By Heather O.
Yes, it’s true. I had heard that this particular pediatrician was, um, shall we say, “hip” with maybe a whispered ‘ee!’ at the end, and I had even heard he had a long ponytail, but I was still not totally prepared for the young hip doctor with a pony tail and the skinny goatee that started in the middle of his chin and crawled down his neck like a giant fuzzy caterpillar who boomed into the tiny and poorly lit examining room to rescue my son from his 103.7 temperature. And wow, that was quite a sentence, if I do say so myself.
Still, faulty flourescent bulbs and hipness aside, he had come highly recommended from a woman who qualifies as probably the most overprotective mother on earth. I like being friends with those type of women, because while they inevitably are shocked when I let my 4 year old jump into the deep end without floaties (Yes, he can swim, no, I’m not going in there with him, yes, he can make it to the wall, yes, he knows it’s the deep end, no, I’m not trying to deliberately drown my offspring), they also tend to be in the know about who is the best at what. And since I try as often as possible to limit my workload as a mother (read: Yup, lazy), I enjoy reaping the benefits of their psychosis.
The Dr. engaged J in a fun and yet not condescending way, and J even had the confidence to answer the question, “What’s goin’ on with you today, bud?” with a classic J statement.
“Well. There’s the coughing. And the barfing. And the feber.”
Dr. Goatee said seriously, “The Feber.”
J, “Yup. The feber. It makes my back hot, and Mommy has to give me medicene to make me cool.”
He did an evaluation, a flu test, and since J has basically been sick for over 2 weeks, prescribed an antibiotic, which I am reluctant to give him, but will do so anyway because everybody I’ve asked insists I will not be breeding a superbug in my son any time soon. I am confident that this pediatrician is fairly competent, what with Ubermom’s recommendation and all, but still, I have to admit that the whole time I was looking at the caterpillar-like thing on his face thinking, “Wow, is that even allowed?”
We ended the visit with the usual pleasantries, and then he said something that made me immediately loyal to him forevermore. After he handed me the prescription he said, “And if there’s a problem,or if things get worse, just call and we’ll try to take care of it over the phone. No sense in dragging your kid out again and paying another copay for a useless office visit.”
At last a doctor who really gets a sick kid’s mother’s dilemma. Maybe more doctors should have goatees.