By Hollywood
“Mom, where’s my purple blanket?”
I froze. This was it - the moment of truth.
* * *
Two hours earlier I had brought Penny’s ratty purple blanket down to the laundry room to wash the stink out of it for the millionth time. I filled the machine with detergent, loaded the other clothes, then held up the old chenille blanket with my fingertips. If you could even call it a blanket anymore. The weave had come undone and it was full of gapping holes my toddler could fit her limbs through. I had re-hemed it more than once but it was a losing battle and I had been thinking of throwing it out for months now. Today was trash day…
The maintenance man was at the apartment complex today and should be emptying the laundry room trash in just a few minutes. The blanket had been Penny’s constant companion since birth but it was just plain nasty now. It needed to be done. She’d probably never notice when it didn’t come up with the clean laundry. I dropped the blanket in the garbage can, feeling immensely relieved to have finally done the deed.
* * *
I opened her bedroom door and looked down at her. “I need my purple blanket,” she repeated. I hadn’t planned how to handle this. I knelt down next to her and looked at her silently, thinking of a easy way to break the news. “Your purple blanket is ruined,” I said.
I watched with amazement as Penny’s face disappeared into her lower lip. Her eyes widened then welled with tears. She didn’t make a sound but began quivering, overwhelmed with emotion. I had never seen her this distraught before. I held out my arms for a hug and she stumbled to me, gasping in shock. She put her arms around my neck and held tight, shaking. I hadn’t expected a reaction like this and felt terrible. After all, the blanket wasn’t doing any harm by being ratty. It was a huge part of Penny’s life and traveled with her on all her adventures and playdates. She’d had it since birth and its simple presence had always calmed and soothed her for nap time or car trips. What had I done?
I pushed back from Penny. The tears were streaming down her face now and grief was still shaking her body. “Maybe I can find it…” I said. She nodded her head and was finally able to choke out a sob. I jumped up and rushed for the apartment door. Surely I was too late.
I had trashed the blanket almost two hours ago. The maintenance man would have cleaned the laundry room by now. What had I done? I ran into the laundry room and over to the trash can.
There, under a heap of dryer lint and an empty detergent bottle, was the purple blanket. For the first time, I was grateful for our maintenance man’s bad habit of neglecting to clean our laundry room. I grabbed the blanket, gave it a good shake to get the lint off and rushed back upstairs to my grief-stricken child.
“Penny! I found it!!” I shouted.
“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” said Penny. She took the blanket gently and climbed back into her bed, pressing her face into the threadbare chenille. Still letting out occasional sobs, she closed her eyes and tried to fall asleep.
As I closed her bedroom door, I knew I’d never be able to throw the blanket out again. I have looked for a replacement but had been unable to find the exact blanket. This one would have to last. I’ll have it plasticized. I’ll have it bronzed. I’ll do whatever it takes, this blanket is here to stay. Penny’s fragile emotional health, and consequently mine, depend on it.




wash the blanket as best you can, fold it up and store it in a ziploc baggie. make a small replacement out of similar fabric and let her know that you’ll always save the beloved blankie, but that if you don’t protect it now, it won’t last for much longer.
Comment #1 by AlisonSeptember 28th, 2007 at 6:31 amStorage is a great idea, Alison. The problem with the blanket is that because of the loose weave, I can’t mount it on a sturdy cotton blanket to preserve it and a similar problem presents itself if I tried to just cut off a square corner. The weave is just too threadbare to last. But I really do want to save her baby blanket and it seems a zip-lock would be the best option for that.
But maybe she’d be happiest if I just let her love it to utter death? Sure, she’d be glad in 20 years to be able to have a zip-locked baby blanket, but maybe I should just let her enjoy it now as it is? I’m torn.
Comment #2 by SarahSeptember 28th, 2007 at 6:37 amYou could always try the blame game. When it was time to take the pacifier away from my daughter I put it in the garbage and THE GARBAGE MAN took it away.
“I’m sorry, honey, the garbage man took it away and it is all gone and he can’t bring it back.”
She mourned and it was hard but she never thought of other options.
I’m the meanest mom.
Comment #3 by LizaSeptember 28th, 2007 at 7:13 amLet her love it to death. She doesn’t need to have a baby blanket to take with her to college, or put in her scrapbook, she needs it to nap with and hold to her face when there are scary monsters around RIGHT NOW. Eventually, when (or if!) it dies, she can see the reality for herself, and choose to do without the blanket on her own. Much healthier for everybody.
I threw away all of J’s bottles and went cold turkey when he was 2, so I’m not against throwing things away. But a blanket won’t hurt her teeth, or anything like that. I say let her have it until she doesn’t want it anymore. Or it gets so ratty it’s impossible to hold.
Comment #4 by Heather O.September 28th, 2007 at 7:19 amWe have a pink blanket like that. It is so threadbare, it is awful. But it is loved. It’s for my 8 year old. She used to carry it everywhere, she’s had it since birth, and now she just needs it to sleep with, or if she’s sick. She CAN sleep without it, but she still loves it.
I have no problem with her taking the ratty thing to college if she wants. I don’t think it’ll last that long. I know people who still sleep with comfort objects, and they’re married!
Don’t throw it away. Let her love it to death.
Comment #5 by The WizSeptember 28th, 2007 at 7:34 amI had a blanket from birth that I loved loved loved. I continued to sleep with it all the way through high school, not because I needed it for comfort, but simply because it was the perfect blanket! It was a silkier material and made me warm in winter and cool in the summer as I slept. I still have it today, though it’s tucked away in a safe place and I don’t use it. But I’m so glad that my parents never got rid of it, because it wasn’t an unhealthy thing for me, just something I loved, and I turned out pretty well I think.
Comment #6 by StarababaSeptember 28th, 2007 at 7:45 amI am so relieved the maintenance man hadn’t come. You have no idea. I was almost crying myself.
My son has a blanket that’s been loved to beyond-death. It is the fabric equivalent of running on fumes. It was only a cheap receiving blanket in the first place, so it wasn’t all that substantial to begin with. It must be an act of God that keeps it from disintegrating. It is gross-looking, but I could never throw it away. Not only does he love it, but it’s taken on so much symbolic meaning for me. I keep trying to think of a new way to “reinforce” it, but I guess I will just wait until it’s taken up to heaven in a chariot of fire.
Comment #7 by madhousewifeSeptember 28th, 2007 at 7:50 amHow about iron on interfacing to shore up the weave before you back it with some other fabric?
Comment #8 by Jo in UtahSeptember 28th, 2007 at 7:53 amI think you made the right call, Sarah. I agree with the others, let her love it to death. Take a picture for the baby book, let the real thing unravel. My girls (6 and 4) both still have their special blankets. Even though they are WAY too small for the blankets now, they sleep with them every night (in addition to their “grown up” comforters).
Comment #9 by SueSeptember 28th, 2007 at 8:31 amMy 25-year-old husband still sleeps with his blankie. Sure, he can sleep without it, and he didn’t have it the first year of our marriage, but if he’s sick or sad? Out it comes.
It’s absolutely gross to me (so many holes, the stuffing is falling out all over the place) but it makes him happy. At least he washes it.
Comment #10 by EmilySeptember 28th, 2007 at 9:08 amI’m all for keeping the blanket! My oldest’s blanket was ratty and my hubby threw part of it away and I about died. She has two little pieces of it left, but she still stuffs it in her pillow case and brings it down for the laundry once a week with her sheets.
Comment #11 by LisaSeptember 28th, 2007 at 9:08 amI was a bad thumb sucker when I was young. I used to hold my baby blanket while I sucked my thumb for comfort. My parents tried everything to get me to stop sucking my thumb. One day, I came home from school (yes, I was 5 and sucking my thumb) and my dad was standing in front of the warm fireplace. He said, “We threw your baby blankie in the fireplace because you wouldn’t stop sucking your thumb.” I cried and cried that day. Years later, my mom pulled out my beloved blankie. They really hadn’t thrown it in the fire. But the trauma that gave me was awful. Let her have her blankie! (Note: Throwing my blankie in the fire didn’t stop my thumb sucking. A promise to take me to DisneyWorld did. Did they ever take me? NO! But I’m not bitter.
)
Comment #12 by CheckersSeptember 28th, 2007 at 9:11 amMy wife’s grandmother knit her an afghan out of leftover yarn, so it is a collection of colors that don’t completely match. Hence its name of “Ugly Affie.” Like those blankets of many other who have commented, she can sleep without it, but when she’s really sick or depressed, out comes Ugly Affie and she feels better.
Comment #13 by CS EricSeptember 28th, 2007 at 10:20 amOh my gosh, a few weeks ago the stuffed dog I have slept with for most of my life (including marriage) lost its nose. I was absolutely devastated. I curled up into a ball on the floor and cried and cried and cried until my husband went out and bought some superglue. I performed some emergency nasal plastic surgery and now Rusty is fine, but it was so scary and depressing to have to face the fact that he’s not going to last forever!
Of course the fact that I am pregnant and hormonal could have added to the sobbing bit, but you know, it makes a good story
And I still have my baby blanket. I stopped sleeping with it when I was around 14. It’s in fair condition though, because it was made of …”normal” fabric, like cotton, instead of knit or a loose weave.
Comment #14 by KrisisSeptember 28th, 2007 at 10:36 amPS: My mom still has her baby blanket, and it’s old and ratty and scary and that particular shade of grey that comes from something that was white a loooong time ago. It’s safely packed up with some of her journals in a plastic storage tub. See? I’m perfectly normal. Right? Normal?
Comment #15 by KrisisSeptember 28th, 2007 at 10:42 amLove it to death.
Comment #16 by Tracy MSeptember 28th, 2007 at 11:25 amSO glad you got it back!!! i was on the edge of sad/mad for sweet penny! i still have mine, but it’s been packed away for years and years. my sister loved straight through two blankets and, at 21, still sleeps with the third one. and there’s nothing wrong with that!
my second has one of those chenille blankies. they wear down FAST!
Comment #17 by makakonaSeptember 28th, 2007 at 12:16 pmI just realized my husband and I use the same comforter we bought when we were first married and living in Hawaii, 18 years ago. We’ve tried other comforters, but none are as comfortable. It’s so ugly—black on one side, grey on the other—but it’s just so perfect.
Comment #18 by Susan MSeptember 28th, 2007 at 12:57 pmDitto! Love it to death!!! Take a picture, make sure you keep a copy of this blog entry because it was SO well written & then let her love it until it no longer exists.
Comment #19 by Natalie S.September 28th, 2007 at 1:04 pmRachel has TWO blankets she has to take everywhere. Luckily they are sturdy and haven’t shown too many signs of wear..except the occasional stain. You are strong for trying to get rid of the blankie…I don’t think I could do it. Hopefully it will last as long as Penny needs it, that’s all that matter’s right?
Comment #20 by Jamie JSeptember 28th, 2007 at 1:12 pmI’ve been out all day and just read all these great comments!
Emily - I laughed and laughed that your husband still sleeps with his blankie! You are a sweet wife to accommodate his need to revert to a childlike state when he’s feeling down. But then again, you did rat him out here… (jk!)
Madhousewife, I loved the image of the blanket getting whisked off to heaven on a chariot of fire! I swear, the things these poor blankets go through, it would be only fitting it that was the case.
Jo in Utah - EXCELLENT idea about an iron-on interface. I hadn’t thought of that but it could make this blanket last till the millennium. I’ll have to go to the craft store next week and see what they’ve got. Thanks for the suggestion!
Checkers - Seriously?! I can’t believe they told you they BURNED your blanket when you were five years old!! I can see lifelong scarrage there. And come visit me in L.A. I’ll take you to Disneyland and try to fix the damage they’ve done. It ain’t no DisneyWORLD but it’s pretty great. I just got back from spending the day there and didn’t think of my old security blanket once.
Krisis, I’m glad you were able to find your dog’s nose! After all these years to lose the nose now?! I don’t think so.
Comment #21 by SarahSeptember 28th, 2007 at 6:26 pmlol I can so see some of these happening to me and my daughter as she gets older…. her poor “kitty” is worn to death already. It has been through the wash as many times as I could convince her to put it into “the bubble bath” … she’s only 2 and 1/2 and I hate to think of what that thing will end up looking like as she gets older! lol
Comment #22 by AprilSeptember 28th, 2007 at 8:17 pmI had a beloved blanket that my cousin hid from me. It was so traumatizing that he took it away. I still haven’t forgotten that. I say let her keep it.
Comment #23 by TiffanySeptember 28th, 2007 at 11:32 pmApril, have you tried to make “new clothes” for the kitty. A friend’s little girl had a bear or a bunny, can’t remember which, and it’s body was falling apart so she kept sewing a new body for it and just told her that they were it’s new clothes (that just couldn’t come off). And one of my sil used to buy cabbage patch dolls at DI and did transplant surgery with the head of her son’s doll and the body of the one she bought at DI. She did it for years and he never knew. The things that moms will do to make their kids happy (okay to get them to sleep).
Comment #24 by moddySeptember 29th, 2007 at 6:17 amOh and Sarah I’m glad that you were able to save it, I still have my “pinkie” blanket that my grandmother made for me, yes I took it to college and now it resides in my cedar chest (right next to my cabbage patch doll and my first teddy bear) were it still smells like grandma’s house. And when my kids ask to play with any of them, I tell them no, they might ruin them!
Thanks Moddy! that is a GREAT idea… I just may try that!
Comment #25 by AprilSeptember 30th, 2007 at 6:59 amMy sister steam cleans her eeyore that she has had forever. He is too fragile to take the beating he would get in the washing machine, so eeyore gets steam cleaned instead. Her husband bought the steam cleaner specifically for eeyore:) Until 2 years ago, I still had the stuffed mouse I had when I was a baby. He had so many patches on him that you couldn’t tell what his original color was, or where his mouth or nose used to be. I’m still sad I let my husband talk me into throwing him away. Boohoo.
Comment #26 by TrixieSeptember 30th, 2007 at 11:24 amI had a chenile light purple blanket and when it got to ratty and holy and disgusting my mom produced a similar but not the same purple blanket to replace it and i did not have a choice. I grew to love the new blanket which by that time became as badly worn as the first. If there’s even a smidgin of salvagable fabric on that blanket perhaps it could be sewn into a newer model so both blankets are together and she doesn’t have to let go of the first one, heartbreaking story, glad you are such a caring mother. My husband said his just ‘disappeared’ and my mil’s response when she takes or disgards or donates of something no matter who it belongs to or how precious it may be is always the same, “I don’t know.”
Comment #27 by bettyannmanghiOctober 1st, 2007 at 4:33 amI’m so glad that you were able to find the blankie. DD moved in with us when she was 5 with a blankie. We had to take her blankie away from her because it was causing too much trauma as a reminder or her previous home. We put it in my “treasure” (cedar) chest with the rest of Mommies treasures. We provided her with a different blankie and she could “visit” her old one occasionally. Fortunately, it worked well without a lot of added trauma to what she was already dealing with. At age 12 she “visits” only about every 6-9 months to just check and see if it is still there.
DS has a cousin three weeks younger than he is. Grammie made them quilts of identical fabric and different using different ties. DS has loved the backing and batting off of his. His cousin’s still looks brand new after nine years. DS has made the occasional comment and looked with great longing that “Johnanthan’s blue night night is so nice”. Talk about coveting!!
Comment #28 by JJOctober 1st, 2007 at 6:20 amA thought:
Get a small bottle of Downy, OxyClean, anything that you can add to the wash without destroying the fabrics, and is not something she’ll recognize as something you commonly use for the laundry.
Next explain to Penny that her old blankie is reaching that point where it won’t be able to hold onto the things that make it special. It won’t be soft anymore. It won’t keep her snuggled anymore. The holes won’t keep her warm anymore. Whatever she says it is about that old blankie that endears it to her is running out because the blankie has been loved so much.
Show her the Downy (or whatever)and explain that there’s something wonderful in this bottle that will make it so that everything she loves in the old blankie will transfer in the wash to a new blankie. Then the new blankie can be just as special as the old blankie was.
Take her shopping and let her find the new blankie that she was foreordained to have from the pre-existence. One that’s perfect to handle all the love she has. Take it home and let her she you add the Downy. The washing machine will transfer all the love from the old blankie to the new one. Then put the old one in a Ziploc and pack it away in the attic.
I know, slightly dishonest but it’s my experience that when dealing with something irrational (and by “irrational I don’t mean bad, just not rational) like devotion to a blanket sometimes an irrational solution is what you need.
Comment #29 by Chad TooOctober 2nd, 2007 at 3:28 pm