By The Wiz
My husband and I were talking last night about our kids. (I know, shocker. Wonder what we’ll talk about when they move out. Golf, probably). We decided that one of them looks exactly like his mother, one looks exactly like I do, and one looks exactly like he does. This is not new information to us. We have thought that for a while, everyone tells us that we have one little me, and one little him, etc. It’s just not going to change anytime soon.
So why bring it up again?
When I had my first, I had in my head an image of what a baby of mine would look like. A little heart-shaped face, hazel eyes, and just the teeniest little thing you ever saw. Well, she came out round-faced, blue-eyed, and she could have been auditioning for the part of the Michelin Tire Man within four months. She was stunning (of course!), but not the baby I’d thought I’d have. This did not make me love her any less, but I was surprised every time I looked at her. Still am, sometimes. How could someone that looks like that come out of me? Then I look at my husband, and my MIL, and I know the answer.
Then my second was born (another girl), and they handed me this little alien baby. I knew from experience what my babies looked like. After all, I already had one, and a girl to boot. This child looked NOTHING like my first. She had really strange hair (my brother kept saying she had ‘mange’), she was beet-red, and was really just kind of scrawny looking. I always thought the nurses in the hospital told everyone their baby was gorgeous, but this time around I just didn’t hear it. As she grew (a major issue for her), she turned into the absolute cutest little pixie doll you’ve ever seen. And she started to look like me. Finally, I had the little heart-shaped faced, hazel-eyed girl I’d imagined.
Then I had my boy. He was so stinking cute at birth, the nurses wanted to take him home. He looked a lot like my first. And he has continued to be the cutest thing ever, and is a little clone of his Daddy.
I have a sister who has adopted a little boy. The first thing everybody asked me was did he look like her or her husband. They seemed to think that somehow, if he looked like he fit the family, then that would be a ’sign’ that he was sent to the right family. I’ve always found that question to be an odd one.
Do we think our kids are cute because they look like us? Deep down, are the people we find most attractive the ones that remind us of ourselves? Is that why married people look alike? And why are we constantly talking about it? Maybe it’s just another way of talking about ourselves.
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