinely leave the chest open, some don’t), but I don’t know if you want to discuss that here.
Sigh. Hospital memories. I’d better go to bed…
Comment #11 by ResearcherNovember 4th, 2009 at 9:03 pmWhen I started TiVo’ing Barefoot Contessa on The Food Network and asking for a good set of knives–Henckels!–for Christmas. Mind you, I’m not married and don’t have kids.
Comment #12 by IzeOfLightNovember 4th, 2009 at 9:19 pmI felt like an adult when getting the mail became more about bills than correspondence. Researching health insurance options for my kids and me. Checking my credit score.
Comment #13 by Mrs. MNovember 4th, 2009 at 10:14 pmWhen most of the other moms in the ward had kids younger than my youngest
Comment #14 by mormonhermitmomNovember 4th, 2009 at 11:07 pmStaying up until 3:00am ON A SCHOOL NIGHT.
Other Grown-up Things:
Comment #15 by AzucarNovember 5th, 2009 at 2:53 am1. No one else mops the kitchen floor
2. You decide how much TV everyone watches
3. You can eat all the ice cream you want
4. You’re in charge of diaper purchase and wipe storage
5. You make the schedule and everyone has to follow
When you stick your toddler’s rejected half-chewed food in your own mouth rather than find a garbage (or wiping it on the nearest article of clothing or furniture). But perhaps that’s not so much adulthood/parenthood as sheer exhaustion/laziness.
Comment #16 by Joy TNovember 5th, 2009 at 8:39 amRealizing this morning that the symptoms of a mild concussion are not very different from normal “side-effects” of pregnancy and that neither gets me out of changing my toddler’s dirty diaper.
Comment #17 by kaduseyNovember 5th, 2009 at 8:41 amWhen I realized that the 15 year old boy chatting it up with me backstage during a play performance was in fact young enough to be my own son.
Also the moment I drove home from the hospital with my first baby and feeling like I couldn’t believe they were going to trust me to take this child home and care for it.
Comment #18 by KamiNovember 5th, 2009 at 8:42 amWhen I became the YW President and realized that I was the same age as my favorite YW President was when I was a teenager, and then realizing that I used to think she was so old and that’s how my Young Women view me. I’M NOT OLD! You won’t believe me until you’re my age and then you’ll see! You’ll see!
Comment #19 by StarababaNovember 5th, 2009 at 11:12 amWhen my son kept calling for mommy, and I realized he was calling for me.
Comment #20 by ModdyNovember 5th, 2009 at 12:04 pmWhen I realized that if I didn’t make the doctor appointments, no body would.
Comment #21 by MelindaNovember 5th, 2009 at 12:46 pmWhen I bought a deep freezer.
Comment #22 by m2thehNovember 5th, 2009 at 1:14 pmI don’t know. Everyday I realize how much like a teenager I am.
Comment #23 by Susan MNovember 5th, 2009 at 2:56 pmI am not sure when I became old but I was recently reminded when I saw the way my neighbor and friends 10 yr old daughter was looking at me and realized she was thinking I was old (mother of 4, parent of her friends) and I said to my husband that I don’t feel as old as she thinks I am!!!!
Comment #24 by Domestic DivaNovember 5th, 2009 at 4:53 pmAs a side note, we watch a movie every Halloween after DH takes the kids trick or treating and it is something I look forward to every year
Looking forward to sleep rather than trying to avoid it.
Knowing that if I don’t do it, no one will. (Like picking up the used Kleenexes that fall behind the trash can).
Comment #25 by meemsNovember 6th, 2009 at 2:20 amLooking forward to sleep rather than trying to avoid it.
Knowing that if I don’t do it, no one will. (Like picking up the used Kleenexes that fall behind the trash can).
Comment #26 by meemsNovember 6th, 2009 at 2:20 amGoing to WalMart and having to spend my last $5 on a plunger instead of buying that carton of Ben and Jerry’s.
Comment #27 by SarahNovember 6th, 2009 at 10:43 amAlthough I was a college graduate and fully capable of supporting myself, I was really thrown into grownupville with my marriage at 22 years old. At 23 I was the one having quarterly telephonic parent teacher conferences with my stepson’s high school guidance counselor. I was 27, when DS graduated, and the counselor realized I was not his “mother.” In four years she had never spoken to him once; thank goodness I made those calls.
Comment #28 by JJNovember 6th, 2009 at 2:47 pmI can remember the moment when I realized I was a grownup: I remember going to a party with some high school friends who were all recent newlyweds. I didn’t live by them; I was just visiting for Christmas.
One of them said something about how fun it was to all have husbands and be cooking as she showed off some dip she made in her brand spankin’ new Crockpot. I nodded, but on the inside I was laughing.
I knew my Crockpot at home looked well-loved, and I would never waste its capacity with making something as silly as a dip–not when it could turn dried bean soft in record time. My then eight-month-old and husband were depending on me, and if I didn’t cook we didn’t eat.
More recently, I was disgusted when we got some college-aged trick-or-treaters the Halloween! I wanted to tell them, “When I was your age I handed out the candy!”
Comment #29 by DeniMarieNovember 6th, 2009 at 10:49 pmWhen I took my college-age brother to move into his USU dorms and realized that I no longer blended in.
Comment #30 by Laurel C.November 7th, 2009 at 2:32 pmI realized I was grown-up when I signed my first set of mortgage papers. I remember thinking that I couldn’t even conceive of what it meant to be into the bank for a 25 year amortization, because I was only 22 years old. 25 years didn’t even exist for me. But the thought of it sure made me feel old.
Comment #31 by mitsyNovember 8th, 2009 at 11:54 pm