By Heather O.
I feel I have to come clean, and reveal some secrets I have been keeping. After all, if anybody is actually going to be reading this site, she or he is entitled to know what kind of people we are here. And, you might not love us as much after this post, but it’s a risk we (or rather I, since really, it’s my post) are going to have to take.
1) I often base the level of necessary cleanliness of my house on the question, “If a firefighter had to troop through my house to put out a fire, would I be embarrassed if he came RIGHT NOW?”
Ok, that one probably deserves a small explanation. When I was in junior high, a wild fire threatened many homes in our area, and we were asked (ordered? I don’t know how it worked) to evacuate our homes. We were then told we couldn’t return for a day or two, not because our homes remained in imminent danger, but because they were moving large, heavy equioment over the roads, and they did not want local traffic getting in the way. At the time, it was a mighty fine adventure for a 12 year old who wasn’t in charge and knew there was no real danger.
Still, at the time when we got the call that our neighborhood was to evacuate, my mother started cleaning. Yes, she spent a half an hour CLEANING, because she said that if our roof caught on fire and firefighters were swarming through her house, she didn’t want them to think she was a slob.
What can I say, some things from childhood just stick more than others.
2)I buy “good food” for my pantry when I hire babysitters. I used to love to babysit for people who would say, “Help yourself to whatever is in the fridge”, and I, taking them at their word, would open a fridge or a pantry full of goodies that were never, ever, served at my house. I loved to babysit for these people. I vowed I would be such a person some day. I’m not. But I like to pretend. Besides, you can’t do too much to keep a good babysitter happy to come back.
3)I have absolutely no ethical, moral, or spiritual dilemma about zoning out in front of a “Lost” or “Alias” or “Buffy” DVD and watching all 4 episodes. In one sitting. Probably while drooling slightly.
4) I righteously avoid cooking or baking anything with hydrogenated oil in it for my family, and yet have been known to snarf an entire bag of Pepperidge Farm Soft Baked Chocolate Chip cookies, which have hydrogenated oil as, like, the first ingredient. Again, in one sitting. And again, probably while drooling slightly.
5) Sometimes in Sacrament meeting, I get distracted with playing with my 5 year old’s toys, and DH has to take them away from me so I’ll pay attention to the speaker. Party pooper.
So there you go. My deep dark secrets revealed. If any of you have any secrets to add, feel free to share. We’re an open community. Just don’t freak us out too much.
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