By The Wiz
Them: “Cute pants.”
Them: “I like your necklace.”
Me: “Thanks. New York and Company.”
Them: “I like your shirt.”
Me: “Thanks. Target.”
Um….WHY do I feel the compulsive need to tell people where I buy my clothing when they don’t ask? EVERY TIME! I think it’s a throwback to my high school days when “cute shirt” was pretty much always followed up with “Where did you get it?” It was like, conversationally required or something. I think it was a sort of meant to be taken as “if-I-know-where-you-got-it-than-I-can-get-one-too”, but for some people it was a sneaky way of asking ‘how-much-did-you-spend.’ And the more you spent, the cooler you were. (i.e. ‘Nordstrom’ was a better answer than ‘Wal-Mart’) Now, it’s kind of the opposite. The less you spend, the cooler you are.
So now I have to pre-empt the ‘how much did you spend’ non-question by shouting out ‘TARGET!’ ‘MY SISTER GAVE IT TO ME!’ ‘CONSIGNMENT STORE!’ OK, I don’t really shout. I just speak in a normal tone of voice.
And I do LOVE consignment shopping. I have a pair of True Religion jeans that I paid $35 dollars for. If I’m wearing them, you can bet I’m telling you that, too, or at least the consignment part. I don’t walk around spouting prices, except for, um, just now. Because even though I love how the jeans fit and look, I do not want people thinking I can spend $200 on jeans. Obviously, I still have issues with what other people think of me. Hmmm….I should work on that.
(I actually didn’t know True Religions were that much until after I got them home and googled. And I’m guessing most people don’t recognize the brand and think ‘expensive jeans’ the second they look at me. But I have to tell you where I bought them, JUST IN CASE.)
In the meantime, if you tell me “I like your shoes”, I’ll probably answer “Thanks. Payless.” Sorry if that’s annoying.
Do you do this too? Does it bother you if others do it, or do you like knowing where clothes came from?




To make up for your compulsion, I’m now going to say “bespoke, Saville Row” every time I get a compliment on my clothes (which, admittedly is a rare thing).
But actually: I like knowing where clothes came from. My grandfather was a great bargain shopper (which is how as a freshman at Provo High I came to wear such labels as Neiman Marcus, WillieWear, and Colours by Alexander Julian — all bought on super sale from Emporium Capwell’s basement [before outlet shopping became a thing]) and he was always proud to announce the provenance of his clothes. Rather than false humility, it is an expression of your commitment to quality and fashion at the right price.
Comment #1 by Wm MorrisAugust 19th, 2010 at 10:55 amI do the same thing! Especially to my sisters. I admire frugality in other people and it has become rather vogue to search for the best bargains.
I’m never prouder, though, than when I have actually made the item in question. I’m not an artsy/crafty person, so when I make a necklace or a little-girl dress that people admire, I proudly tell them that I made it. Vanity, I know, but there it is.
Comment #2 by Jessie T.August 19th, 2010 at 11:05 amI do the same thing and have also thought how funny it is that I feel the need to - might have something to do with upbringing and whether or not frugality/bargain shopping was taught as a virtue in the home. I CAN’T STAND the thought of someone thinking I’m wasteful or materialistic because I have new/cute clothes. I have a sister-in-law who is the same way. Every time someone admires her beautiful wedding ring, rather than just say “thank you” she has to clarify “It’s fake. I bought it for $25 online.”
Comment #3 by LindseyAugust 19th, 2010 at 11:36 amI’m so glad I’m not the only one! Except, I always add the deal, as in, “Thanks! It was 90% off at Dillard’s!”
Comment #4 by ColletteAugust 19th, 2010 at 12:29 pmGenerally, I just say thanks. But if it’s my sisters asking (I have 4), then I tell them where. Although I have one sister who has been known to look down my back at a tag to find out for herself. I guess we’re just used to being in each others’ clothing business. I have one family of girl cousins that are wholly devoted to bargains–with the exception of one sister, who has been known to buy full retail priced clothing, not at Target. The rest of the sisters openly ridiculed her lack of frugality over one pair of expensive jeans she bought, itemizing for her all the things she could have purchased in place of that one pair of jeans. So perhaps in that family, expression of clothing provenance is self defense?
Comment #5 by angie fAugust 19th, 2010 at 12:55 pmUsually I’m doing the asking. No one wants to know where to buy a tent-sized shirt. (Satan’s Shopping Center /a.k.a. Wal-Mart, thanks for asking!) And always, without fail, the owner bought it/received it 4 or more years ago so I have no hope of finding one just like it, ‘cos that’s how I roll.
Apparently, I am not allowed to own shoes, purses, or jewelry the same as anyone else’s.
And neither are my kids.
Stupid Universe.
Comment #6 by SallyGirlAugust 19th, 2010 at 1:23 pmI do it too. And I love hearing a good story about someone else saving money!
I agree that as I’ve gotten older, it’s more about how LITTLE money I spent than how much. I also personally don’t care what the brand name is as long as it looks really cute and fashionable on me (or the person I’m complimenting). You can buy a blouse at Nordstrom’s and it looks horrible. Or you can find a trendy one at a consignment store and it’s everyone’s favorite. I like this part of maturing–everyone has kinda chilled out and it makes life easier!
Comment #7 by LindseyAugust 19th, 2010 at 4:46 pmYes! I have had to make the conscious decision just to say thank you. Unless it really was some huge, crazy bargain. I especially find myself feeling guilty if I got something from a nice store–even though it was on crazy-good sale–because I feel like I need to justify why I would buy something from a more expensive store.
I definitely think this might be a Mormon thing since we’re all taught to be frugal, thrifty, whatnot. But I’ve come to the realization that I’m the type of person who sometimes spends a little more on a shirt I REALLY love, vs. spending less on a shirt I only like….so I now try not to worry so much about what other people think and just be comfortable in my own shopping decisions. Whether it was from target/forever 21 or Anthropologie.
Comment #8 by MiggyAugust 19th, 2010 at 4:47 pmCan’t help it. It just spews out of my mouth: “Thanks! 75% at Target!”
And I think you’re right on about all the reasons for doing; Left over High School habit, not wanting to seem pretentious, etc.
Drives my husband crazy.
What he REALLY hates though is when he overhears this:
friend: “Oh, you have such a cute figure!”
me: “Thanks, but they’re not real.”
;)
Comment #9 by Emily in JapanAugust 19th, 2010 at 5:52 pmYep, totally guilty on this one.
Comment #10 by ColleenAugust 19th, 2010 at 6:23 pmAdd me to the list of women who share the details even though not asked. My line is usually, “Thanks! I found it on clearance at ….” I’ve never felt bad about it. Should I? I figure I’m just giving people a heads up on where they can find great deals like me.
Comment #11 by Normal Mormon WifeAugust 19th, 2010 at 7:49 pmBecause I HATE, no not strong enough - LOATHE shopping, I honestly don’t notice other people’s clothing all that much, but if people compliment my clothing, I am almost so taken aback and I throw out all the info - “Thanks, it was only $5 at K-Mart, Crazy huh?” Further, because I am such a freak when it comes to bargains, I am one who likes to spread the whole deal thing, too.
Comment #12 by RenaAugust 20th, 2010 at 8:14 amEmily, you are a scream! You really admit to augmentation? Do you have implants? or just padded undergarments? We are talking about butt-cheeks here, right?
Comment #13 by martaAugust 20th, 2010 at 9:08 amI do I do I do.
Comment #14 by ESOAugust 20th, 2010 at 9:55 amEmily, thanks for the laugh! I have a friend who says the same thing, she just loves to see people’s reaction.
Comment #15 by moddyAugust 20th, 2010 at 10:08 amI have a shirt that says MOM-Must Obey Me and every time I wear it someone asks me where I got it because they want one. I am embarrassed to tell them I got it at K-Mart.
Comment #16 by m2thehAugust 20th, 2010 at 11:26 amOh. my. gosh. I do this too, Wiz. I must stop. Although it is kind of funny when someone says, “cute shirt!” and I say, “Thanks, Costco.”
Comment #17 by meemsAugust 21st, 2010 at 10:27 amI love Costco for clothes.
Comment #18 by The WizAugust 21st, 2010 at 12:18 pmI totally do that!
Comment #19 by HilaryAugust 21st, 2010 at 12:32 pmI just say thanks. I grew up with a little more money that most (most of the places I lived) so I was always tight-lipped about that sort of thing.
Comment #20 by jksAugust 21st, 2010 at 12:42 pmI don’t care if the jeans I buy are $100 or $8 as long as I can afford them and they actually fit (I’m tall) and look good (I want clothes to be flattering). I think it is lame to be braggy about getting good deals all the time (although being happy about a good deal occasionally isn’t braggy) or shopping cheap as well as being braggy about name brands or shopping good quality or expensive stores or high prices.
Shopping is a skill and an art. Some people are really talented or practice a lot. I don’t like shopping and would rather go less often and get fewer deals and crappier quality but actually spend less because I don’t shop much.
So the more people brag about their deals, the more I think they spend all their time being materialistic and shopping and buying way more stuff than they need…….so then I think that they are actually wasting their money.
I hear you. I totally get it, too. I used to suck at shopping. Now I rock at it, thanks to Alicia at chic on a shoestring. And I have spent more on jeans than I care to admit, because there is NOTHING WORSE than ill fitting clothes, which is basically all I used to wear.
I think part of why I do it as well, is because that’s how I think of my clothes - my ‘old navy shirt’ or ‘costco jeans’ or what have you. So when people comment, I just mention it because that’s what I’m thinking, and heaven forbid I have a thought I don’t verbalize.
Comment #21 by The WizAugust 21st, 2010 at 1:46 pmHmmm. I got in the car with my parents and sister and when they said they liked my sister I lit up and said “I bought them in Arizona when I went to visit other-sister.” So, apparently, I thought about my buying experience and mentioned it because it was happy, special and I thought they’d care.
Comment #22 by jksAugust 22nd, 2010 at 1:11 amPerhaps that is why people do it. They immediately think about choosing it, trying it on, making the decision to buy it, and buying it. And then they want to share the memory either in one word “Target” or in a larger sentence “I found it on the 75% off rack!” because it was such an exciting find….or even an indecisive buy that is now being validated.
Interesting.
Forgot to proofread. They liked my skirt. And I bought it in Arizona.
Comment #23 by jksAugust 22nd, 2010 at 1:12 amI do it, too…because I know when I tell people something is cute, I’m really thinking “where did you get it, I want one, too!” But sometimes Im too embarrassed to actually ask. So I try to make others comfy when they ask me and just tell them straight up. And if I got it recently for a good deal, I tell them so, so they can take advantage of it, too.
I do consciously try to accept compliments though, and not ‘justify’ them. Especially if someone just says “you look cute!” I say “Thank you!” and nothing else.
Comment #24 by OliveAugust 22nd, 2010 at 4:52 pmNope. The thought has never crossed my mind. That’s weird.
Oh, wait, I’m a guy. Never mind.
Comment #25 by RayAugust 30th, 2010 at 7:23 am