By The Wiz
Ok, so I have decided that I want to go back to the old days. Not that far back, mind you, I have no interest in churning my own butter or whatever. And usually, I am in favor of progress. But still, some progress is bad, and I want to go back to the days when one particular aspect of mothering was much easier and cheaper.
I have yet to meet a mother who doesn’t, at some point in her life, put her child in front of a movie to get a break. Now, yes, some mothers do it more often than others, and we can get into a whole doomsday debate about how much is too much, etc. But I have decided that I want to go back to the days prior to DVD’s. I hate them. I really hate them. Bring on the VHS and pop it into the VCR, because I know, without a doubt, that no matter how long we’ve had that movie, or how many children have drawn on it with Mommy’s favorite, one-time splurge of 15 dollar lipstick, that when you put in into the machine, it will work. I have no such promises with DVD’s.
DVD’s have their good points - yes, you can skip the previews, yes, they often have games, and extra features, and the digital quality is blah-de-blah-blah. But trying to keep it unscratched, unfingerprinted, and generally unscathed is more hassle than it’s worth. Kids know which DVD is which, and Toddler-man has his favorites, so much so that he likes to climb up on the shelf, open the case, and carry around ‘The Incredibles’ (arguably Pixar’s best work) until the back is so destroyed that I have to desperately try and find another copy, since our DVD cleaner is no match really for the fingerprints of a two year old who has played in the sandbox, had a PB&J for lunch, and is in the middle of potty training. (Yes, we do a lot of handwashing in this house).
Also, he destroys my girl’s movies without my knowledge, and I unknowingly pop a random Barbie movie into the machine, looking forward to my break, only to hear 20 minutes later shrieks of “MOOMMMMMM!!! IT”S NOT WORKING!!” Then I have to try and clean it, which if it works, great, but if not….. “THAT WAS MY FAVORITE MOVIE EVER!!!! NOW I’LL NEVER SEE IT AGAIN!!!I’M SO SAD, MY LIFE WILL NEVER BE THE SAME! WHY DID YOU LET HIM GET THE MOVIE?!!!!”
I never had this problem with VHS. When my oldest was little, she used to carry around her copy of ‘Little Bear’ with much love, and she would pound it on the walls, and try to stick into every slot possible, and draw on it with Chapstick, and yet, when it came time to actually watch it, it still worked. And yet, I gave that up for the privilege to pay more for destroyable movies. Life was so much easier then…..
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