By Heather O.
Sorry, I just have a few more thoughts about Haiti, and then I’ll shut up about it already.
(Probably.)
(Maybe.)
(Ok, in all likelihood, probably not, but let’s just pretend for a second.)
Haiti is hot. I’m sure y’all knew that, and I’m sure y’all know what hot is, but it’s hard to fathom hot without a/c, without a break, ever, from the heat. Even the nights are hot, except for a brief moment during the rain, but even then, when it stops raining, it heats up again, only with more humidity. I knew it would be bad, and I wasn’t caught unaware, but even being prepared doesn’t make it easier to bear. Eventually, you just endure it, because you have no other choice.
Because it is so hot, wearing closed-toed shoes is sort of a joke. Who wants to be sweating in socks and sneakers the whole time? Also, who wants to have to wash disgusting dirty socks at the end of the day? The result is that even though I spent a majority of my time gardening in Haiti, I did it in flip flops. They were cool, and at the end of the day, it was an easy matter to pop them off, wash off my feet with the water from the pump, and walk around the house barefoot, which had the extra bonus of keeping our house cleaner.
It also meant that at the end of the two weeks, my flip flops were thrashed.
The part that goes between my toes kept pulling out, and I was constantly repairing them. Also, they got so threadbare that in the airport on the way home, I could feel the rivets of the moving walkway through my shoes. They are also so overused and melted that they have expanded, and are slightly out of shape and bigger, making it more difficult to walk in them. All in all, it’s time to toss them, and pull out (or buy) another pair.
I can’t bring myself to do it.
I’m not sure why. After all, I’m not throwing out perfectly good shoes–like I said, they are well and truly thrashed. And they weren’t expensive, either. I think I paid $5 for them at Target. But I can’t decide if it’s the memory of children in Haiti walking around in shoes in worse condition (or no shoes at all) or the picture of pulling sandals out of rubble that could have belonged to anybody that is keeping me from doing it. It’s silly, I know. But I wore those sandals all day today, thinking of Haiti.
I don’t know how long this will last, the wonder of small things like sandals, or of running water, or of roads that are well paved with traffic lights. I don’t know how long it should last, if there is an appropriate length of time to what people have referred to as re-entry. I don’t know if I want it to go away, the wonder and gratitude at the world. But as Mr. Bennet says, the feeling will pass, and more quickly than it ought to (or something like that. Y’all know what I mean)*.
In the meantime, I’ll keep living my life, doing the laundry, cleaning up after my dog (who vomited twice on the day after I got home. Welcome home, indeed) and loving on my kids (although Little Sister won’t physically leave my side, and after seeing kids living in such grim circumstances, the very fact that my own child is driving me bonkers leaves me with no small amount of guilt). The world continues on, and I continue with it.
But for now, I’m keeping the flip flops. Perhaps they’ve got some wear left in them yet.
* Apparently y’all DON’T know what I mean, because the wiz emailed me and told me she didn’t have the first clue as to what I was referring to. It’s from Pride and Prejudice, when Elizabeth is talking to Mr. Bennet about how her uncle laid down so much money for Lydia to marry Mr. Wyckham, and that he’s utterly ashamed of himself, because he should have taken better care of his daughters, but that the feeling will pass, and more quickly than it ought to. That’s what the heck I’m talking about. Apparently not everybody is as obsessed with P&P as I am….




You weren’t there long enough for your blood to thin. Trust me. I served my mission in Brazil and by the time I left, the 60 degree “winter” I had there felt like the most freezing subzero experience I could imagine. When I saw the thermostat and realized it was 60, I knew I’d lost my mind. That first winter at home was a little jarring to say the least. And missionaries can only wear flip flops in the shower. Not that I wore socks with my sandals though (so glad I wasn’t an elder). I could not physically keep most of my shoes on my feet to bring them home–despite many tubes of superglue. In a world where roads are not paved, shoes have a rough life. And I will probably always be haunted by some of the circumstances of the people I loved there. Some re-entry time is needful, but your experience will hopefully have changed your heart and your outlook in some ways forever (personally, I cried every day, at least once a day upon return from Brazil, for a month). It’s been almost 15 years. I don’t cry anymore, but sometimes I still get lost in a trance, remembering, praying gratitude for the ease of my life, praying worries for the people there who will never even be able to imagine such ease.
Comment #1 by angie fAugust 5th, 2010 at 7:45 pmYou should frame them and hang them somewhere you can be reminded often of your experiences in Haiti and how blessed we are here. Then you can keep them forever but not ruin your feet over them.
Comment #2 by StarababaAugust 5th, 2010 at 10:07 pmAnd I thought you were talking about when Mr. Bennet told Kitti that she would soon get over not being able to go to Brighton with Lydia, but then I’m probably remembering it wrong. And I totally think you should keep them, not keep wearing them (they sound painful) but keep them somewhere to remind you of your time there.
Comment #3 by moddyAugust 6th, 2010 at 7:31 amOh and thank you so much for all your posts from Haiti, all I can say about them is WOW!
I knew exactly what quote you were referring to in P&P. I am a die hard Colin firth BBC junkie. I agree you should jeep them as a reminder of your experience. Think of the FHE lessons you can have with those when your kids are older.
Comment #4 by christyAugust 6th, 2010 at 8:48 amI would like my comment to be exactly the same as the first-very well said, Starbaba. They would make very touching & beautiful reminder - wall art, no matter their condition.
And, I only knew what you were talking about because I have a preciously P&P obsessed teen daughter
.
Heather O-thank you for sharing your experiences. Your whole series has been very special.
Comment #5 by the mrsAugust 6th, 2010 at 10:58 amThank you!
I think what you have just experienced in Haiti was intense. Many missionaries coming home from foreign missions undergo the same process of decompression.
Just like astronauts returning from space, it takes time to get your earth legs back.
Be kind to yourself and I vote yes to shadow boxing your flip flops. They are the universal shoe of most impoverished countries.
Comment #6 by living in zionAugust 6th, 2010 at 1:56 pmThanks so much for these posts. I hope you’ll continue to post more thoughts on your experiences in Haiti. I haven’t commented much, but I’ve loved reading them.
Comment #7 by Melinda in the Jello BeltAugust 6th, 2010 at 8:13 pmI for one hope you don’t stop writing and decompressing here.
I’ll never forget the first morning home from my mission and putting my feet onto carpet. I felt so many things from gratitude to guilt, all at once.
p.s. I like the idea of framing your flip-flops.
Comment #8 by MichelleAugust 6th, 2010 at 11:36 pmI knew what you meant. I love Mr Bennet.
Keep your flip flops. Keep them forever. Eventually life will be normal again and they will always serve as a vivid reminder of where you went, what you saw, what you thought, what you felt, and what you did. They have transcended existence as mere plastic flip flops, worn out or no
Comment #9 by mitsyAugust 7th, 2010 at 6:20 pmHeather, thanks for sharing your experiences with us. It has been very humbling. I’m sure you will always have a piece of this experience with you.
Comment #10 by MollyAugust 7th, 2010 at 8:47 pmI recognized the reference immediately and I thought it was a perfect quote for your situation and your transition to go back to life as usual.
Comment #11 by jksAugust 8th, 2010 at 9:38 pmEven if you don’t keep the flip flops, take a photo of them and you’ll be able to remember what they meant.
Comment #12 by jksAugust 8th, 2010 at 9:39 pmHeather I’ve just read through all your Haiti posts as I wait to take girls to YW camp.
Whoa.
Thank you for sharing your journey. Best Wishes in dealing with the emotional aftermath. Being worried about girls camp going well seems a bit trite now. I’m glad your posts could put it in perspective for me.
Comment #13 by jendoopAugust 9th, 2010 at 8:10 amI’ve been on a reading vacation for a few weeks and today finally had time to sit down and read all of your posts.
I want to tell you how much you inspire me. I can’t even put it into words. I can’t imagine seeing all the help that is needed and feeling so helpless…yet not. I’m sure your visit brought so much to their lives.
Thank you for taking time out of your life to give service to those who need it most. You have done well. You are a good and faithful servant.
P.S. I definitely think you should shadow box the flip flops.
Comment #14 by AmandaAugust 9th, 2010 at 7:14 pmI knew which Mr. Bennett you were referring to, just not the exact convo. I haven’t been following your Haiti experience until this post. My Aunt and Uncle adopted a young girl from Haiti this Spring. I live a few states away and haven’t had the chance to meet her yet. I’m sure she must be having culture shock also.
Off to read through your previous posts…
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