By The Wiz

1. (((hugs)))

   It’s a very real and crappy illness and if anybody but anybody says to you that you need to pull yourself together or therapy is lame, then I’ll punch them on the nose for you. All the while citing the “turn the other cheek” scripture and thinking what a bad example I am.

   (((hugs))) again, just for good measure.

   Comment #1 by ChrissieMay 26th, 2007 at 6:08 pm

2. People can be full of motes and beams in their eyes - that aspect of life can’t be helped. Too many amazing people in my family and circle of friends have been saved by therapy and phamecuticals for me to EVER knock it. Therapy saved my sanity after my parent’s divorce 10 years ago. You do what is best for you and your family.

   I ditto the hugs from Chrissie.

   Comment #2 by ZinkaMay 26th, 2007 at 6:42 pm

3. i have to say therapy is wonderful–when you have a good therapist that is. and i was on the drugs at one point in my life, and probably should’ve been at another, but my then EMT dh had seen too many instances of drugs gone wrong, so we worked thru all my craziness. Do what you need to–and know that H.Father loves you.

   Comment #3 by AlisonMay 26th, 2007 at 6:46 pm

4. could you get some for me while you’re at it! also, (((HUGS)))

   Comment #4 by AlissaMay 26th, 2007 at 7:09 pm

5. You go. The drugs have been (off and on…currently on) the best things that ever happened to me and a true answer to prayer. The therapy helped, too.

   Comment #5 by Julie PMay 26th, 2007 at 7:11 pm

6. Depression runs in my family. With my Grandma, it was never acknowledged. With my mother, it was all about the denial, and my sisters openly talk about their therapy, medication and how it has helped them. Congrats on getting help. I think the world would be a happier place if we could all admit we’re not perfect and that we all need help at some point.

   Comment #6 by anonMay 26th, 2007 at 7:33 pm

7. Good for you for getting help! Depression is very real and difficult. I hope you feel like yourself again soon.

   Comment #7 by MaryMay 26th, 2007 at 9:12 pm

8. Good for you. A couple of years ago one of the sisters in our ward who was a RN did a class on depression for homemaking. It was great. She said that if a dr told you that you needed meds for your heart for because you were diabetic, you would take them and most people wouldn’t question it, but the minute you talk about meds for the head up and people start judging you, which is so wrong. I’m so glad that you are going to take care of you, in the way that you need it. Good luck and hope that it works, and you start feeling like yourself again really soon!!!

   Comment #8 by moddyMay 26th, 2007 at 9:51 pm

9. You do what you gotta to take care of yourself!

   Comment #9 by Proud Daughter of EveMay 26th, 2007 at 9:57 pm

10. I used to think the way that you described in your post, but now I, too, have depression symptoms and it seems like I didn’t understand what others were going through–so now’s my chance to do so. I’m proud of you for seeking help. You deserve it.

    Comment #10 by JillMay 26th, 2007 at 10:04 pm

11. To quote my pharmacist friend “better living through chemistry”. If you need it, take it, and don’t listen to anyone who has negative things to say about it and that includes yourself because too often we deny ourselves what we need for whatever reason. Congratulations on finding help and remember if one antidepressant doesn’t work you need to try a different one. Good luck.

    Comment #11 by alaskagrandmaMay 26th, 2007 at 11:01 pm

12. Who thinks people who are depressed that refuse medication are strong? I think they are dumb and too concerned about what others think and misguided and and and. Do what you need to do, tell any naysayers to shove off and look forward to feeling better.

    Comment #12 by Jo in UtahMay 26th, 2007 at 11:52 pm

13. Over the last 5 years, our family has been through: unemployment, the resulting financial struggles, loss of health coverage, bankruptcy, my wife having to go to work so that we would have some kind of health insurance, which was literally a life-saver because my wife soon thereafter was diagnosed with breast cancer, which was followed by a round of chemotherapy, a mastectomy, a second round of chemotherapy, and radiation treatments. This last January, we had an attic fire caused by some faulty wiring, and when it took a little while to get some of our stuff from out of the garage and into a storage location, vandals broke in one night and took most of the “good stuff” in the garage and trashed a lot of stuff that they decided they didn’t want.

    As you might imagine, this caused my wife to go into a state of depression. The fire and the vandalism was pretty much the last straw. Eventually she decided that it was time to go to the doctor and get a prescription for some “happy pills”. Is she glad she did it?

    Yes, she is.

    Comment #13 by Mark N.May 27th, 2007 at 12:33 am

14. After 10 years, I FINALLY have the right doses and combinations of drugs. Several times I have wanted to harm myself, “just to see what would happen”.

    Sick, isn’t it? I kept thinking if I prayed enough, if I read the scriptures enough, was a better VT, or served people more, surely I would feel better.

    Nope.

    Because doing those things doesn’t cure cancer or diabetes or HIV either, and depression is just as much of a disease as they are.

    Cheers to getting better!

    Comment #14 by SallyGirlMay 27th, 2007 at 1:42 am

15. Drugs are sometimes my only exit from months of pain, fear, and self-induced loneliness.

    I never need them for very long, just enough to get me back on track and experiencing normal again. But every few years . . . sometimes you get to the point where you can’t handle it on your own.

    I figure that’s why God invented them.

    Comment #15 by EmilyMay 27th, 2007 at 10:38 am

16. You may also want to try adding a good Omega fatty acid supplement. When I got slammed with severe post partum depression after my third child, I took the so called ‘happy’ pills, but I also began reading and found out that a lack of the Omegas can cause a nutritional imbalance that can trigger depression in those people with the right genetic makeup. I now realize that I have always had a mild form of depression (runs in my family), and have been able to combat it with Omega Complex from GNC. Best of luck, and just know that we are all pulling for you!

    Comment #16 by tongancatMay 27th, 2007 at 8:42 pm

17. Don’t let anybody, including me, tell you anything.

    Comment #17 by Robert PedersenMay 27th, 2007 at 9:05 pm

18. Good for you. You are taking steps forward to better yourself, get your life back on track. What isn’t to be commended. If it takes drugs to do it, so be it.

    You’re doing a great job and I think that I speak for everyone commenting on this blog that we’re proud of you

    Comment #18 by chloeMay 28th, 2007 at 2:24 am

19. Depression runs in my family, and my DH’s family has been ripped apart by it. The thing that saved me was a vitamin and nutrient supplement called EmPower. I am not judging you, in fact I’m impressed that your able to make this decision for yourself. There are options out there that work besides the drugs, if you choose to educate yourself. Mental illness….is just that mental ILLNESS. I’ll be thinking of you in my prayers today.

    www.truehope.com

    Comment #19 by mommyof3May 28th, 2007 at 1:06 pm

20. Sending a big hug and thoughts of chocolate your way…
    I totally understand trying to “fix” it on your own. I tried for months before reaching the conclusion that my situation was beyond me despite prayers, doing service, reading scriptures, exercising, improving my diet, going outside each day, etc. My husband and I went to a counsilor from LDS services recommended by our bishop. She was helpful, but thankfully I was already starting to feel myself again after starting some medication. I was only on them for a few months and am pleased that I didn’t “need” them for long– just to feel like myself again.

    Do whatever “works” for you. And big cheers for making a huge decision to ask for help. For some reason, we women in the church often have to give ourselves permission to say, “I can’t do this anymore.” It takes a strong person to recognize a shortcoming and a stronger person to then take action. Good luck. Your are in my prayers. We’re all cheering for you.

    Comment #20 by KimarooMay 29th, 2007 at 1:50 am

21. If your house was wired incorrectly and could start a fire at any moment, would you pray it got better? Or would you rewire?

    To me, the meds are like rewiring.

    Peace to you -it’s not an easy road, still. It can take a long time to get to the right dosage, but you can do it.

    Comment #21 by mamamormonMay 29th, 2007 at 10:15 am

22. Looks like you have a lot of support here Wiz. I’m one of them. Been there, felt that, got the meds. And the counciling and the herbal pills and whatever else. I liked that when I went to my Dr. to finally get some meds he just looked at my tear streaked face and told me that it’s ok to take meds. There are some things that can not be prayed away and too many LDS women think that if they can’t then they don’t have enough faith or a strong enough testimony. He said all this to me and I felt better- after a few weeks on meds. I don’t need them now but seriously I have a yearly round of couciling- which I really actually enjoy. I send you lots of love!!

    Comment #22 by AmberMay 29th, 2007 at 11:52 am

23. I know this is a few days old so I don’t even know if you’ll see it, but I also wanted to add that if you haven’t had it done recently, have your thyroid levels checked. I was having pretty severe depression (honestly thought of how nice it would be to go to sleep and never wake up - not in a way to purposely hurt myself but just “stop” everything) while everything else in my life was going really well. Turns out that my T3 levels (one of the thyroid hormones) was way out of wack and was the most likely cause of the depression along with some other symptoms. They changed my thyroid medication last week and I’m already feeling so much better in terms of mental capability and outlook not to mention a decrease in other symptoms.

    At the end of the day, depression is real and incredibly powerful. Even when that voice in the back of your head is telling you to buck out of it, it just doesn’t seem possible to climb out of the abyss. I hope the medication you helps get you out of the darkness.

    Comment #23 by LEJMay 29th, 2007 at 1:11 pm

24. Jo in Utah-
    Please don’t call me (and others) dumb just because I haven’t decided to take medication for my depression, okay? Those people that “refuse” medication may just be trying other methods first, since even the hormones in BC wreak havoc. Your words sting, and are very hurtful. Even some women here have admitted getting the meds, but then getting off of them. That doesn’t mean they are dumb or worried about what other people think. They are doing what’s best for them in the moment that it is best for them. Generalized judgements are not fair.

    Wiz-
    I’m glad you are getting help and doing what you think is right. Good for you! I hope it works quickly and you feel better soon…

    Comment #24 by cherylMay 29th, 2007 at 2:21 pm

25. My only advice is to be patient as you go down this path. There are several different types of meds that can be effective, and the combination is different with everyone. What works for some people will be like sugar pills for you.

    There also have been studies that show that changing the meds every once in a while can have a beneficial effect, too. There are some people who benefit from one combination, only to have its effects wear off after a while, and rather than upping the doses of what was once effective, changing the entire medication regime was what was needed.

    Good luck.

    Comment #25 by CS EricMay 29th, 2007 at 2:28 pm

26. Yeah, add me to the list of people who have taken anti-depressants and are glad they did. Instead of a therapist, I just read books and did some intense journaling for that portion of overcoming depression. I hope you find a good therapist. I quit anti-depressants after about 18 months, and have been fine since then (another 18 months). I had thought that medication would be lifelong, which was one of the reasons I was reluctant to start pills. I realize that for some people, longterm medication is necessary. But I am grateful that I don’t need them anymore.

    God bless, and I hope you start feeling better soon.

    Comment #26 by MelindaMay 29th, 2007 at 3:11 pm

27. I’ll add my voice to the others who have taken meds at one point and commend you for knowing what you need to get back on track. Remember that their are many types of drugs, and some will work for you while others won’t. (For instance, seratonin drugs make me worse, not better.) If something doesn’t work, don’t be afraid to try something else. And while some people need medication for life, others don’t, so don’t be afraid to stop taking them if you feel like it. (Of course, some of the drugs can have weird side effects when you stop taking them, so you ought to do it in consultation with your doctor. I didn’t, but I can be a little stubborn and idiotic sometimes, so you probably shouldn’t follow my example. Though it did work just fine for me.)

    Comment #27 by VadaMay 29th, 2007 at 4:11 pm

28. Me too. I started taking mine this morning. Do what you gotta do to survive. And as an emeritus of moving hell, I hear ya, Sister.

    Comment #28 by Tracy MMay 29th, 2007 at 5:12 pm

29. Two more thoughts came to me that I wanted to share. The first is with regards to a therapist. Be cautious about who you select. There are several different philosophies out there. My cousin who was diagnosed with bipolar disorder (formerly known as manic depressive disorder) was told by his therapist that the reason he had mental illness was because he grew up in the church, which was “oppressive.” There are several other factors, however, my cousin has struggled with inactivity his entire adult life. This is why I sought out a therapist from LDS Family Services. She was very compassionate, and I felt like I could trust her. Whoever you choose, make sure you feel comfortable with that person and can really open up.

    Second, I felt like the sisters in my RS were my lifesavers. My RS Pres (who also had experienced depression) came to one of my Dr’s appointments to be extra supportive when I was feeling so incapable. She also (at my request) made a daily appointment with various sisters where I would go and spend an hour or two each day or they would come to my house. This continued for several weeks and was such a blessing. It helped me crawl out of bed, shower, get dressed and function as close to normal as possible. The sisters were so gracious and generous; they have become some of my closest friends. Now this may not work for you with your move and 3 kids, but I would encourage you to get out of the house as much as possible. And the social connection with women in the gospel makes such a difference. Good luck!

    Comment #29 by KimarooMay 29th, 2007 at 6:38 pm

30. Thanks, everyone. I have decided not to do therapy right at the moment, just because with the move, by the time I found someone, got in, and everything, I would maybe have time for one or two appointments, so it wouldn’t do much good at this point. I do agree that a good therapist is crucial.

    I am not afraid to change the drugs if they don’t work. I know it’s an exercise in trial and error, and my doc was very very clear on that point. I just hope we find something that works early on, so I can get functioning before the move, and have some to keep me sane through finding a doc and everything down there.

    Want to buy my house? PLEASE?

    Comment #30 by The WizMay 30th, 2007 at 12:27 pm

31. I remember feeling this way when I became active in the church again. What’s wrong with me? Why don’t I have enough faith? Why aren’t I good enough to fix? Do I deserve this for the mistakes I’ve made? One day I realized that the Lord has given us the tools to help ourselves. And sometimes those tools are pills and therapy.
    It took a fair amount of trial and error to find the right prescription, but it was worth it the day my VT companion said to me “Are you doing something different? You seem so much more relaxed and happy”. I feel like I finally get to be who I really am.
    I’ve been pill free for about two years, though I still tend to hit rough spots now and then. Using the behavior modification tools I learned in therapy are a great help when I feel myself starting to slip. Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do. And we’re all behind you 100%!!

    Comment #31 by mo mommyMay 30th, 2007 at 5:50 pm

32. Hi, Wiz -

    I hope you feel better soon. I don’t know your situation, and you very well may not have shared personal medical information with the internet, but I have to speak up here and say that I worry that someone might read this thread as justification to take mind altering/body chemistry altering drugs to cope with situations that everyone finds stressful (moving, divorce, losing a job) rather than in response to a biological medical issue.

    I’m not judging you, Wiz, or anyone else who decides that medication is the only way they can get through a rough patch in their lives. But let’s also keep in mind that this medication can have serious side effects, and probably should not be taken on a short term basis just to cope with (say) the stress of moving.

    Again, I wish you the best, and I don’t know your personal situation, but it’s obvious that many people support and love you. I hope you can find what you need to get through this difficult time in your life. Good luck with the move!

    Comment #32 by A readerMay 31st, 2007 at 9:02 am

33. Just an FYI. I had my first bout with clinical depression after my daughter was born. NOT FUN, and very serious. Just MAKE SURE you have your thyroid tested, not just your TSH, a complete panel. Also, get your adrenals and your hormones checked out. I have been on the drugs, and for me, they made me FAR worse than I was. So I had to start researching my brains out to find something to help me get better. Find what works for you, and don’t give up! There are many options available for depression! Good luck.

    Comment #33 by JenMay 31st, 2007 at 6:32 pm

34. A word of caution:
    I was so desperate to feel better, I took them without a second thought. They made me way worse, just like the last person to post. Just know what you are getting into. I never had suicidal thoughts, etc, until being on them. Therapy is found to be just as good, if not better, than meds. Lifestyle changes are usually what is needed for us mothers! We need help, and not always in the form of medication! Just realize that they are chemicals, and your seretonin cannot be measured, some call it mad science. I can’t say I disagree with that statement now that I have been through the whole psychiatric world. Be smart! You are not weak, you are not broken! You will feel better! Read, read and read some more. You are your best and most important advocate!

    Comment #34 by ReaderMay 31st, 2007 at 6:37 pm

35. A reader -

    It IS a biological medical issue.

    Comment #35 by The WizMay 31st, 2007 at 7:58 pm

36. Like I mentioned above, I spent about 18 months on anti-depressants. Towards the end of that time, I was feeling back in control and wishing I dared quit them. My problem was that since depression is a biological problem, just feeling better wasn’t a good enough reason to quit. I mean, if my serotonin levels were going to be chronically low my entire life, I had no choice but to stay on anti-depressants.

    Then someone emailed me a news article from the Wall Street Journal: Some Drugs Work to Treat Depression But It Isn’t Clear How. It pointed out that the science backing up serotonin-based anti-depressants isn’t nearly as clearcut as all the literature about depression makes it seem. Scientists have linked serotonin to depression by measuring the byproducts of serotonin in cerebro-spinal fluid (there isn’t a way to measure serotonin directly), but they don’t know what the link is. For example, most anti-depressants cause an immediate uptick in serotonin levels, yet it takes the depressed person weeks to feel better. If it’s truly serotonin levels and nothing else, why the lag? Read the article; it’s got lots more than that in it.

    I felt freer after I read it. If the serotonin stuff really wasn’t scientifically written in stone, then I could quit anti-depressants! Maybe this problem wasn’t so biological that I was stuck with it forever. On the strength of science’s uncertainty, I got the confidence to quit anti-depressants.

    I think that’s what “A Reader” is saying. There’s a lot out there about anti-depressants, and it all says the same thing. But the foundation isn’t as strong as a lot of the literature makes it sound. The connection between serotonin and depression is not as definite as the connection between insulin and diabetes. You can’t directly measure serotonin levels in a live person, which is why depression is not diagnosed based on a blood test or even a brain scan. There is a physical component to depression, but scientists don’t know if that physical change in the brain causes depression, or if depression causes the physical changes. It’s a chicken and the egg thing.

    I don’t discourage anyone from taking meds. Like I said, I did it myself and found them extremely helpful. But I also think it’s a mistake to believe that meds are the only way out of depression.

    Also, the book “How to Win Over Depression” by Time LaHaye was invaluable, once I got over being absolutely furious with the author’s assertion that I could get rid of most of my depressive emotions by an act of will. I seriously threw this book across the room I was so angry at it. Then I acknowledged the author was right and I got to work.

    There is more to getting over depression than medication. Take the meds if you need them, but don’t forget the rest of the treatment. God bless. And I’m not judging you or trying to make you feel bad about taking meds. I would have screamed myself red in the face if someone had said to me what I just said in this comment when I first started on meds. But once the meds get you back to the point where you can work on yourself, remember that there is more to overcoming depression than taking meds.

    Comment #36 by MelindaJune 1st, 2007 at 12:17 am

37. Thanks, Melinda. I agree with you (and the research).

    Comment #37 by A readerJune 1st, 2007 at 11:13 am

38. Good commentary Melinda.

    I was on Lexapro for about seven months and recently tapered off the last five weeks. I was faced with a severe traumatic family situation, and went to my primary physician for some guidance, medically-speaking.

    The anti-depressant, in conjunction with therapy, helped me get through the trauma.

    I have found out that there isn’t a magic pill to make my feel happier–sometimes you have to feel sad, and at your humanly-possible lowest, in order to make fundamental changes within yourself.

    I hope you are feeling relief soon!

    Comment #38 by MelinaJune 3rd, 2007 at 7:29 pm

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    Comment #39 by Dave FugleJune 22nd, 2012 at 1:22 am

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