By Heather O.
I’ll admit it. I’m addicted to Facebook. It’s almost as bad as my blogging addiction I had a few years ago. I used to think that I got over my blogging addiction, and I was all, “Yeah, I’m totally off the blog, dude” until I realized that I had just replaced my one addiction with another. Like the alcoholic mother in ‘When a Man Loves a Woman’ (which is, like, SO 90s, but still, such an awesome flick) who replaces drinking with smoking cigarettes, I had simply replaced blogging with Facebook. And sadly, right now, I think I’m okay with that.
So the other night, I was thinking about asking a friend from high school to be my FB friend, which reminded me of another friend, which made me realize I hadn’t seen her posts lately, and I wondered what was up. So I clicked on her name, and (GASP!) she had deleted me as a friend.
Now obviously we’re not exactly close friends, because I actually have no idea when she deleted me, which means that when she disappeared from my news feed, it took me a while to notice. But still, getting deleted? What does that mean? Did I offend her? Did she simply purge her friend list to include people she actually talks to IRL? Did I talk too much, post too much, bother her in some way? WHAT WAS IT???? So now I’m all in a tizzy, all over a person who, before FB, I haven’t had contact with in over 15 years.
See how bad addictions are?
Maybe I should take up smoking.
In other areas of craziness, the other day I was at the post office with two toddlers and a package to mail. I was watching my friend’s daughter, who is a year younger than my daughter, and lest you think that I had lost my mind in taking two children under the age of 4 into public, I must tell you that this package had to be mailed THAT DAY. So I braved it, and was pleased to see there were only a few people there. And actually, there was nobody in line, at least nobody I could tell, just a woman standing, writing out some things on an envelope on the counter in front of the actual customer counter (does that make sense?). Anyway, I took my place in line, and was trying to keep it while simultaneously making sure the two little girls weren’t tearing the place apart. In taking my eyes away from the line, the woman then CUT IN FRONT OF ME, without ceremony or conversation. It was deliberate. I was shocked.
SO shocked, in fact, that I gave her the meanest look I could muster, and burned it into the back of her head, where I’m sure she felt the full power of my rage.
Okay, so maybe she didn’t feel the full power of my rage, because in actuality, I WIMPED OUT of saying anything. And not because I’m a nice person. If I was a nice person I would have just shrugged it off because it’s not that big of a deal and who cares if she takes 5 minutes of my day away by going first. But because 5 minutes with two toddlers, one who is just recently potty trained, can be the difference between a successful outing and one that rivals chernobyl in both levels of noise and toxic explosions, I was ticked. But only in a wussy, passive aggressive way, which made me even more ticked.
Luckily, a nice man took up the line behind me, laughed at the girls, and then jumped to the rescue when we heard the inevitable, “Mommy, I have to go POO POO!” by cutting in front of Cutting Woman to say to the man behind the desk, “This mother needs some help. Is there a bathroom back there she can use to help her daughter?”
So then I felt grateful, sheepish, guilty, and passive aggressive, all at the same time.
It was worse than my issues with Facebook.
Maybe I should just stay home and play Wii.
Anybody else as crazy as me?
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