By Heather O.
Dear People Who Make Movies for Kids,
I just want to thank you for your recent movie “Curious George”. I recently saw it again with my 4 year old son at a special “Summer Movie” screening in my town. It is possibly one of the silliest movies ever made, and I mean that in the best sense of the word. When you have an entire theater of 4 year olds laughing because George puts a sandwich on his head instead of the yellow hat, well, you know you’ve hit gold.
Please make more movies like this. And stop making movies like Chicken Little.
Chicken Little is, in a word, lame. And I don’t mean that in the best sense of the word. I mean it’s lame in the sense of “Who on earth thought that kids under the age of 6 would find a movie about scary aliens really fun?” And you know it’s the kids under the age of 6 who are watching it, because the older kids have already figured out that it’s lame.
And what’s with the whole complex family relationships you’ve got going in that show, huh? Like 4 year olds care about “closure” with their fathers, or can identify with deep seeded needs to prove themselves to fathers who just don’t ‘get’ them. Again, those are issues that older kids are dealing with, and again, older kids ain’t watchin’ ’cause they’re hip to your lameness.
Please stop making movies like “Robots”. It’s a seriously creepy world with adult innuendos and constant jokes about a woman’s robot butt. And the message of “You can shine whatever you’re made of” just doesn’t translate very well to a kid under 8. Refer to the above discussion about lameness regarding why kids over 8 aren’t watching. And seriously, there ARE other actresses besides Joan Cusack who can be a character’s voice. Besides, every time you use her, it confuses the kids because they keep saying stuff like, “Hey, it’s Jessi! Is Bullseye in this movie, too? I want Woody!” And since there is nobody even half as cool as Buzz Lightyear in “Robots”, you can see the mother’s dilemma.
Please note. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO ENTERTAIN ADULTS WHEN YOU MAKE A MOVIE FOR KIDS! I am not offended when my kid is laughing at something I recognize as inane humor. I do not attend animated shows because I personally find them inspiring and uplifting and I’m intrigued by the computer graphics. I buy animated shows to keep my son from driving me up the wall. I go to theaters because it’s too friggin’ hot to take my kid anywhere else and the neighbors are tired of him knocking on their doors demanding to know when their kids will be home. I park him in front of the TV so I don’t have to play lightsabers with him for the billionth time that day. These are my goals. Notice that “entertain myself” is not among them.
And please don’t make another movie where I have to explain why the Cat in the Hat says “Awkward!” when the boy tells him that the woman that made the kitty go “schwing” is his mother. And that was just from a preview.
Curious George Fan
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