The last few days:

In Home Depot, buying knobs for the baby’s dresser: Hmm, yes, I could use that Snicker’s Bar.

Pulling out of Home Depot, passing a smoothie store: No, don’t need a smoothie.  The Snicker’s Bar was plenty.

Passing another smoothie store on the way home:  Well, shoot, buying those knobs was kind of stressful, I deserve a smoothie, don’t I?  No, not a power smoothie with all that good ginsing.  How about a strawberry chocolate banana smoothie with ice-cream instead of yogurt?

On the way home from preschool, passing a 7/11: My dearest offspring, you need a Slurpee, because it’s 90 degrees outside.  (J actually asked me, ‘What’s a Slurpee?’ Oh, the deprivation of this boy’s childhood!)What, you want some candy too? All right, just as long as we can share.  Oh, and that chocolate cream filled donut needs to be eaten right away.  I’ll just take care of that right now. Child, you don’t want your Slurpee or big bag of Sour Patch kids?  No sense in letting those things go to waste, right?

Leaving the hospital where I see my doctor, passing a bagel shop: Yes, I could use a chicken salad bagel sandwich, of course with just water to drink.  No sense in splurging on empty calories. Ooh, how much are the Ranch Dorito Chips–the big bag?

At a “graduation” party for preschool: Well, to just refuse to even sample the fondue with the marshmallows, pineapple, strawberries, and pound cake would be downright RUDE.  I am nothing if not a pleasant guest.  Hey, is that onion dip fresh?  I should eat some with these potato chips.  You know, just to make sure.

For dinner last night: A beautiful display of grilled chicken breast brushed with olive oil and lemon balm, accompanied by sugar snap peas from my garden, and a salad, comprised of freshly picked spinach, lettuce, and radishes, again from our garden, with red cabbage, carrots, and red peppers.

Finally, something righteous.

Wait, is that bag of chocolate chips OPEN?  Maybe I just need a few….