By Heather O.
I’ve been trying to think of anything momentous that happened this year, and I can’t think of anything. It’s been a pretty quiet year. We didn’t go anywhere where somebody was speaking a foreign language, we didn’t buy a new car, or repaint our house, or buy new furniture. We *did* get a puppy, as well as some new bookshelves for our bedroom , so, you know, that’s something to put in our Christmas letter. Although I didn’t do Christmas cards or letters this year, because I just didn’t have it in me. Sad, but true. Next year. Maybe.
But our bishop, a super goal oriented guy if there ever was one, has challenged everybody in the ward to set some goals. Spiritual ones, specifically. And I’ve been thinking–what does it mean to have a spiritual goal?
Does it mean more scripture study? Our family could definitely use more of that. More FHE? We’re pretty good at that, but have let things slide recently. More prayers? We pray as a family every day before school, so while sometimes it’s rushed, it’s built into our routine pretty well. Dh and I could do better praying as a couple, I guess. It used to be a habit, like brushing teeth before bed, but we’re not nearly as good at it as we used to be.
All of these are great, and we should do them, but I’m wondering, is there more?
As for other goals, like everybody else, I’d like to lose a pound or two, strengthen everything up a little bit, maybe run a race again. (I haven’t run a race in a long, long time. Injuries will do that to a gal.) I got a juicer for Christmas (oh my goodness I am geeking out about it) and I really hope that I can incorporate that into a healthier lifestyle that can help me feel good, both physically and emotionally. For me, those two things are very closely linked.
Other than that, my goals start to get vague. The Wiz always says vagueness is the bane of goal making, and that you have to put specific numbers on things in order to be successful. She’s right. But I’m too vague to figure out what I really want. And “10 cups of fresh OJ a month” seems kind of silly.
Silly but delicious. And doable. Maybe that’s the best kind of resolution.
What do you think about resolutions? Do you have any? What are they?
I love New Year’s Goals. Most of mine are carried over from the previous year — either because I want to continue in the habit I’ve formed (or am still forming)(temple attendance, fasting, learning new songs on the piano, practicing guitar, exercise) or because I didn’t even come close to accomplishing it (Hello, kids’ baby scrapbooks.) I like to keep track of my success so I cross off each month’s initial on my goal sheet everytime I go to the temple or fast and I add a hash mark when I practice guitar or learn a new song/hymn on the piano. I keep the sheet on the wall next to my sink, so I see it everyday.
So, yes, make a goal sheet and start hash-marking those cups of OJ per month! Cross off a day for everyday you have family scripture study.
Happy New Year!
Comment #1 by StrollerbladerDecember 31st, 2012 at 2:46 pmTotally unrelated to the post, but, um the link “The mother in me” is NOT what I’d expect to see here. Not sure if it’s supposed to be ‘that’. ahem. I have the book “The Mother in Me” so I thought I’d click the link. Hmmm. EEK!
Comment #2 by TyDecember 31st, 2012 at 3:32 pmThanks, Ty. Deleted. (My guess is that the domain name expired, as the book came out a while ago, and then somebody nasty picked it up.) We don’t like to link to nastiness.
Comment #3 by The WizDecember 31st, 2012 at 5:06 pmmight check some of your links too., several are not what you originally linked to I am sure At least one has moved so far from its original that I am sure might like to reconsider your link.
Comment #4 by jennifer ruebenJanuary 1st, 2013 at 12:37 amOh my. If I start thinking about all the things I should do that I don’t, I think I’ll have a panic attack. I have two things I’ve decided to make my resolutions this year. I hope by starting small I can actually manage something.
How does praying as a couple work, anyway? I’ve never had the chance to see it. Does each person take a turn being the “Pray-er” while the other listens reverently? Do you take turns saying different parts of a prayer? Do you just kneel quietly together, praying silently and separately?
Comment #5 by Proud Daughter of EveJanuary 1st, 2013 at 5:50 amOur couple prayer is thus: I say the prayer on odd days, my dh on even days. Then, it is just like any other prayer you pray with a group — meaning the pray-er says the prayer and the other person says amen at the end.
) We pray, then we read 10 verses of the BoM together. Then he goes to sleep and I go spend more time on the computer or watching TV. 
)
Comment #6 by StrollerbladerJanuary 1st, 2013 at 2:37 pmI’ve got 13 goals for this year. Some of them are pretty vague, like “more loving, less yelling”, and “be more awesome”, but some are specific, like “do 1 load of dishes and 1 load of laundry a day minimum” and “floss daily”. I like to think of goals as where I’d like to be rather than as a perfectionist all-or-nothing gamble. If I miss a day, oh well, I’ll try again the next day. My overarching theme for the year, though, is to stop worrying so much about whether other people are happy with me, or are judging me, or whatever, and start spending all that worry time on trying to be happy, and helping my husband and kids be happy.
(Also, I’m really liking Daring Young Mom’s recent Drops of Awesome post, and am trying to focus more on positives than on negatives for the year.)
Comment #7 by kaduseyJanuary 1st, 2013 at 3:40 pmThank you, Strollerblader. I’d like to try something like that. My husband is Catholic though, so I’ll have to see how it works.
Comment #8 by Proud Daughter of EveJanuary 1st, 2013 at 5:27 pmMy husband is a still-attending-but-not-really-believing Mormon. I think he still believes in God and Jesus, but am not positive. (Can you tell that he doesn’t like to talk about it?!) But we started couple prayers a year into our marriage — about 16 years ago now, when he was still true blue. Prayers and scripture reading are one daily ritual I hope we keep up despite our religious views, but we shall see. It is a nice time that we keep every night.
My late-50’s year old friend just started saying prayers with her non-member husband a few weeks ago. She said to him that she’d like to start praying together, and would he mind? And he said sure, so she will say prayers together with him now. I think she always prays, but your husband may feel comfortable praying for both of you.
The tricky part with couple prayer, especially with marriages like these, is to make sure that what you pray for/about applies for both parties and that they would agree with all things said. So, I say vaguer prayers during couple prayer (either knowing that he’s on a different page than me, or just not knowing where he stands) and I keep all the other stuff for my personal prayers.
Comment #9 by StrollerbladerJanuary 1st, 2013 at 8:30 pmTwo goals of ours are more technology-focused but they’re set to make us as a family stronger. 1. One 24-hour technology hiatus every month. That’s no computers, no cell phones, no tablets/Kindle/ianything, no TV (exception being if we decide to do a movie night - but no mindless tv watching just for tv watching). This may not sound like a big deal but my husband is very very connected so it’s huge for our household. 2. No more mindless internet browsing. Do what you need to do and get off. SPend that time you would have spent randomly surfing with the family, raking the yard, cleaning the basement (ug, another goal of mine this year!), etc. Again, the focus is on being ‘present’ with the family.
We’ve done one 24-hour technology hiatus thus far and liked it (though my husband may have had some withdrawel) so here’s hoping we can keep these goals.
Comment #10 by JELJanuary 3rd, 2013 at 8:48 am