By Tracy M
Well, I’m doing it again. Here goes nothing. Again. Last time I did it, I lasted all of what, four days? I think I’m at about that now. I learned a few things before- and this time I jumped the gun and laid down not only very specific perameters that locked out the octogenarians, but I’m also skipping the LDS sites and going traditional. I know, I know. but hear me out…
This picture is what one of the LDS dating sites tells me dating should look like. Is anyone else completely running to gag? I’m a 38 year-old divorced mother of three, going to school full time and balancing a crazy busy and full life. Making jazz-hands and group dating? Not gonna happen! Now, I know that’s directed at the twenty-somethings, and maybe that’s awesome for them. Knock yourself out, kids- have at it, and make some jazz-hands for me. I’ll just harumph over here in the corner while y’all have fun.
Do I sound like a little black raincloud yet? Really I’m not. I’m pretty happy, all things considered- I just figured 18+ months out, I should probably toss my hat back in the ring and see what happens. My expectations are low- based particularly on the two Single-Adult Firesides I’ve attended in my area. One was a stake thing, one was regional- both were abysmal.
So I filled out a profile on a regular dating site, but was very specific about being LDS. I guess I forgot how much everyone else drinks, because I’ve been checked out a couple hundred times, but completely rejected for my unwillingness to go wine tasting more than once now. Hey, I’m a good designated driver! In all seriousness, what’s a woman to do?
I’m caught between two worlds. The pool is unimaginably shallow for men in my demographic if I want to stay exclusively LDS (and really, brass tacks? I do) - and the pool is crazy insane if I head out the door with a guy who is not. So I keep wading through the emails I’m getting- and the irksome”winks” (Am I the only one who thinks a guy sending a virtual “wink” is kind of creepy?) to see what might eventually come through.
Does this mean I’m not ready to go on a date? I don’t think so- I’d love to go out to dinner and have a good conversation with someone. I’m in a pretty good place emotionally and am not on the prowl to get hitched right away. As the only divorced mama in my ward (for reals) I’ve seen others rush into marriages that happened in only weeks. Maybe this is normal for LDS folks, but the convert in me is still completely freaked out at the idea of jumping the broom with someone I hardly know. Especially when you factor in my three children.
So a date. That’s all I’m looking for, really. I’d like him to be sane, employed, not live with his mother, and reasonably intelligent. Tall order? Maybe. But that’s how I roll. Wish me luck, mamas…