By The Wiz
I have to go clean my house. (Therefore I’m blogging.) Never mind that I spent lots of time cleaning it yesterday. Nope, it’s still not done. And if you had seen the state of my house yesterday, you would understand why it’s still not done. (Yes, my designer friend, I’m talking to you. You get it, right?)
The main reason, however, that I still have to clean my house today is not because I freakishly need a clean house at all times. (HAHAHAHAHA) Nope, it’s because my child’s third grade teacher is coming over today at 5:00 for a home visit.
Why, you ask? What on earth has your kid done to warrant a home visit? The answer is, of course, my answer to most questions: I have no idea. We just received a progress report and my kid is of course getting straight A’s because she’s brilliant beyond anything your children will ever know.
No, the teacher is coming because, well, she just is.
She’s going to visit all her students. All 26 of them. I can’t decide if this is one dedicated teacher, or one scary stalker lady. I’m leaning toward the former, if only because the alternative scares me.
Maybe she wants to case out the joint and then come and steal all our extra lamps. I’m OK with that. I have an abundance of lamps for some reason, and some of them are quite scary.
Maybe she will fall in love with our
hideous fabulously gorgeous gold-leaf curtain rods. Then she will steal them. And then I won’t have to take them to D.I. in the middle of the night so my boy won’t see me taking perfectly good swords out of the house. I hope this is the case. Maybe I can offer them to her as a way to guarantee future A’s. (Here, have some curtain rods and lamps. Now, do we have an understanding, wink, wink?)
Have you ever had teachers do home visits as a matter of course? If you are a teacher, have you done this? Why is this perfectly nice woman adding stress to my life? Do I offer her, like, cookies or something? Crap, do I have to make cookies now?
I don’t know. I’m not going to think about it. I’m just going to clean my house, and pray that my kids don’t destroy everything right before she gets here…..even though that would make a good blog post. There are just some sacrifices for blogging that I’m not willing to make.