By The Wiz
……I am ‘Aunt Jane.’ I’ve decided I’m tired of hearing “Mommy, can I…?” “Mommy, where’s……? ” “Mommy, can you….?” So for today, I have informed my children that they are to call me ‘Aunt Jane.’ For today I am she.
Aunt Jane rarely has to deal with poop, so the occasional blowout is no big deal for her. Aunt Jane lives alone and has very little laundry, so doing more than one load at a time is a pure joy simply because it’s different. And who likes cooking for one? Aunt Jane is thrilled to be able to cook for a family.
I wish Aunt Jane had a lot of money so she could buy extravagant Christmas gifts, but Aunt Jane still enjoys Target and Costco, and being able to chat with kids about Tamagotchis as she shops is nirvana simply those kids are way cute and smart.
Aunt Jane is a sharp dresser, complete with make up and accessories. Jeans and a sweatshirt are not an option. Nope, bring on the groovy boots and sassy denim jacket. She might even peruse the jewelry counter for a great necklace to complete the outfit. Jane does not worry about various bodily fluids being deposited on her clothes, because she is ignorant of such things, and as we all know, ignorance is bliss.
Maybe Jane will even get her eyebrows waxed, after all, she tends to her appearance regularly.
Aunt Jane loves my children, and today, she is simply going to enjoy them. The occasional discipline issue? That’s Mom’s problem. Jane couldn’t care less.
Jane might leave my house tonight to go see a movie - ‘Stranger Than Fiction’ has caught her eye. Or maybe she’ll just curl up with a good book, once Dad gets back.
Yep, definitely Mom is out today. Aunt Jane is in the house.
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