By The Wiz
Recently I was asked to think about what hell would be like. Apart from the usual wailing and gnashing of teeth, I came up with the following:
Hell is a place where you are forced to take family pictures all day with extremely small children. (Have you ever tried to do this? It’s like herding cats! Oh, and hell is full of cats, too.) You never actually get a picture out of it.
Hell is a place where you are 8 and 1/2 months pregnant all the time (The heat! Think of the heat!) but never have the baby. You are also forced to take family pictures while you are this pregnant. (You look great! Nobody will even notice your belly! Turn sideways, please.)
During this family picture taking day, “Teletubbies” is playing constantly.
The only food in hell is processed cheese.
Hell is trying to explain to your boss why she is an idiot, while still being diplomatic and managing to keep your job.
Hell is a bikini wax.
Hell is realizing you actually paid for the privilege of sitting through “Star Wars Episode 2:Attack of the Clones” –aka Worst Movie Ever
Hell is holding a one year old while he gets vaccinated.
The Millennium better come soon, that’s all I have to say.
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