By Heather O.
Seriously. Why don’t mothers have soundtracks to their lives? I want one. Right now.
I’m not talking about a soundtrack of my life. I already have that. It consists of the theme song from Dora, the theme song from Diego, every Veggie Tale silly song known to man, and Primary Songs from our CD sung by little kids who sound just slightly creepy enough to make you wonder if they are really vicitms of some bizarre brainwashing scheme and are wandering about with their arms outstretched and a blue light shooting out of their eyes.
I also could even say that I have a soundtrack from my own childhood. That consists of memories of my mother singing/shouting over me and my sister’s fights, “LET US ALL SPEAK KIND WORDS TO EACH OTHER!!!”, my mother singing “Good morning to YOU, good morning to YOU!” as she sashayed through our rooms on Saturday mornings, and every Suzuki Flute piece known to man, some played with ear-splitting awfulness by my mother’s flute students.
But I want a soundtrack for my life. You know, if they were ever to make a documentary about my life (which would be, of course, an absolute thriller. Get out the butter flavored Orville Redenbacher for that one folks, ’cause you’ll just be riveted). For example, when I was pregnant, the song, “Downtime” from Jodee Messina seriously got me up off many a bathroom floor. I would puke, wipe the vomit from wherever it had spewed, and would literally have to say out loud, “You’re ok.” Then the lyrics from Jodee’s song would pop into my head:
And I tell myself that everything will be just fiiiiiine.
I’m just goin’ through a little downtime.
So, there’s one. I would also like the song “Simply Irrestible” playing while I was doing something amazing, like, you know, making dinner. I mean, seriously, doesn’t that song describe EVERY mother’s life? Think how awesome this shot could be–a little slow motion of me pulling something out of the oven, steam wafting artistically, me bringing the dish to my nose to sniff, closing my eyes to enjoy the smell, then opening my eyes for a little wink at the camera. I know you can see it, and you are even getting just a little bit hungry, thinking about what I could possibly be winking about.
The song, “She’s a maniac” from the 80’s would probably be appropriate too. I can’t remember any other single lyric than “She’s a maniac, maniac, duh duh duh duh duh”, so it might have an entirely inappropriate connotation, but still, the title seems to aptly describe my life on numerous occasions.
Another song from the 80’s that I would incorporate would be, “I need a hero”, from Footloose. This song would be played as I surveyed the mountain of laundry, the overflowing dishes, and the sticky floor. And just as I was wilting, the camera would cut to the door, and DH would come in. My hero! Zoom in, Zoom in….Oh yeah, baby, fresh from the fight, ready to save the house from certain griminess. I love it.
Ok, that’s all I’ve got so far. I also really like the Jack Johnson song from the Curious George soundtrack called “Upside Down”, but I don’t know all of the lyrics yet, and since that CD is in the car, and I’m in the house, we all know how likely it is that I’m going to get out of this chair and get my sorry butt to that car that I have just spent over 3 hours in. (See previous post. Yes, I just drove down from DC today. Yes, I listened to LOTS of soundtracks in the car with my small son today. Yes, that has made me slightly nuts, and yes, that is why I am demanding a soundtrack for my life own life right this minute. The song from “Trout Fishing in the Dark” about a road trip comes to mind to describe that scene. The only words I can remember are “We go on and on and on and on and on and on…”. Yeah.)
Anyway, let’s share, ladies. What songs would you put on YOUR soundtrack? And don’t only stick with your favorites, here. Let’s get some description going. I mean, I like the song “I like Chinese” from Monty Python, but that’s hardly meaningful, is it.
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