By Tracy M
Ladies, I come before you a desperate Mama in need of advice, suggestions, or anything that may help. My oldest child is 4 1/2. We also have a 2 1/2 year-old and one due to make an appearance within the month. For those of you that might not know me, my pregnancies are brutal, and this one has been horrid. I’m about a month from delivery, and I have lost almost 5 pounds for my total “weight-gain” for this pregnancy- I don’t recommend the morning-sickness diet to anyone. I also began dilating at 27 weeks, and was told to “stay off my feet”. Uh, sure, and my other kids will do what? Needless to say, things in our house have not been “normal” in months. My mothering has been less than stellar, and my kids now “play-barf” in their pretend kitchen. Lovely!
There are so many things not going ideally at home, picking out the worst one is kind of like shooting ducks in a barrel. But the one that is breaking my heart is what brings me to you. My 4 1/2 year-old son is really showing the ragged edges from having mama sick for so long. He is acting out in all sorts of ways, including aggression towards his brother, his dad, and me. He is angry and frustrated often, and gets so mad he begins to shake and scream, and I feel completely unable to help him through this. I don’t even know what to do. He is willful and purposefully disobedient- even in the face of a direct request from his dad. And the situation goes downhill from there.
We have tried to be consistent in our rules and discipline, but the truth is, things are so chaotic and difficult that we have often failed. Now he doesn’t seem to care what the consequences are of an action, he ignores us and does what he pleases. What do you do when a child so young looks you in the eye and tells you “NO”? He knows I am physically unable to move or restrain him, and dad is gone all day. We are sliding down a slippery slope…
So we have a very sick mom, a dad working full time (at a new job) and taking care of much of the home stuff, because I cannot, and a little boy who is about to explode with all of his emotions. I feel like we are in a pressure cooker, and someone closed the steam valve.
To be clear, he is a sweet, wonderful boy most of the time, and this behavior is recent and due (I think) to my constant sickness and inability to do anything physical (ie: bedrest) When this baby is born and I can return to normal life (if sleep deprived- which sounds wonderful compared to how it is now), things will get better, but I can’t just leave him hanging in the wind until then. Has anyone been in my shoes? Does anyone know any good books or have any sage advice? It is seriously breaking my heart to see my child so angry and hurting, not knowing how to help him.
So, I ask you, my fellow mommy-friends, to please share any pearls you might have. I’m worried the thread we are hanging from is beginning to ravel…
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