By Heather O.
Last night (or, rather, this morning) my daughter woke up screaming for me with a terrified and pathetic wail. I rushed into her room, and picked her up. She continued to sob, and wrapped her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist. I shushed her, told her “Mommy’s here, you’re okay” and carried her back to my bed with me. I tucked her under my arm, and felt her relax as she pressed her little body into mine. I stroked her hair until she finally fell asleep.
If only parenting was always this easy.
By and large, my kids do okay. My son is loving school, and has good friends. But there are the days when he comes crying because his best friend was mean to him, or he felt left out by the pack of boys in the neighborhood, or because his teacher was unfair. These are all things that are a normal part of growing up, the difficulties of navigating through a world that isn’t always friendly. And no matter how hard we work to keep our families strong and happy, our children are going to get hurt by something or somebody somewhere. It’s part of the mortal experience.
But I can’t pick up my son and have him wrap his body around me like a monkey and stroke his hair to tell him everything is going to be okay. I can guide him, I can advise him, I can listen to him, I can hug him and tell him how much I love him and how special he is. But learning how to get through this world is a part of living in it, and our children have to get through it, one way or another. And when I see my strong, confident, smart, social son struggle, I worry even more how my shy, quiet, sensitive daughter will manage.
After she fell asleep, my daughter occasionally stirred, whimpering. She would twist her body until she found me, and would relax again when she felt my hand or my back. Just touching me was enough to reassure her that the monsters she faced in her dreams had no power over her.
So bring on the nightmares at 4am. My mommy powers are still strong enough for those kinds of demons. And if anybody knows how to use mommy powers to fight the rest of the demons our children have to face, I’d love to hear about it.




I’d like to hear about it, too. I felt so overwhelmed at the end of Conference about all that lies in front of me to do.
Comment #1 by StrollerbladerApril 22nd, 2010 at 1:19 pmDitto.
Comment #2 by Tracy MApril 22nd, 2010 at 3:12 pmUm… I convinced my son that monsters were very conscious about their health and only ate celery to keep their fur smooth and carrots to help them see better in the dark.
Take comfort in the sure fact that you have Mommy Powers that take away the fear. My adopted teen daughter’s therapist informed me today that DD is terrified of me with a deep seated fear that may never allow her to have a normal parent-child relationship (or any other’s for that matter.) Although I already knew that, it wasn’t comforting to hear that not only can I not make the monsters go away, I am the monster.
Comment #3 by JCApril 22nd, 2010 at 5:31 pmMy greatest comfort always comes in the knowledge of Who else is parenting these children of mine. (And, as much as I love and appreciate my husband, he’s not the “Who” I’m thinking of.)
Comment #4 by EmilyApril 26th, 2010 at 1:57 pmI am a father of a 4 yr old boy and 2yr old twins and I’ve contemplated sharing our stories of my kids, but people would probably think we’re insane. My wife just started blogging so we can make it a journal at the end of the year. It’s fun to go back and see the fun times, it helps with the hard times.
Here’s a tip if interested: Our kids wanted to play my guitar, but think its more of a jungle gym instead. I found a children’s keyboard and thought maybe others would find it helpful because it teaches kids to play piano as young as 2 yrs old. The owner of the company gave me a 15% off code and said I could share it with others to help him out. The keyboard is at www.mormonmarket.com. It’s a new company and the owner is really nice. The coupon code is MOSIAH2.
Comment #5 by DamonNovember 8th, 2011 at 1:39 pmBoth of my kids are in for a pretty rough time in life as they are both on the autism spectrum. The best I can do is help them cultivate the confidence to live a good life and find beauty wherever they can. I cerainly can still pick up my 13-year old son or my 8-year old son and hold him and hug him until the monsters go away. I can offer pearls of wisdom knowing that my children don’t have to take my advice. I can be coach, cheerleader, and defensive line all at the same time. I can show my kids that it’s ok to cry and that it’s ok to feel bad. I can show my kids how to pick themselves up and keep moving forward. I can help my kids overcome obstacles and can celebrate with them when they overcome obstacles all on their own. As moms, we can only do what we can but when we look back, I think most of us will realize that we’ve worked miracles along the way. Thank you, “mommy powers.”
Comment #6 by SamanthaNovember 8th, 2011 at 4:53 pm