By The Wiz
We have been invited to my DH’s company Christmas party Winter Soiree. The invitations says ‘cocktail attire’. What, exactly does that mean? I just keep thinking about ‘Pretty Woman’ where the woman says to Julia Roberts “You’re going to need a cocktail dress.” And then Julia has this little black number on, that’s pretty much my only point of reference. But, see, Pretty Woman was a long time ago, and I cannot pull off the same kinds of clothes that Julia Roberts can. Sartorial experts everywhere - (Carrie!) - free advice is requested!
Links to pictures would be appreciated, so I have examples of what I can wear. Mostly I want you to come into my closet and tell me that yes, I can wear that top, it’s not too fancy, or no, you can’t wear that one, it’s not fancy enough, but I don’t see how that’s possible over the internet. I’m pretty sure I’m not the only clueless person getting invited to parties, and frankly, I’m tired of sweating this out every year. So could someone smarter than I am define ‘cocktail’ versus ‘black tie invited’ versus ’something else?’ Thanks for your support.
Find someone in your ward/stake who is in the same business that your husband is. Ask them where they shop for their evening wear.
Also, go to Nordstrom/Lord &Taylor/ Similar (high end department) and ask for modest evening wear.
“Black tie” would mean, a prom dress or similar, cocktail means dressy non-formal.
Comment #1 by Ola SenorNovember 3rd, 2006 at 12:43 pmCocktail attire usuallly means a suit for men, and a cocktail dress for women. Normally, a cocktail dress is a shorter-length dress (yes, the “little black dress” is actually a perfect example).
Comment #2 by JinjerNovember 3rd, 2006 at 12:53 pmThink “little black dress.” Cocktail attire usually means shorter dressy attire - no long gowns, but still quite dressy and elegant. Nordstrom, Banana Republic, JCrew, Ann Taylor - all have sections on their websites devoted to cocktail dresses/little black dresses where you can get some “mental pictures.” The hard part will be finding something with sleeves that is still cute.
Comment #3 by SueNovember 3rd, 2006 at 1:06 pmOops, Jinjer beat me to it!
Comment #4 by SueNovember 3rd, 2006 at 1:06 pmUgh. I dread this every year. When we go to my dh’s “winter soiree” (ha ha!)I hate having to find something to wear.
Indeed, as already mentioned, the Little Black Dress is de riguer for cocktail parties, However, what’s a Mormon woman to do??? It’s gotta come to the knee- at least, it can’t have a plunging back or front, and cap sleeves at least. It’s darn near impossible…!
What I usually end up doing is going with as tasteful a dress as I can find, so far settling for sleevless if the rest of the requirements are met, and just pairing it with a cute sweater or shrug, thus solving the sleeve problem.
Pain in the tookus. Good luck!!
Comment #5 by Tracy MNovember 3rd, 2006 at 1:15 pmOk, so I HAVE a black dress that’s shorter, but it’s a wrap dress. Is a wrap dress appropriate, or does it have to be tight and sparkly? I just don’t think it’s dressy enough, but then, I’m not quite sure. Maybe it is? Maybe length is the only major requirement for cocktail vs. formal? I also have to find some decent hose. ugh.
Comment #6 by The WizNovember 3rd, 2006 at 1:35 pmI think the wrap dress would be fine, but maybe with a nice jacket and purse to spice it up alittle??
Comment #7 by AmyNovember 3rd, 2006 at 1:41 pmWhat about something like this?
http://www.target.com/gp/detail.html/ref=br_1_10/602-9450256-0475848?ie=UTF8&frombrowse=1&asin=B000EF3P1M
I saw a brown version of this at Target the other day and thought it was so cute.
Also, try Ann Taylor, they have such cute things. Otherwise, I have no idea. Good luck!
Comment #8 by MaryNovember 3rd, 2006 at 1:58 pmI feel your pain - my hubby’s first party we showed up in dressy business attire, like the invitation said and saw people in tuxes and formals and promptly drove 20 minutes home to change! I guess its better to err on the side of too dressy for the “cocktail attire” so it will just look like you made a fun night of it? Whenever we go formal I pair a simple black dress with a sequined sparkly sweater and that seems to work well. This year we’re skipping it because I’ll be 34 weeks pregnant and nothing will fit anyway!
Comment #9 by EmilySNovember 3rd, 2006 at 2:45 pmWiz-
I know that Shade Clothing has a new dress line coming out this month called basic black. They are high end dresses, (they cost more than your average target number) But they are perfect for your “coctail” parties and the like.
The website is still in its beginning stages, but here is the link if you are interested.
They are only making a few of each style, so you won’t see your dress everywhere.
If you want to order something use the shopper code BEN7506 and you can save 10% on your first online order, or 5% on every order after that.
disclaimer–yes, I do work for shade, but you can only get your dresses on line, not through me.
Comment #10 by AbbyNovember 3rd, 2006 at 3:08 pmLink didn’t work I am new at this
Comment #11 by AbbyNovember 3rd, 2006 at 3:11 pmI’ve also had to attend many coctail attired events. I have found that a dressy skirt with a beaded formal top works very well. It looks classy and you can always find the tops with sleeves. Lord and Taylor seems to carry them a lot. Although you may have to look in the ‘old lady’ section!
Comment #12 by RyannNovember 3rd, 2006 at 3:24 pmIn my experience, a beaded formal top would also work with black slinky knit pants, if you are more comfortable with that kind of thing.
I tried posting a link but it was incedibly long–go to JC Penney and click Women’s > Occasion Pants
The main thing is to be comfortable, so that you can enjoy yourself and be charming. And if you’re not used to wearing a cocktail dress much, then a dress per se might not be the best choice.
Comment #13 by NaismithNovember 3rd, 2006 at 5:38 pmafter agonizing over this same situation last year (and i was a new mommy and didn’t have my waist back yet) I got to the party to discover that people show up in just about anything. “nice” church dress–the type you’d wear with hose–seems to be what most people think “cocktail” dress is nowadays. i remember seeing a neighbor leaving for a cocktail party when I was in high school and she was in a grace kelly type of fluffy froufy gorgeous thing. she said that it was “cocktail” length, meaning mid calf–capri length. but no one really dresses like that anymore.
Comment #14 by AlisonNovember 3rd, 2006 at 6:49 pmOkay, so this is the picture from my husbands Christmas party last year (without our heads). I’m in the black. My dress was a little low cut, but it worked. It had sleeves, and it was long enough. My friend in the red just had that shirt and a pair of nice black slacks. I think it just depends on what your comfortable with. You can bet there will be some people just in pants and a nice shirt, but there will be others who look like their going to the prom.
Cocktail dress definition: “A cocktail dress or cocktail gown is a shorter-length lady’s gown worn at cocktail parties and other semi-formal and formal occasions. Less elaborate versions may be worn at semi-formal occasions when gentlemen are in dark suits. (When gentlemen are in business suits, ladies also wear dress suits or “good” afternoon dresses). A longer, full-skirted cocktail dress may accompany black tie” events (thanks Wikipedia.com!)
Comment #15 by trivialmomNovember 3rd, 2006 at 7:13 pmGreat advice….
For any more, I would get a hold of tftcarrie at Tales. She is the QUEEN of fashion and would be a great help when it comes to accessories…
Comment #16 by CherylNovember 3rd, 2006 at 9:05 pmWiz,
I know your pain. Here is a post I wrote last year, which is actually from a comment I made here on this blog.
I think you could definitely wear your black wrap dress with the proper accessories. Pick one stand-out item - shoes, necklace, or bag and then have the rest of the accessories be fabulous but subtle. I have a black wrap dress and a black shirtdress (both from Banana Republic) that I bought years back. I still wear them both all the time for fancy occasions with new accessories.
This year, I will quite possibly wear my downeast basics black wrap dress to the holiday party (I just tried to link to it, but it is no longer on their site–real bummer). I got this tank from Target that adds a nice sparkle underneath. Target also has some real fun (and expensive looking) accessories right now. They have a lot of vintage looking stuff and some real glam stuff too.
I will say again, I love the look of a fitted, classic white shirt tucked into a slim black skirt with great shoes and an interesting necklace. It’s a more sophisticated and chic look because the last thing you want is to look like you are heading to the prom.
I can’t say I would go with slinky pants and a modest sequin top. You could end up looking more jewish mother-in-law instead of vibrant young mom.
Nothing would please me more than going through your closet and helping you brainstorm ideas. I love that! But all of these comments from your friends will have to do. You’re going to look great as long as you remember to dress like who you are (except with a few more sparkles).
Comment #17 by TfttCarrieNovember 3rd, 2006 at 10:44 pmI really like Apostrophie, located in the Gateway (they’re a chain with locations all over). They have a lot of little dresses with a retro feel, but not too much retro. A lot of their stuff could fit the cocktail dress description. Lots of short dresses in many fabrics.
Comment #18 by maraliseNovember 4th, 2006 at 1:09 amI am pretty sure that is it any dress that produces cleavage.
Good Luck!
Comment #19 by CourtneyNovember 4th, 2006 at 3:47 pmP.S. Mara did you mean Anthropologie or is there another store and the Gateway that I am missing out on?
Comment #20 by CourtneyNovember 4th, 2006 at 3:48 pmYes….thanks CJane. Anthropologie. I couldn’t figure out why nothing came up when I searched Apostrophie. I used to be blonde, can you tell? AUGH!!!!
Comment #21 by maraliseNovember 6th, 2006 at 2:30 amI have the same problem every year. Only this year I am preggo and the only place to find affordable prices on a nice dress is motherhood. Only the really cute ones are all sleevless.Augh! I did find one but I will have to wear a tank underneath because the neck line is to low.
I don’t think it has to be to fancy. A simple black dress would be fine just use some acessories to jazz it up. Like a sparkly necklace, earrings or braclet. A cute little purse, too.
Good Luck!!!!!
Comment #22 by ErinNovember 6th, 2006 at 12:44 pm