By Heather O.
When J was 8 months old, he got pneumonia.
I didn’t know what was wrong at first, as he didn’t have any respiratory symptoms. I just anxiously watched as his fever climbed higher and higher, and by the time I got him to the doctor, his temperature measured close to 104. Since he had no obvious symptoms of an infection, the doctor ordered a chest X-ray.
It was awful.
In order to keep such a small, squirmy, crying child still enough to get a clear image, they put him in a chair that had plastic shields that locked in place around his chest, completely immobilizing him. Then they slid the X-ray film in front of his face, so not only was he unable to move, he was unable to see me, as well. I could only hold his hand and talk to him soothingly as they took the X-ray. I had to talk pretty loudly, however, to be heard over his earsplitting wail of terror.
It didn’t take long for the doctor to read the film and tell me J had pneumonia. Armed with a diagnosis, antibiotics, and some infant Motrin, I took my traumatized baby home. Sick and exhausted, he was inconsolable, so I sat down with him in the rocking chair and rocked and rocked him, trying to calm him down.
We stayed in that rocking chair all day long.
Not normally willing to stay in one place for very long, J would whimper every time I tried to move. He suckled at my breast for hours, another thing he never, ever did, and I sat alone with him in my apartment, on that chair, and watched the light in the room turn from yellow, to orange, to gray, and finally extinguish all together as the night began. I remember sitting in the dark, dozing, all the while rocking back and forth.
My mother called that night, to ask how everything was.
“Mom, I haven’t moved from the rocking chair all day. I have rocked this child the ENTIRE DAY,” I whined to her, spent from extended anxiety, stress, and lack of sleep.
My mother sighed and said, “I’m so glad. You did the right thing. How wonderful to have nothing to do but rock a sick baby all day.”
When she said that, I rolled my eyes and thought, I didn’t exactly have a choice, and you’re not the one whose backside is numb from sitting on it for so long.
That was almost exactly 5 years ago.
My son, still not willing to stay in one place for very long, no longer fits in my lap in the rocking chair. We’ve moved the chair from his room to his baby sister’s room, and replaced it with a reading chair that he got to pick out. He started Kindergarten last week, and for the first time in his life, I am no longer aware of what he does during the day. He doesn’t offer details of his adventures in the classroom, only vague hints here and there, and I am left wondering how I could have possibly thought it was good idea to let this child out of my sight.
Don’t get me wrong. I love watching my son grow up. I love hearing him sing to himself, and plunk out notes to his favorite song on the piano. I love that tonight, when we went out to dinner, he used the word “peaceful” to describe the ambiance. I love that he can put his shoes on by himself, and I LOVE the fact that he sleeps through the night. But as much as I love it, it’s hard to accept that never again will I be able to just gather him up and rock him, all day long.
Forgive me for waxing nostalgic. It’s such a cliche, to write about wistful memories of babies on a Mommy blog. But as I rocked my second baby tonight, singing to her as I prepared to put her down, I was reminded of my mother’s words, and again thanked my Heavenly Father for my 2 perfect gifts. How wonderful to have nothing to do but rock a sweet baby, all day long.




can’t…..stop…weeping…. Thanks a LOT Heather!
Comment #1 by SueSeptember 26th, 2007 at 4:20 amWhat a sweet post. My 5 y/o just started Kingergarten too, and it has been really hard for me not to know exactly what she does all day and who she is with…I wish some days I could be a fly on the wall and watch her learn and play like when she is at home. She was my little sidekick for 5 years and I miss having her around all day.
Comment #2 by AubreySeptember 26th, 2007 at 4:41 amThis same 5 y/o also had to have a chest x-ray when she was around 1 year old. That little torture device they have to put them in is AWFUL. At least she doesn’t remember being terrified and screaming while the techs had to take multiple films. I of course will never forget that. She, luckily, did not have pneumonia, but just the agony of listening to your baby scream with no way to comfort her is punishment enough!!!!
One of the most beautiful things you’ve ever written. Thank you for sharing such a precious memory.
Comment #3 by Tracy MSeptember 26th, 2007 at 4:59 amI LOVED this - thank you for the reminder. I had to take my 4 month-old baby in for a CAT scan and they strapped her down to where she couldn’t see me or move and she was terrified. She was fine within moments of being done but it took me a lot longer to settle down and stop the tears. Now when she gets hurt or something she wants her dad….huh???
Comment #4 by RubiaSeptember 26th, 2007 at 8:08 amRubia-
J had to have a CAT scan when he was 2 and a half, and DH almost burst into tears himself when that same terrified wail came out of our son’s mouth. Same thing as you describe–he was swaddled in blankets, and then strapped down to a table. I can’t imagine a more terrifying prospect of immobility, and this time he could understand and ask to be released. It was awful, but at least it was quick. The chest X-ray took longer, because they had to do it twice.
Medical procedures for little kids are a nightmare. Tammy, I’m sure you are reading this and thinking, “Wow, that’s NOTHING!”
Comment #5 by Heather O.September 26th, 2007 at 8:12 amThank you for sharing that wonderful post. My son just started kindergarten as well and while I love seeing all the things he can do,I keep wondering when did my baby boy grow up?
Comment #6 by StaceySeptember 26th, 2007 at 3:55 pmThanks for the post. It’s leaving me very teary-eyed & nostalgic about my own son’s encounters with the medical professionals.
Comment #7 by Natalie S.September 26th, 2007 at 4:44 pmThank you again.
Heather O. - did J have to have a surgery as a result? My baby had to have her skull reconstructed at 8 months….it was awful, but she is doing beautifully now. Your post reminded me of sitting in the hospital with her for days as well as just the regular ol’ nights of colds, croup, etc. It is so nice to think of the good side of these situations because it is so tough to do that “in the moment” they are happening. My #2 baby is due any day now and this was such a great reminder to enjoy all the experiences and stages. Thanks again for a great post!
Comment #8 by RubiaSeptember 26th, 2007 at 6:20 pmI loved this Heather. And I’m crying. Thank you.
Comment #9 by maraliseSeptember 26th, 2007 at 9:48 pmRubia-
J did not have to have surgery–he had fallen and had a concussion, and the doctors wanted to make sure he didn’t have any brain damage. Thankfully, he was fine.
Comment #10 by Heather O.September 27th, 2007 at 2:49 amSo good for me to hear. . . sometimes I just want all this baby business to speed up. And the fact that I’m only on #1 doesn’t help. . . posts like this help keep it in perspective that someday I WILL miss my precious little baby even though she still sometimes cry for over an hour in the middle of the night. (sigh)
Comment #11 by MiggySeptember 27th, 2007 at 4:23 amI have a kindergartener and a senior in high school this year(and a couple in between). It’s really weird to see one starting his educational career and one ending it(well, he will go on to college, but you know what I mean). I just don’t know where the time goes!! It’s crazy to drop one off at college day today and the other off at kindergarten.
Comment #12 by BSeptember 27th, 2007 at 10:46 amBeautiful memory, Heather. It’s so hard when you have a second baby and don’t have the luxury of simply sitting with them snuggling for hours on end. I try and hold my 2nd as much as possible, but there is always some need my toddler has and I haate to say I’ve never even held my new baby through a nap. She has only slept in my arms ONCE. I must have held my first baby through hundreds of naps. That’s how it goes I guess.
Comment #13 by SarahSeptember 28th, 2007 at 7:04 am*very soft smile*
Comment #14 by Lisa MSeptember 28th, 2007 at 9:44 pmI often wonder how I am going to cope when my kids no longer want to snuggle and rock…I think I am going to have major withdrawals. Thanks for this great read!
Comment #15 by JenOctober 3rd, 2007 at 3:38 pmThank you, Heather.
This past month we’ve had the flu followed by the stomach flu at our house. With four young kids (the oldest is in kindergarten), someone has been sick pretty much everyday (and night) for probably five weeks. Every so often as I’m rocking someone, I think of this post and am so grateful that I can be here doing this. I am so thankful that the things not getting done are only the dishes or the library trip or a nicer dinner. And I’m so grateful to know that those things don’t matter and that my kids have someone to hold them when they hurt.
This month would have been much harder without that perspective. Thank you so much for helping turn a long, hard month into a month full of sweet reminders of how big and important this mothering job is.
Comment #16 by RachelNovember 8th, 2007 at 8:21 am[…] We have written about great moments before. Here’s one of mine. Here’s one of Tracy’s. Here’s one of Heather’s. (We also have our slacker moments, we’re all human here). […]
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