Ken asked me that on Sunday. Ken is not a volunteer with Sustain Haiti, but he’s an American who went to Haiti to scout out ways that he and his family could help. He hooked up with Sustain Haiti through a mutual contact, and we all spent a pleasant evening talking NGOs, Haitian culture, American Aid, pros and cons thereof, and just general fun conversation. As we walked back to his truck, he asked me, “So where will this trip leave you?”

I told him I didn’t know. I know that I’m going to curl up with my husband tonight and probably cry a lot. I know I’m going to have to think more about it all, to process it a lot. I know that I also will never be able to watch the Keira Knightley version of P&P without thinking of Haiti, as it was that soundtrack that helped me get through the difficult Haitian nights. Without a/c, the nights were unbearably hot, and while sleeping outside helped with the temperature issues, the streets were loud all night, loud with traffic, goats, roosters, and fighting dogs.

I’m not making that up. Not a single solitary word. Not even to be funny. And I have never heard roosters crow so loud in my ENTIRE LIFE.

So at the very least, the trip will leave me thoughtful, saddened, and more grateful. And way sunburned—oy. But I think I’ll be wondering where it left me for quite a while.

I’ll post some pictures soon for those of you who are interested. Right now, though, I’ve got to get on a plane and go home and kiss my husband and hold my babies for a long long time.